08/28/2024
Lately I've been learning ASL for words like release and let go and delete. Spring cleaning is a thing. You declutter and make space for the new. How often do you take stock of all the s**t that's cluttering your thoughts and beliefs... and then get rid of what's broken, out dated, and doesn't fit you anymore?
From the time we're born we're fed a narrative of who we should be. What's good and bad. What's right and wrong. We're told how to believe. How to behave. How to stay within the boundaries.
Is that working for you? Are you happy? Cuz if you're trying to force yourself into some external narrative of who you should be, you're gonna be miserable. Or maybe you can paint on that smile for a while, but the pressure will eat away at you.
And you might think, there are no external forces defining my life. Okay. Great. Are you happy? Truly happy? Cuz if not, maybe you gotta look a bit deeper. Why'd you choose your religion? Your job? Your living situation? Did you choose any of it or did you just follow the cues laid out before you?
Let me ask you this. Are you happy? If you said no, I'll ask, okay, what ARE you feeling? Okay. And how do you WANT to feel? Okay. How would feeling that FEEL? (Now try it on. Feel the good feels. Let it flow through your body.)
I've been doing the ASL cuz I wanted a physical representation of the cognitive release. I mix in some visualization too. I start by imagining I'm in my brain, in a file room or evidence storage, a space with lots of boxes and files. And I start taking all those socially accepted narratives that are total f*cking bull, taking the files off the shelves and starting a pile. Shame. Guilt. Fear. Playing it safe. Staying small. Dimming my light so others can feel comfortable. All the "accepted" beliefs around God and career and money and relationships and s*x and s*xuality and blah blah blah blah blah. It all goes in the pile.
And then I visualize it surrounded by fire. Maybe archangel Michael's flaming sword or St Germaine's violet flame of transmutation to change it. And it see it burn or fly off into nothingness or transform into light.
Then I affirm what fills the space. Love. Light. Grace. Joy. Freedom.