Michelle Ives Kaspari

05/02/2026

More will be revealed.

What a day yesterday. As I continued with the topic of Spirituality at ND, more was revealed within myself and the women from yesterday's session.

They say in recovery, that completion of the 12 Steps brings you a Spiritual Awakening. For many, myself included, this kept me curious as I did the deep internal dive through the work. What exactly was I going to be awkakened to?

For me, it allowed me to find self love and compassion as I delicately unraveled tightly wrapped chords around my heart. Some I'd tied myself and some from others. When the heart is so tightly bound, we doubt what feels right.....

What astrologers said: 'A "Personal Life Reset" (Final Stages): With Saturn having left Pisces earlier in 2026 (Feb/March), and with the Full Moon in Scorpio on May 1, 2026, you are experiencing the final clearing of emotional baggage, allowing you to establish stronger, more practical boundaries and a more defined identity.'

🙏✨️💞🙏

Yesterday felt lighter for me. Even when I was in direct line of my past. I stood in my current truth with integrity. My life today, feels RIGHT! It's taken bold and courageous decisions to get here, but I am someplace completely different than ever before. A place where I an finally trusting my intuition, no more second guessing the 'pings'.....

As the day winded down two things happened.

1. I was awarded a spot in the traning! ✨️
2. I was given an opportunity to stand tall, without doubt that my HP has my back.

More will continue to be revealed. My spiritual awakening from completing the 12-Steps brought me here. Tonight's a place where after last night, can leave doubt behind. I was shown yesterday, exactly why I'm on this journey.

Training starts May 11th and from there who knows where it will take me. The door is open into unlimited possibilities. Thank you for this life! Fulfilling and unbounded in my heart space ♥️

Happy Saturday!

04/29/2026

Powerless.

The irony in becoming powerless. It gives us power to fully and completely let go of expectations of how we want things to be. It's the gripping and holding on that causes the insanity.

Step #1 in recovery asks us about our ability and willingness to become powerless. It's the beginning of witnessing how tightly we hold onto anything given experience. It's that hold that dictates our feelings. Fear is usually the first one that arises.

What happens if I let go? Our internal voice says it's safer to hold on and worry than to let go and.feel free. The turning over to something else to hold for us is a concept many resist.

Yesterday's interview for an amazing opportunity went well. In the past, I'd hold on tightly, barely breathing, until I had an answer. It's a numbers game, they have 3x the amount of applicants as they have openings. Results will be delivered Friday at 4pm, so the waiting begins.

This is where I choose powerlessness.

Embracing that I have no control gives me power to live freely between now and then. I've wasted many hours, days, months, and years worrying about 'what if's'. Life keeps moving and fear has paralyzed me. Not anymore.

The reward? Emotional Freedom. Who doesn't want that?

As I let the unknown be yesterday, more opportunities opened up!! Not only was I offered another location for the group Coaching sessions, they want them to be weekly sessions vs. every other as they are currently in other locations. ✨️

Since I've been on this solo journey, I've obsessively worried about how I'm going to make it. Bridging the gap between living in my purpose and being financially stable didnt seem possible....until now.

Becoming powerless was the answer all along. My efforts were always there, but so was an overpowering amount of worry and fear.

Let go.and let.God [insert your HP of choice] 🙏

04/28/2026

Evolving.

The pandemic in 2020, peaked my need to numb and escape from reality. Everything I'd been building career wise was ripped away. Isolation took it's toll on me, just like it did for many of you. I was left with hours of being in my mind and at that time was a scary place to be - real, but I avoided it as much as I could.

Looking back at photos then, I was exhausted - emotionally. I'd been running from intense feelings for way to long.

Deciding to take a different path was bold and full of uncertainty. Oddly enough, the decision to begin a 12-step program was very clear. I knew the path ahead was going to be challenging and in order to make it through, I needed to remove what kept distracting me all along - 🌿

The journey has been emotionally intense. I've had to learn to sit with really uncomfortable feelings. What kept me showing up for my recovery was a slow but fruitful connection with my Higher Power.

It always was and continues to, show me the way. I may not understand the direction she's got me heading towards, or love the closing of doors along the way, but I do see from reflecting back she's ALWAYS got my best interest at hand. 🕊

Taking another leap of faith today, trusting that if it's meant to be it will. No more chasing or forcing in life - that's how we evolve. Being IN the flow, not working against it. ✨️

Early morning reflection. 💞

04/25/2026

Love me when it's hard....

Life seems to be this ebb and flow of leaning in and out from oneself. My teachings lately have been centered around discernment, unraveling, and feeling aligned. Personally, spaces within myself that seem to be easier to practice than ever before.....

