Misfit Mama Therapist

Misfit Mama Therapist I am a feral AF trauma therapist who helps hyper-independent women heal their sh*t through EMDR, Intensives, inner child, & parts work. Let's get untamed AF!

Sarcastic, compassionate AF, zero-fluff therapy—healing sucks less when you keep it real.

01/08/2026

Let’s clear something up real quick.

Anger is NOT always the problem.
Uncontained anger is.

For a lot of hyper-independent women, anger is the first honest signal your nervous system has had permission to send in years. It shows up when your boundaries are ignored, when you are overextended, when you are expected to stay quiet, pleasant, and grateful while swallowing the disrespect of your own limits.

That does not make you reactive.
It makes you aware.

Anger can be regulated.
Anger can be protective.
Anger can be information.

What is actually dysregulating is forcing yourself to stay calm while your body is screaming, “This is not f*cking okay.”

You are not too much.
You are finally listening to your body.

👉 Comment if this hit somewhere uncomfortable but true.

01/06/2026

Read this slowly.

Your anxiety, hypervigilance, shutdown, people-pleasing, overthinking, control issues, and emotional whiplash are not character flaws.

They are learned responses from a system that had to stay alert to survive.

If you grew up walking on eggshells, managing other people’s moods, being the strong one, or figuring s**t out way too early, your nervous system did exactly what it was supposed to do.

It learned speed.
It learned scanning.
It learned bracing.

The problem is not that your system is broken.
The problem is that it never got the memo that the environment changed.

Healing is not about fixing yourself.
It is about teaching your body that safety exists now.

If this hit a nerve, comment which survival skill your body learned first:

✨ Hyper-vigilance, always scanning for danger
✨ Emotional shutdown, feeling nothing to survive everything
✨ Over-functioning, doing it all so no one else has to
✨ People-pleasing, staying safe by staying agreeable
✨ Control, because unpredictability was not an option

01/01/2026

If this made your jaw tighten, good. That reaction makes sense.

Being the “mature one” did not mean you were emotionally advanced. It meant you learned early that your needs came last. You learned to read rooms, manage adults, swallow reactions, and stay composed because falling apart was not a safe option.

That level of self-control is not impressive. It is expensive AF!

Hyper-independent women are not born calm. They are trained to be low maintenance, emotionally convenient, and unfazed, so nobody has to take care of them.

And now people praise your strength while your nervous system is exhausted from decades of holding it together.

So yeah, if this pi**ed you off, you are not dramatic. You are finally noticing what you lost while everyone was busy calling you “so mature.”

👉 Comment “noted” if this said more than you were planning to think about today.

12/30/2025

Let me say the quiet part out fu***ng loud.

Being “the bigger person” usually means you ignored your own boundaries, regulated everyone else’s feelings, and called it “maturity” so you didn’t feel like you were the problem.

Hyper-independent women were trained to do this s**t early.
Keep the peace. Do not rock the boat. Be understanding. Be flexible. Be fine.

But every time you override your body to make someone else comfortable, you teach your nervous system that your needs come last. And we are done settling for that s**t!

That is not emotional maturity.
That is self-abandonment with good PR.

You are allowed to be done swallowing your fu***ng truth.
You are allowed to stop performing calm while you rot inside.
You are allowed to choose yourself without explaining it like a court case.

If this hit, it is because you have outgrown the role of emotional cleanup crew.

👉 Share this with the woman who keeps being “the bigger person” and is tired AF because of it.

12/26/2025

Some therapy truths sound absolutely unhinged the first time you hear them.

Like when someone tells you that rest can trigger panic, or that calm can feel threatening, or that you keep choosing chaos because it feels familiar, not because you love suffering.

And your first thought is usually,
“No, that cannot be right.”

Until one random Tuesday, it clicks, and you realize,
“Oh… that is exactly what I have been doing.”

Healing does not always sound comforting at first.
Sometimes it sounds confrontational because it is naming patterns you survived by.

If you have ever heard a therapy truth that pi**ed you off before it helped you, I want to hear it.

👇 Comment on the one that wrecked you the most.

