12/07/2021
Let go of the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will do in your life, and the most important. Stop having endless conversations with those who don't want to or can’t change. Stop showing up for people who cannot show real interest in your presence. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten, or ignored, take your time and energy elsewhere. If your instinct is to do anything and everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, think carefully about this and ask yourself how it affects your time, energy, and mental and physical health. When you fight for a life of love, meaning, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow. This doesn't mean you need to change who you are; it means you should let go of those who aren't ready for where you need to go. The truth is that you are not for everyone, and not everyone is for you. This is what makes it so rewarding when you meet people who reciprocate - you will feel, on a deep level, how important this is, and how draining it is to be around people who cannot return the love you need.
The time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to love you back is time you waste not finding this connection with someone else. Maybe if you stop showing up, you’ll feel unwanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn't mean you ruined the relationship; it means the only thing holding it together was the energy you gave it. This isn’t love; it's insecurity, and lack of confidence in yourself. It's wanting to give a chance to those who aren’t ready for it. There are people who should not be in your life, no matter how much you think or feel that you love or need them. You will encounter hundreds and hundreds of people on your journey through this universe, many of whom can and will meet you on your level of love and commitment. The more you stay involved with people who cannot give of themselves, who use you as a pillow or background option or therapist for their own emotional healing, the farther away you get from from the community, the people you need.
The most valuable things we have in our lives are our time and energy, and both are limited. How and when you give your time and energy defines your existence. When you understand this, you begin to realize why you feel anxious when you’re with people or in situations that don't suit you. You begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone around you, is to protect your energy fiercely. You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for making anyone improve. It's not your work to exist for and give your life to anyone. If you feel guilty, or if you feel compelled, this is the root of all your problems, and you will live your life fearing that others will not return what you have given. Your only obligation is to realize that you are in control of your destiny, and to give and welcome the love you deserve. Decide that you deserve true friendship and commitment, true and honest love with healthy and generous people, and let go of those who for whatever reason cannot give of themselves. Then notice how everything begins to change. This, and only this, will bring you the love, meaning, and happiness you deserve.
