12/12/2025
On Tuesday nights, I take a yoga class at my local studio. It's nice for me to be a student in community at a place I teach weekly, and to be guided by a fellow teacher.
It's a time I put on my calendar and look forward to even though I head to this class after a full day of teaching. For the past few weeks, as I leave my final class of the day, I haven't wanted to go. What I want is to go home. So instead of going to the yoga studio, I've done just that.
I know it's the right call for me to go home and do yoga, but I still hear the nagging voice that says I should go to the studio. I should take a challenging class. it should be a certain style, or length.
That voice quieted this week as I realized a few things:
It's almost winter. In the Pacific Northwest, we actually call it "The Big Dark". When I leave my last class of the day, 5pm feels like hours later than it actually is. It is harder for me to feel motivated when it's dark outside which means I am even more of a homebody in the winter.
This year has been a season of expansion, growth, and refinement for Sugarcane Yoga. I am honored to do the work I do and feel it is the work I am truly meant to do. And, I'm tired. Like, really tired. I am looking forward to a couple weeks off at the end of this month.
Lastly, in January of this year, my dad died. It was a long, slow, painful decline. While his death wasn't a surprise, nothing prepares you for the gravity of the loss. I started the year in grief. As we approach the holiday season, and in January the first anniversary of his passing, I'm ending the year grieving as well.
So when I got home last night, I said my hellos to my partner and dog, then spent some time on my mat alone like I've been doing the past few Tuesdays.
I'm listening to what I need in this season. And what I need is introspection, privacy, tenderness, and let my intuition guide me. My personal yoga practice is mine alone right now.
I'm honoring the season I'm in- actually, energetically, emotionally. And so should you.