Our individual journey is full of fluctuations. We're conditioned by each experience we encounter and move through. The hard part is to lean into the uncomfortable moments. That's where we can be discerning in the depth of the unraveling so that we feel more aligned on the other side.

As one more layer of my life seems to be aligning there is still one that isn't. In working with a new therapist recently, she validated how difficult my journey has been. The obstacles I've overcome so far still at times weigh heavy on my heart.

This is where I lean in.

Learning to overcome old mindsets that kept me stuck in fear. I still have fear. I've shown myself that I can overcome it by leaning, not numbing or running away from it anymore. I can't change anything I'm not willing to witness internally.

It can be painful and freeing at the same time.

Maybe it's me who needs to love myself when its hard? Maybe that's what we all need 🙏

2am reflection 💞

-study

04/19/2026

How quickly they steal your ♥️

Trying not to flood my feed with pictures of my new little one Kali. Today in attempt to escape from her crate, she bent the door back in towards her and I had a heck of a time getting her out 🤦‍♀️

Last week Treatment center sessions was Relationships. We discussed what making amends would feel like and how important it is to strengthen the relationship with ourselves first and foremost.

Kali is teaching me how important forgiveness is. She's showing me how to find patience and understanding of her 1 year old needs. She's also igniting in me all the work I've been doing on my mindset. Rejection is redirection - for all of our relationships.

I guided groups last week by ways of personal experience. Everytime I've been rejected in a relationship and I redirect myself into self-care and self-study, I've come out stronger on the other side. ✨️

Preparing for the week ahead.
More lessons and more opportunities to grow 🙌

Happy Sunday ☀️

04/16/2026

Kali.

I named her after the Goddess. She seems a little fierce and I think her name is going to suit her well.

She was supposed to come home with me today but her surgery to get spayed was postponed, so she won't be free from the shelter until Friday. It was hard to visit and leave her. The shelters are overcrowded and you can see and feel their stressed out little minds.

Recovery reminds me.to ask for serenity for the things I cannot change - the postponed surgery.

The courage to change the things I can - my accepting that it's actually better for her to come home Friday. My schedule that day allows me to just be with her in a new space, allowing her to settle in without me coming and going for work.

The wisdom to know the difference. 🤷‍♀️

I was angry at first, the system is faulted and these animals are paying the price.

Anger turned into disappointment. I want so badly for her to feel loved and safe ASAP.

Disappointment turned into accepting the process. Another day and she'll be in her forever home, it cant be communicated, rather felt.

As I spent a little time assuring her again I'd be back to take her home, she sat and just looked at me 😭. I already known she is going to teach me a lot while raising her. She already is 💞

More will be revealed.

04/11/2026

Change.

The easy thing to do is stay in a mundane routine. Change is inevitable, yet so many of us resist it.

A couple years ago I painted my bedroom light pink. It was a sporaric choice that never really settled with my mind. I kept telling myself it was a color my inner child picked and when it was time to change it I'd know.

I've been feeling an internal shift the last few weeks. My inner gaze has been observing various aspects of my life: past, present, and future. An acknowledging of things I'm still holding onto even though all signs say CHANGE. An observation of how fear is keeping me from future endeavors.

Life in recovery reminds me, just for today.

One way I move through fear is to be creative. It's a place I allow myself to experiment with no harsh rules or expectations of how things should end up. There's a level of self expression that reminds me how capable I am.

Sooooo - the past two days I've been painting and re-purposing things in my home. It was finally time for change. ✨️

What about you?

Where in your life would you like to see change but are afraid to take that first step?

What can you do to ease the process?

Enjoying time in my new space while Mother Nature validates change this weekend 🙌

Saturday afternoon reflection 💞

04/05/2026

04/03/2026

They say we cant keep what we have unless we give it away.....

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I've spoken at meetings before but never like this. 3pm on 4/3 ✨️ I'll be speaking at the Northen California Convention for Narcotics Anonymous, a topic meetings, on Step #8 : Making the list and owning the harm we caused.

I never imagined I'd be in this space - in a 12 Step Program, admitting to others the harm I've caused to others, let alone speaking at a Convention about it.

What I do know is that we've all hurt people on some level. I also know that most people avoid or disregard it. Recovery has taught me that hurt people, hurt people. I've taken that piece along with shame and guilt and applied it as best I can in my life.

I've made some amends, not all of them. There is still healing to do. Until that healing has been taken under my wing and nurtured, it's not time yet, and that's ok. We all heal at different places.

Currently feeling all the feels: excited, anxious, reflective, and grateful 🙏

Here's to delivering a message of strength and hope. See u behind the podium 🎤