09/12/2025
Two minute read… Totally worth it if you found yourself burned out in grief and powerless over things you’ve wanted and couldn’t make sense
Of. An alumni shares her story about her best friend, powerlessness and how she found healing …. And then came to work with us.
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Eek, nothing like putting everything out there, but if it can help one person …
Hi, I’m Chrissy. I had just turned 32, and I was absolutely exhausted. I felt like I couldn’t get through a single day without fear and anger screaming in my head. I told no one but a close crew this was happening and now trapped I felt when I should feel. I had grieved (I thought)
I was grieving deeply — losing my friend was just one example of the pain I carried. I was working too much, numbing my feelings, and stuck in what I now call crash mode. On the outside, I had everything I thought I wanted… but inside, I was not feeling joy.
I was angry. I was resentful. I didn’t even realize how much resentment I was holding — toward the legal system, the endless hoops we jumped through for our three adoptions, and the powerlessness I felt as a foster mom.
In desperation, I searched for help online and found Shades of Hope. I dialed the number, and a live human answered right away. Their compassion floored me. She asked me a simple but powerful question: “What’s changed? Why today. Sounds like youve been thinking about this for quite awhile”
My answer was honest: “I have everything I ever wanted, I serve people, I give, I show up for everyone, all the time and I still don’t feel joy. I want to feel joy desperately.”
That call changed my life. At Shades, I began processing grief I didn’t even realize I carried — like letting go of the fantasy of motherhood without the pain of state involvement. I started to heal wounds I thought would define me forever. Totally worth it, but in the depths of those moments I was so alooooonnnnnnnereeee!
This journey also brought me face-to-face with the devastating truth of mental health struggles. You’ll see in the video below a friend who only lived a fraction of his potential because of those battles. We couldn’t save him. But maybe, by sharing my story, we can save someone else.
So, here I am today:
• A wife and mother of three very challenging teenagers
• A corporate executive
• A full-time thinker and relentlessly curious human being
Those traits led me to question everything — including myself. I stumbled across an episode of The Ruby Show featuring Tennie and the Shades team, and I finally called for help. My patterns of overwork, burnout, and over-giving had caught up with me.
I learned something life-changing: the only person I could heal was myself.
Since then, I’ve been on a journey of deep healing, and I’ve found countless reasons why Shades of Hope is worth considering.
Please, watch the video below. I. Honor of Jesse. If you’re feeling like I did — stuck, resentful, or numb — know that you’re not alone. There is hope, and help is closer than you think.
