08/06/2024
So I had a really interesting conversation today and one I feel needs shared. Recently a friend/co-worker committed su***de and my heart hurt for her. I found myself becoming defensive when others would say it was a selfish act. And let me say first yes I still become a bit defensive as I do not see it as a selfish act. Another friend then pointed out this important view that I think needs shared.
When someone commits su***de they do leave so many others behind, asking why, and feeling like they should have seen it coming. This is engrained with things like su***de prevention, knowing the warning signs, etc. The hard reality is you will never see it coming and it is not the burden of the family to take that on. They are left without the person they loved. We all post how upset we are that they are gone, but many times we leave a generic response about prayers for the family. The family needs the post that says it is not on them. That their loved one’s choice is not their responsibility. That their loved one wanted to be there for them, but just felt they couldn’t anymore.
Maybe as we look at su***de prevention we also need to look at how to support the family of the one that passed. That we bring more light to what they are going through and the emotions; the burden they carry from feeling that they were not enough to stop what their loved one did.
We need to be compassionate to all sides and give understanding to the whole experience. My love goes out to the loved ones left with this experience. May you someday find peace for yourself and peace for your loved one.