Fleur de Lis Doula Karen Henshaw

Fleur de Lis Doula Karen Henshaw I am a childbirth educator and birth doula serving the Greater New Orleans area from The Northshore.

04/02/2026
02/14/2026

My Surprise Twin Home Birth: The Arrival That Sparked a Global Debate

My beautiful surprise twins entered the world in a rush—just one hour of active labour—born gently in our bath at home. We were expecting the placenta… and instead discovered there was another baby on the way.

What followed was something none of us could have imagined. Both midwives present were suspended. Debate erupted. Our birth story travelled across the globe, drawing more than 1.5 million views, comments and reactions.

So why did it cause such a stir?

Because it challenged assumptions. It disrupted the narrative so many of us have absorbed without even realising it. It shone a light on a birthing culture that often tells women a natural, instinct-led birth is unsafe, unrealistic or irresponsible. Over time, that message settles quietly into our beliefs, feeding fear about our bodies and our ability to carry and birth our babies.

For many women, pregnancy means entering a system: appointments scheduled, scans arranged, instructions given—where to go, when to arrive, who will examine you, what tests are required to determine whether your baby is “normal.” We comply because we’re told it’s necessary. Rarely are we reminded that much of it is optional—that mothers can make informed decisions about the care that feels right for them.

Somewhere along the way, the most important question gets lost: How do I want to carry and birth my baby? What care will make me feel safe? What will help me feel empowered?

Too often, the system unintentionally undermines the belief that women know their bodies and their babies. When that connection weakens, so does trust in our own instincts. And when we stop trusting ourselves, we forget that pregnancy and birth can be instinctive, deeply personal and transformative experiences. They are as individual as fingerprints.

We forget that bringing a child into the world is a rite of passage—one that can be powerful and life-changing. Many women sense they are capable of it, but external messaging convinces them otherwise. Hospitals, by necessity, operate under strict protocols. They manage immense demand and diverse needs. To maintain consistency and safety, they rely on policies that staff must follow closely.

Medical technology has advanced in extraordinary ways. Yet in that progress, something deeply human can be lost. Birth is often the moment when a mother and baby are most vulnerable. It is also when personalised, compassionate care matters most. Mothers need to feel heard, safe and respected in their choices. They have the right to accept or decline care according to their circumstances.

Pregnancy is not an illness. Birth is not inherently a medical emergency. It is a natural process that may require medical assistance—but not always. For me, my body carried my babies without instruction. It knew what to do. It brought them into the world without a machine directing it. I trusted that. And if help had been needed, I would have sought it—confident in the strength of our healthcare system.

This is not about rejecting scans or embracing them, choosing hospital birth or home birth. Each option carries benefits and risks. What matters most is that women feel informed and in control. Birth trauma and unnecessary intervention are increasing, and every woman deserves to explore what approach aligns with her needs.

A safe pregnancy and labour is one where the mother feels secure, confident and empowered. That looks different for everyone.

Hospitals face enormous pressure. Staff work within systems that demand strict adherence to guidelines. Many caregivers know that every mother is different, yet stepping outside protocol can result in disciplinary action, even loss of licence. This creates a culture of fear—where decisions may be shaped by policy rather than intuition or individual care.

The controversy around my twins’ birth became a reminder that one size does not fit all. For some women, the hospital environment provides comfort and safety. For others, different settings—such as birth centres or home births—better support their emotional and physical needs.

However, options for alternative birthing care are narrowing. Regulations set by bodies such as Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) have become increasingly stringent for private midwives. Many feel constrained in their ability to support women’s choices.

My midwife, Martina, respected the informed decisions my husband and I made during pregnancy and birth. For that, she faced suspension. She closed her business, let staff go, moved home and spent over $40,000 on legal fees. Months later, she had not been found guilty of wrongdoing—yet remained unable to practise. Our own account of events had not even been formally sought.

Her situation is not unique.

If private midwives are penalised for supporting informed maternal choice, the consequences may be unintended and serious. Fearful practitioners may step away from complex or unconventional births. Women who feel unheard within mainstream systems may turn to unassisted birth without professional support at all.

That outcome benefits no one.

The conversation sparked by my twins’ birth was never about rejecting medicine. It was about remembering that birth is deeply personal. It was about ensuring women retain agency over their bodies and their experiences. And it was about recognising that true safety includes not only physical wellbeing—but emotional and psychological security too.

There is no single “right” way to give birth. There is only the way that feels right, informed and supported for each individual mother.

08/01/2025
07/31/2025

Why human milk is a scientific marvel.

This
07/21/2025

This

Walk into a room while I am supporting a birth and you might think that I am just sitting there doing nothing. I won’t be talking. I won’t be touching the client. I won’t be using anything in my bag. And as a birth photographer, I think people think I hold the camera the whole birth. Honestly, I barely have it in my hands unless mom is pushing.

So what am I doing exactly?

