Tori Palliccia, LMFT

01/04/2026

Codependency is the need to be needed and is characterized by compulsive caregiving. It can show up as the need to save or rescue someone else, to spare them pain or consequences (enabling), and doing too much in ways that don’t allow others to do for themselves. It often includes difficulty with boundaries and the ability to say no without being riddled with guilt, and difficulty expressing what they need, want, or feel directly. Their needs often feel less important than other people’s, and that’s where resentment grows.

Codependent people often feel unappreciated and depleted because they’re hoping someone will notice how much they do and, in turn, see them and show up for them. They may be drawn to emotionally unavailable people, or relationships where they fall into familiar roles and patterns, often rooted in childhood.

Freedom from codependency comes with strong boundaries, investment in self, choosing healthy people, finding validation from within rather than externally, building a sense of worth outside of helping others, and being able to tell someone when their upset or hurt without letting it build up to a breaking point. This isn’t to say they shouldn’t help others; that’s a valuable part of who they are. It’s about knowing who to invest in, where the boundaries are, what drives the pattern, and what it costs them.

12/22/2025

There are so many people that show up for others and go above and beyond to make sure they’re taken care of, but quietly yearn for somebody to notice that they are struggling too. They need somebody to show up for them and say, don’t worry I got you. They need someone to see what’s underneath the smiles. They have a younger version of themselves that needed somebody to step in and rescue them, someone that can see their pain. They became what they needed because through other people they are saving themselves, but it’s not enough because though they gladly take care of everyone else, they don’t take care of themselves in the same loving way. You know you’re healing when you talk to yourself with the love and compassion that you so freely give to everyone else. When you can say, don’t worry, I got you, to yourself. The work is in reparenting oneself and being able to internalize the voice you needed to hear versus the voice you did hear. When you know and honor your own needs. relationships

12/17/2025

12/10/2025

Do you feel it? A feeling of exhaustion and burn out that makes everything feel a little heavier. I talk to a lot of people and have become aware of collective experiences that happen among us, and now there seems to be a collective burn out. A push to make it to the end of the year. It’s ok to not feel festive; it’s ok to not feel yourself; it’s ok to rest. Take care of yourself. Give yourself some down time and say no to plans if you don’t have it in you. Spend time with the people that lift you and stay away from those that drain you. There are things that can wait to the beginning of the year, allow for it. Things are heavy right now, you are not alone.

12/01/2025

When you constantly try to control, criticize and correct others, they can’t feel safe around you and will be left with a feeling of inadequacy. While we will look at what you deserve, we will also work on who you want to be in your relationships. If there are resentments that have built up that drive some of these behaviors, let’s work on it.

11/19/2025

When you approach someone with the story you’ve created on your mind, you automatically put them on the defense without truly knowing if your story is true. When you ask questions and approach with curiosity, it allows them to explain without the defensiveness so you can get the true story without feelings being ignited and starting a fight. Curiosity will save you from a lot of unnecessary drama.

10/21/2025

08/21/2025

I hope you can bring your walls down some day ❤️.

08/18/2025

What did you need growing up that you didn’t get? That’s still what you need.

08/15/2025

Were you conditioned to take the blame and apologize? Do you find yourself gaslighting yourself a lot? Are you drawn to people that make you question your reality? Do you take blame that isn’t yours? If so, your growth comes from learning to trust yourself and your truth, being able to sort out what’s yours to own and what’s not, and having really strong boundaries with people that try to mess with your mind. Work on rejecting that voice in your head that tries to rationalize other people’s sh*tty behavior and call it what it is.

08/11/2025

These are two of the most important things to have in a healthy relationship. How close can you let your partner get to you? How much do they know about the struggles you battle in your mind? What keeps you from sharing? How much security do feel? Do you know undoubtedly they are in to you or do you have to wonder because they are inconsistent? Do you know that they will have your back when you need it? Without these things, there will always be something missing. The truth is some people are perfectly OK with that so you have to decide what’s important to you in your dating and relationship life. And this isn’t just about romantic relationships, this is about friendships and family as well.

08/11/2025