06/25/2025
UNFOCUS ON FEAR
What happens hen you Focus on Fear?
There is an old acronym for Fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.
I think those four words are quite important right now for all of us. Every time we turn on our computers, phones, or TV sets, we are blasted with hearing about someone who has done or said something hateful and or/illegal. Whatever that something was, it inserts itself into our being like a tick, boring into our skin, sucking our life force out.
And there it is. Fear sucks our life force out. The more one dwells in Fear, the more of a cloudy illusionary world one finds themselves in.
I am not suggesting that you turn your back on all the news. What I am saying is that small doses work just as well as binging. You get the same information, just without the vast number of talking heads with opinions. Let’s be honest here, opinions are like armpits. Everyone has some. Some of them don’t smell very good. And…wait for it…. opinions are just that. OPINIONS! Some people are paid to voice their opinions, but most people are not, but voice them loudly anyway.
Let’s take this opinion issue one step further. Some opinions are deliberately geared towards one viewpoint and nothing else. In fact, the person giving that opinion is likely paid and/or persuaded to get in front of a microphone and voice it.
All is well and good, we have free speech, and at least at the time of this writing, we are all free to voice our opinions wherever and however we wish.
However, what I am targeting with this blog is Fear. Back to that word Fear.
When we are in fear, true honest to God fear, we can barely think a coherent thought. Our bodies may not even cooperate with us, standing still when our mind is shouting RUN! Fear makes everyone susceptible to someone’s opinion that is pushing even more fear! Since we can’t make our minds behave and think, we greedily grab onto whatever someone else is saying because we think that maybe they know more than we do?
So here it is. Fear can save your life, if a bear is coming after you, or there is a shooting at the movie theater you are attending or keeps you from stepping in front of a car. However, Fear also has a dark side, that if left to fester long enough, affects your eating habits, your sleeping habits, your emotional wellbeing and ability to function normally.
For example, I am sure you own some kitchen knives, which serve a function to cut food. However, in the hands of an emotionally disturbed person, you may want to stay far away from that person with a large knife in their hands. Even if they never physically harm you, they emotionally harm you. That incident puts you into an extreme fear state while you were threatened and long afterwards.
It isn’t the knife that is harmful. It is certainly not illegal to own all kinds of knives. Where the trouble starts is when a knife is used against you to promote fear.
Another example is me going to the dentist. I can work myself into quite the fearful state of ‘What ifs” What if this happens? What if that happens? This is 100% my brain having a hey day with fear. Most things that my brain is cooking up never happened nor ever will. It is fear having a holiday at my expense.
Does this make dentists bad? Of course not. It is my reaction to dentists that need to be readjusted.
What to do??? It really isn’t hard, but you will need to untrain yourself into taking deep dives into fear, and instead, refocus where your attention lies.
How do I do this??? The fastest, most effective way I know is breathing. Yes, I said breathing.
First sit comfortably wherever you are. Notice if your shoulders, arms, hips, back are tense. Consciously untense them now. When that is done, take a deep belly breath to the count of 5. Hold to the count of 6. And release that breath to the count of 7. Do this several times until you feel that your fear level and greatly decreased.
Remove yourself from what or who is causing the fear if possible. (Most of the time it will be.)
Make it a point to catch yourself falling into fear and follow the above steps. This will take some practice! Ego loves us to be in fear. Ego eats fear for breakfast!
I live in Florida. Florida has hurricanes and storms. They sure can be fearful! However, the more one prepares for the storm, the less fearful they are, and one can ride out the storm in far less fear than if they have not.
Fear is like that storm, coming in all different disguises, shapes and forms. Fear saps your strength and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am attempting to catch your attention now before the next wave of fear sweeps you away.
1. Remove yourself from what/who is causing that fear if possible. Ie change the channel on the tv.
2. Use the triangular breathing I just taught you. In for 5, hold for 6, release for 7.
3. When the fearful incident has passed, and you are thinking clearly again, make a new plan for yourself. This is your plan.
4. Remember how we are instructed on airplanes to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first! True that. You will do a far better job of helping others (if need be) if you have taken care of business first.
Finally, write this down on a small card and tape it onto your bathroom mirror.
WHAT I FOCUS ON, EXPANDS.
Not woo woo by the way. Science.
And folks? Fear is at the top of that list. If you constantly focus on fear, you will get lots more fear, thank you very much! However, if you focus on being peaceful and calm, you will get more of that.
WHAT I FOCUS ON EXPANDS.
