05/09/2024
Anger & Grief ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
Healing is not always a linear journey, anger and grief are common companions along the way. Nobody talks about how you grieve your old life, when your entire universe has been ripped to shreds. What it's like to feel the insanity of hurdling through space and time untethered and you are flying around hoping someone grabs the strings and pulls you back down.
Nobody talks about all the times you had to stand there and say," I promise I am still in here, I just can't find her". The times you've thrown yourself on the bed and bicycle kicked the air out of frustration, or the times you would jump up and down like a child pleading to God to take you, or the time you are crawling on the floor asking for help, but nothing is satisfying you.
Walking and pacing, day in day out, and your eyes look like a deer in headlights. I can't control any part of my body. My legs, ears, and face are on fire, it feels as though bees are stinging me all over. The hot water being poured on my brain that I can not wipe away. I would say to myself one minute at a time, if you must, you have to keep pushing. The days turned into weeks, months, and years.
Anger and grief are a basic human emotions and I have to learned on this journey that you will hit walls and blocks that you cannot breathe or even push through. I simply had to step back and feel it. Remembering your anger and grief are valid and deserving of your attention. The rage you feel when you lost years to suffering and the absolute disgust you feel towards the ones that mishandled you.
Sometimes you feel healed and then it just hits you all over again. They do say that time heals all wounds, there is no time limit, and it is learning how to turn your grief into purpose. Turning grief into a badge of honor in your character.
Grief can be a transformative force, shaping you into an updated version of yourself. With metamorphosis, your interests, values, and outlook on life change. You gain a more profound understanding of what truly matters in life. Embrace this change as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Grieve all the versions of you that fell, and never got back up.
WE HEAL!
xoxo Stephanie ♥
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