🪑 Watching how mom behaves during contractions to see what labor positions her body may need to progress.
🪑 Watching mom’s breathing and sometimes breathing loudly alongside her to remind her to slow down her breath
🪑 Scanning mom’s body during the contraction to make sure that she isn’t holding any tension
🪑 Monitoring the temperature and lighting to create the peaceful environment that she desires
🪑 Calculating how long it has been since she emptied her bladder
🪑 Thinking about how long she has been in her current position and thinking about the next position that she might try
🪑 Timing contractions to see if they are longer, stronger and closer together
🪑 Thinking about when mom and her partner last had a snack
🪑 Reviewing her preferences to make sure that everything is going according to her plan
🪑 Thinking about what birth tools or comfort measures we could try next
🪑 Giving the couple space to connect on an intimate level (allowing for oxytocin) and/or guiding the partner to be the lead support
🪑 Updating notes and capturing labor flow

Sometimes just being fully present is enough. Sometimes just knowing I am there in close proximity is all mom needs to be able to relax and focus on what she needs to do. Sometimes just holding space for them in an unbiased manner allows for a noticeable shift in the energy of the room.

And the list goes on….
If you have been a client of mine, what would you add?

BTS Photo provided by a client.
Caption: YourDoulaBag with additional comments from me :)

Come meet your Northshore supporters of birthing families
06/07/2025

Come meet your Northshore supporters of birthing families

To mothers the day after a Holy Day of Obligation:How beautiful that you have come here to seek support and encouragemen...
08/16/2024

To mothers the day after a Holy Day of Obligation:

How beautiful that you have come here to seek support and encouragement from other moms in the trenches with you!

I have ADD and my ten year old daughter has Down Syndrome. We aimed for the 8:30 am mass and 12:10 mass but didn’t make it. For the 12:10, we drove half an hour to the church that had it, but didn’t get there until they were putting away communion because in this case, I needed to make an emergency bathroom break along the way. We finally arrived at a 7pm mass across town late because I had a 5:30 pm new client appointment and then I needed to pick up my girls and get to the church. I forgot my daughter’s headphones that help her sensitivity to the voices through the PA system. She had to use the restroom twice, once when we got there and again just before the homily. We ended up staying in the vestibule listening to the homily and Eucharistic prayer while I held her against me swaying and protecting her ears. Eventually she started adjusting to the volume of the space and was twirling to the offertory song. I coaxed her back to the pew to be with her 16 year old sister just before communion.

I heard just enough of the homily to know that one of the readings was the visitation. Mary’s strength was Trust in God and not having to know all the answers and stepping out in faith to accompany Christ in the hard things.

The beautiful thing is God our Creator knows you and your daughter intimately. He knows each of your challenges and limitations. He still calls you to himself.

As a mother, your vocation as a child of God, wife and mother are going to stretch us. Since we are called to sanctity, and we only have primary custody of ourselves and our actions, our mission, is to learn how to fulfill our vocation while maintaining peace and Joy.

I am the mother to six children, and have been mothering for 28 years while my husband works away as a ship captain 1/2-2/3 of the years. My first four were close in age and we homeschooled while I built my business.

I was often alone at Mass with children. Happily, I had some wise spiritual guidance from moms who had been on the path ahead of me.

We must prioritize filling ourself up in order to have the resilience to meet the demands that will predictably come at us in our day to day. What fills your soul with Joy? Are you able to find moments to pause for prayer throughout your day even if it’s listening to the USCCB free recording of the day’s readings on the way to Mass? Choosing a line of scripture from that day’s readings to toss about your mind as you go about your day is an easy way for an ADHD brain to absorb and apply scripture.

If I manage to read the readings before Mass I do not sweat it if I don’t catch all of the readings during Mass and all of the homily (though that’s ideal).

The standards for focus and attention and reverence we were raised with probably didn’t give grace to the neurodivergent influence. And even if we manage to get ourselves to “do things right”. We are charged with forming the little souls before us and model for them how loving Jesus is a beautiful grace and life-giving blessing.

Knowing that attending Mass with your child will not be ideal for resting in Jesus even when you remember all the tools, (water bottle, checklist, etc.), you must prioritize a different part of your day to fill up with Jesus so you can be Christ to her in her learning and growing moments.

In my experience living with ADHD, there never seems to be enough moments in the day for everything and everything seems super important. I have found when I prioritize my soul care, my time seems to multiply because I’m less likely to be scattered and frazzled.

The Missionaries to the Poor (St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s sisters) serve a large number of wretchedly sick and dying people with great joy and love. They are capable of sustaining that because their daily schedule includes mass, two separate holy hours, meals and tea time with their fellow sisters and some moments of free time for private reading or napping that are woven around their services they pour out to ‘the least of these’.

Soul care doesn’t have to be just prayer and meditation. It can be listening to uplifting music, arranging fresh flowers, savoring a favorite tea or coffee, talking a moment to put your bare feet in the grass, taking five extra minutes in the shower to thank God for the gift of running water and hair to wash, diffusing pure essential oils by the kitchen sink while doing the dishes, dancing to music while folding laundry and inviting your child to join the dance party while she learns to fold.

Some inspiring reading is the biography of St. Zélie Martin and St. Gianna Molla’s letters to her husband. A book that taught me to pray and make my service to my family part of my prayer was the book, The Vocation of Holy Motherhood. Another good one is Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Phillipe.

God already knows you’re going to be distracted and forget things. Your sense that you need stillness and filling up time with Jesus is spot on. It just will look different in this season of life.

Hugs mama. Filling your cup allows you to pour into others.

Dr. Bradley always said, “It’s not nice to fool mother nature.”
08/13/2024

Dr. Bradley always said, “It’s not nice to fool mother nature.”

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Grande Hills Estates
Bush, LA
70431

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