12/24/2025

Hyper-independent women are not dramatic.
We are fu***ng exhausted.

We did not wake up wired for intensity.
We were trained into it by inconsistency, emotional labor, and learning early that if we did not stay alert, s**t fell apart.

So when someone tells you to “calm down,” what they are really saying is:
“Please regulate yourself so I do not have to sit with your reality.”

Here is the reframe you actually need:
Your nervous system is not broken.
It is overworked.

Calm is not the starting point for people like us.
Safety is.

And safety comes from being supported, believed, and not doing everything alone anymore, including the mental load of carry everything.

If this hit a nerve, good.
That means you are waking up to the lie that you were ever the problem.

👉 Share this with the woman who has been told to just rest when what she really needs is fu***ng backup.

12/18/2025

If this feels familiar, I want you to hear me clearly.

You are not wise beyond your years.
You are not unusually strong.
You are not broken for feeling tired already.
You adapted. Fast. Early. Efficiently.

You learned how to read rooms, manage emotions, stay useful, stay small, stay ahead of disappointment. That kept you safe once. It makes sense.

But survival skills are not meant to be lifelong identities.

You do not have to wait until your body forces you to stop.
You are allowed to learn softness before burnout teaches it the hard way.

If this hit, share it.
Someone else is quietly carrying way too much, way too young.

12/16/2025

Some people think therapists are immune to losing their s**t.
I promise you, we sure as f*ck are not.

Emotional regulation is not something you are born good at.
It is not a moral achievement.
It is a skill you practice on the days your nervous system wants to burn the whole place down over something small and stupid.

Healing does not mean you stop spiraling.
It means you catch it faster.
You pause sooner.
You repair instead of shame spiraling for three days straight.

So if you are sitting there thinking, “I am bad at healing because I still get overwhelmed,” let me lovingly call bulls**t.

You are human.
You are aware.
You are practicing.

And that counts more than pretending you are fine.

Comment if this hit a little too close to home.

12/11/2025

Often times it’s assume therapists are emotionally regulated 24:7, meanwhile I am over here getting taken out by my air fryer at 8:15 in the f*cking morning like it is a personal attack.

Truth bomb:
Regulation is not a default setting.
It is something you practice over and over again, especially on the days when your nervous system is like, “Absolutely f*cking not.”

If you still get overwhelmed, shut down, snap, or crash out at inconvenient times, that does not mean you failed or you’re a failure. It means your nervous system is doing its job and you are learning how to work with it instead of against it.

Regulation is not perfection.
It is awareness, choice, and a f*ck ton of grace…. messy AF grace.
You are not broken, you are a badass human.

👉 If your nervous system is exhausted and you want support that actually understands that, book a consultation. Link in bio.

12/05/2025

Let’s be so f*cking for real: half the lessons I share ones I needed tattooed on my damn forehead.

Healing is not a finish line. It is not a glow-up era. It is not a neat little transformation montage where everything gets wrapped in a pretty bow at the end.

It is me, you, and every other hyper-independent woman out here doing the emotional equivalent of trying to assemble IKEA furniture without any damn instructions.

Some days I am wise and regulated.
Some days I am still feral AF and fighting the urge to burn it all to the ground.

Healing is ongoing.
Healing is layered.
Healing is the part where you realize your brain has been running outdated survival software and you have to update it in real time, while still living your life, paying bills, dealing with people, and not losing your s**t at Target. (This may or may not be a real life experience 🫣)

So if you ever catch yourself thinking, “Damn, why am I still dealing with this,” please know you’re not alone and a therapist somewhere might be whispering the same thing to herself.

You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are not supposed to have it all figured out.
You are healing while living, which is the hardest f*cking way to do it, and you are still doing it like the badass you are!

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33904, 33909, 33914, 33990, 33991, 33993

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My Story

Hey Mama!

My name is Jessica Rae, but I go by Jess.

I’ve been a single mama since I was 19, life definitely threw us some curve balls.

I’m also a tell it like it is, Mental Wellness, mindset empowered kinda chick with a sailor’s mouth.