The Elements Four

05/14/2023

04/25/2023

04/20/2023

What does thriving look like for me?

This was a question brought to me by my friend & client just the other day, & I must be honest, it has lingered within my mind ever since.

What does thriving look like for me? The whole concept of thriving can be a foreign one for those of us whom have suffered trauma throughout our lives…making this a difficult question to answer. We have lived in a constant state of survival, doing what was necessary to sustain ourselves within this world through consistent hyper activation…staying within the fight, flight, freeze, & fawn defense mechanisms while we work through each day one hour at a time & struggling along the way. The very idea of a life in which we can move out of surviving into thriving…true thriving…just doesn’t always seem possible.

I sat with this question for a long time, contemplating what thriving truly looked like to me…I mean, I had spent so much of my healing wanting to move into a space of thriving…but did I really know what that consisted of? Did I really know how thriving would show up in my life & within my world? Would I even be able to recognize what it means to live & thrive?

Strange thing, the more I investigated this question, the more I uncovered that I was in the MIDST of what thriving looked like for me…that my life, my world, had been shifting towards that state of being for some time now & I wasn’t fully aware of it! Sure, I have goals I am still wanting to reach & areas of my life I am still working through & healing…but I very much am within my vision of thriving!

As I continue along my healing journey, I see the different parts of my world growing & flourishing in a way I never thought possible at one point in my life. My business, though still moving slowly, is finally heading in the right direction…my anxiety behind its growth waning as I let go of my wounded ego & let my intuition be my guide…listening to my inner wisdom and understanding, & no longer second guessing the knowledge that is shared.

This is true in all parts of my life, actually…no longer feeling the urge to stay hidden away from the world but, instead, finally coming out of my shell & allowing for my light, my magic, my medicine to be seen, heard, & felt! No longer finding myself fixated on what others may think, say, or how they may react toward my truth…no longer wishing to live in a state where I compromise myself for the approval of others.

As I continue my healing journey, I find myself happily taking care of myself, putting myself first when it is necessary, showing myself love & compassion…finding myself happy within my life as it currently is, surrounded by the blessings that are always present. I actively push myself out of my comfort zone, no longer feeling paralyzed by fear at this very idea, but excited and ready to experience life and my sacred place within it…walking in this world with bold confidence & self-assurance…something I have always struggled with.

I can see, clearly, the way I have been releasing what no longer serves me…letting go of toxic behaviors, cycles, & energies…making room for more of the beautiful blessings that have always been around me, ever present in my life but remaining out of view as I lingered in the space of survival.

And now, now I find myself within awareness of the many different ways that I am not only healing along my journey, but also displaying my empowerment & truly thriving! And because of this I am beyond grateful that this question was brought to me…and now I bring it to all of you…what does thriving look like for you? Contemplate this question for a little while, you may be surprised with what you find.

04/17/2023

04/14/2023

wanted to take a moment to show some of the physical results from the hard work my client has done through the guidance I've been honored to provide...with her permission, of course lol.

I've worked with holistic healing medicine for years now, but recently I have put together a holistic healing program to provide deep and lasting guidance that helps one learn how to feel safe within their bodies, regain trust within their Intuition, and reclaim empowerment within every aspect of their lives.

All the guidance I provide I have utilized for myself after years of study and training...and I'm grateful for the chance to bring it forward for so many after all this time. Today, my client gave me an update on a physical result she has been seeing since following the guidance and doing the work for herself...and I couldn't be more excited for her!

Over the past year she has been struggling with a high resting heart rate, and the doctors themselves are stumped as to why it's happening and have just wanted to give her pills to see what would work. She didn't want to do that, which is understandable...who does? So, when I brought this to her she decided to take a chance and try it out...everything within the guidance plan is all natural holistic medicine, meditation, and body movements to help bring balance to one's body, mind, and soul...and she thought THAT was better then random pills from the doctor.

In less than 2 weeks of working with me this has been her results...a resting heart rate that is 10 points LOWER!! 10 FU***NG POINTS LOWER!!! My goodness!!! How fu***ng AMAZING is that!!! I couldn't be more excited for her as we've only just started...but she is DOING the work and SEEING results on such a major scale already!!! I cannot wait to hear and see what transpires after the program...and how it will continue to work for her as she takes these lessons and implements them into her every day life from here on out.

I'm so happy for her...I'm so happy she chose to do this work for herself and for the betterment of her health and wellness! 10 points lower already...man it's such a beautiful thing to see...I'm so fu***ng proud of her!

Thank you for trusting me to help guide you through this journey...but more than that, thank you for saying yes to you...you're worth it 💞

04/14/2023

Sacred Rest!

Healing from truama and lingering pain can take a toll on us...this is BIG work which means it uses a LOT of energy! This means that we can often find ourselves drained and in need of more rest so we can recharge ourselves and continue upon our paths.

Sadly, what happens for many of us is that we start to feel guilty for resting...guilty for listening to our bodies and doing what is needed for ourselves. This is due to the programming we have received that tells us rest is earned, and if you have not earned it then you are lazy some how.

This is untrue...the whole premise that we must earn our rest is asinine and insanely outdated. Resting only when you earn it causes burn out, deeper fatigue, more stress and anxiety, and can take a physical toll on your body causing chronic pain and an array of lasting medical issues.

Resting is NOT earned, my friends...resting is NECESSARY! We must rest to function properly, to recharge our batteries, and to heal our bodies! Rest is NEEDED to rejuvenate our senses, clear our mind, and bring us back into balance. Rest is ESSENTIAL and IMPERATIVE to our overall health and wellness in every possible way.

So, my friends, rest...rest when you need it, rest when your body, your mind, your spirit asks for it! Rest because you fu***ng want to! Just rest...it is a beautiful and sacred way to bring honor and love to yourself, and YOU are worth it!

04/05/2023

Our shadows can be our greatest teachers.

Do not shame, fight, hide, or ignore your shadows, they are aspects of yourself that were created out of necessity during some of the hardest times in our live. Our shadows can be our greatest teachers if we choose to listen and learn from what they are trying to tell us, which is, essentially, that they wish to protect us in the only way they know how.

Instead, give your shadows a safe space to be seen and expressed with loving tenderness and understandings. Listen to what they have to say, to the fear and worry that they express, knowing they are showing you the most vulnerable parts of your inner being that have been discarded for far too long.

Then, when you are ready, embrace your shadows and thank them for all they have shown you...for all the ways they tried to protect you. But then, with comfort and grace, let them know you are ready for a new way of being, a new way of living, a new way of thriving...and you will now lead the way.

04/05/2023

Healing takes a strong level of commitment & dedication to oneself, fully & completely no matter what one may find along the way.

It takes a level of courage & curiosity as you uncover the truths of your traumas that have been lingering within you for so very long…& a willingness to untangle the triggers that stem from these traumas & affect a verity of aspects within your everyday life.

When you walk this path, you find yourself diving into the depths of your shadows, exposing everything that laid hidden from awareness, every truth that was established in a space of denial…. Seeing not only what you’ve experienced but what you have made others experience as well, that can be a very difficult part.

This journey also brings with it a need for gentleness & compassion towards yourself that you, perhaps, have never been given before… understanding that many of these actions came from a wounded space of unresolved pain & only desired to do one thing…keep you safe.

Keep you safe from feeling pain, rejection, failure…from having to endure any more trauma & strife in your life. Because, as we untangle our triggers and sweep away our shadows, we see amid it all a small lingering light…a piece of our own light that cloaked itself within the darkness of these defense mechanisms out of fear & necessity for self-survival.

As we unveil this truth, this tiny part of ourselves requires a great deal of love & grace…providing a safe & caring space to be both expressed & to integrate with your current state of being…nurturing your entire being mind, body, & soul.

This is shadow work, true shadow work & expression of self-love that can be difficult but is so, so very worth it…because YOU are worth it!

04/05/2023

Anxiety & depression have been key players in my life for as long as I can remember…until I decided I was worthy of so much more!

I spent much of my childhood experiencing one trauma after another… kidnapping, abandonment, abuse & neglect, assaulted, sexualization, manipulation, & molested. As a child I was very reserved, quiet, to my own self…I was called shy but, in reality, I was retreating within my own mind as a form of survival, the feeling of safety and security a fleeting memory.

As a teenager I found myself rebelling against my parents, against my family as a whole…rejecting those that rejected me in a way only my young brain could understand. I looked for acceptance where I could find it, running towards red flags with arms wide open because they felt “normal” in comparison to my home life. I found myself around dangerous people immerged in dangerous situations…to afraid to say no as people pleasing became my game, a manifestation of an overactive nervous system keeping me within a state of fawning, even at my own expense. I just wanted to belong somewhere, be loved & valued by someone…not realizing this whole time that the someone I desired to love me so much needed to be ME.

As a young adult, fresh out of high school, I found myself jumping into abusive relationship after abusive relationship…my brain chemically dependent on the high of the mix of perceived adoration & explosive abuse that occurred, creating toxic trauma bonds that felt iron clad…that is, until I became pregnant with my eldest child. Something happened then, my head becoming clear in a way, & I left the current narcissistic/sociopathic relationship that I had felt trapped in. However, leaving was only one step…my mental, emotional, & physical being had been through so much & in desperate need of healing. Sadly, I didn’t realize this at the time…the constant state of anxiety, fear, panic, & rage I believed to be normal, after all it was displayed by members of my own family & they were “normal” too, right?

There were years within my adulthood I felt as if I were only on autopilot, my anxiety that gnawed at the pit of my stomach my only form of motivation. When my body couldn’t handle anymore, I went into a state of depression…my nervous system moving into hypoactivity in hopes to get my attention, but it didn’t. I was easily triggered & often flew into fits of anger over the smallest inconvenience, unaware of this all being a cause of unresolved trauma lingering deep within my body. I was in my 30s before I finally admitted to myself a change needed to happen…that this wasn’t normal at all & continuing this way was going to kill me if I didn’t do something now!

This was the first step…the first step to embracing my health & wellness (which has been an up & down hill battle to say the least). This was my first step towards FINALLY finding the acceptance & love I had always longed for was inside myself, realizing the one I wished to save me was already here within my very being, waiting for me too. I started slow, finding a therapist I could trust, learning all the tools I could & choosing to implement them at home (that is an important part, implementing the tools…it isn’t enough to just learn them, you must use them). I continued my journey, having always had a spark for holistic medicines & a passion for spirituality I looked toward these aspects to help me help myself 7 utilizing what I learned. I slowly built trust with myself, listening to my mind, body, & soul to find what worked best for me in my current situation. I was amazed with all I learned, with discovering what ancient eastern medicine folks had known for centuries & how they related to not only my mental & emotional wellbeing, but also how they bridged the gap between my body & soul….& for that I am eternally grateful!

It has taken years to get to where I am now, to feel safety within my body…safety that I have not felt for so long in my life! It has taken time, hard work, & dedication to myself to feel as confident, whole, & secure as I do now…to understand myself & my place in this world as I do now. There are no magic wands, no short cuts, no knights on white horses coming to save me, you, any of us…there is only ourselves. But thankfully, when we decide now is the time, when we decide that we are WORTHY of releasing the pain & trauma and doing the work to heal ourselves completely mind, body, & soul…there are guides & friendly hands to help us out of the darkness until we can discover our own light once more.

03/22/2023

03/13/2023