12/20/2021
I love getting my clients birth stories❤️❤️❤️
✨BIRTH STORY✨
When I thought about writing my birth story I looked at others and saw how positive and happy their experiences were and I thought “mine isn’t like that,” so then I just decided to never share my own. But, over the last year (tomorrow) I have come to realize that not everyone experiences a “beautiful birth” in the same way, and that’s okay.
I had many plans and hopes for how my daughter’s birth would go. I knew I wanted to give natural birth to feel empowered, and to have a spiritual experience where I would be challenged to rely on God in the hard moments. I wanted to push my mind and body to a place it’s never been. I wanted all of this in an environment where I’d feel most comfortable; so I planned to give birth at a birthing center in Nashville. I was so excited to have a comfy bed to labor in and a bath tub where I would have my dream water birth. Even a kitchen for mid labor snacks and a beautiful outside area to be able to walk around and get fresh air sounded absolutely wonderful.
Unfortunately, this plan didn’t play out because I went to 42 weeks pregnant and “risked” out of my birthing centers’ care - and sadly had to be scheduled to be induced in the hospital. To most, this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but to those who plan for out of hospital births, it’s a really big deal.
So much fear came with this. I am a person who hates plans being changed. Going from the plan of having my dream birth experience to a cold hospital room and the unexpected, absolutely scared me. Getting induced gave me fear because I’d heard and read others’ experiences where the induction medication can actually make contractions even more intense.
Saturday, December 19th, 2020 I was scheduled for my induction. Once I got there we were put in a small hospital room. Trying to keep a positive mind we just went with the flow and continued in prayer for an open mind and an amazing experience.
They started me with a pill to induce labor and planned on 3 of those pills and then we would start pitocin. We relaxed that night and watched movies and slept.
The next morning, Sunday, December 20, 2020. Things were still going slow so they gave me my second pill. We watched Christmas movies and relaxed and rested as much as possible! Around 10am I started to feel the contractions but they were mild. I had mild contractions throughout the day and then my water broke around 5pm. I was so happy it broke on it’s own. Answered prayer because I was nervous about them having to break my water. At this point I was at 4cm and me and Austin danced with happiness everytime that number went up!! Around 8pm I started to have intense contractions and texted my amazing doula Kaylyn to head to the hospital. I requested to be able to labor in the shower and another answered prayer, they let me!! This was life changing. The water helped me so much. Kaylyn got there just in time because I really needed her guidance. We did squats in the shower for about 15 minutes and then they came in asking for me to get out and be monitored again. I was so sad to leave that water!!
I labored in the hospital bed for 45 minutes and then they came in and gave me a portable monitor!!! This meant I could walk around. Bounce on a ball. Squat. Dance. Shower. And I did all of those things.
Once again, God heard me. He gave me the ability to move around like I wanted. Austin turned on some Worship music and I just remember slow dancing with him and then squatting when I felt a contraction coming. He whispered encouragement in my ear, rubbed a ball on my back, did endless amounts of hip compressions. He was a rockstar and so perfect through all of it.
When they came in to check my dilation I was a 7. This is when things began to get very hard. Hearing I was only a 7 discouraged me. How am I going to do this for hours longer? I was having contractions with only 30-45 seconds in between to regain the energy and strength I needed for the next one. I was tired, in pain, and scared of those next contractions. My doula looked at me and told me how amazing I was doing and encouraged me that I was almost there. I heard her. But I was still struggling. I grabbed Austin to do more squats and I prayed out loud with the little energy I had and said, “GOD, please get me from a 7 to a 10 quickly, Lord.” And kept saying “God, I need you.” Over and over.
This brought my mind back to where it needed to be. That I am strong. I am able. I can do all things. I fought through those next contractions. Keeping myself busy with different positions, bouncing on the birth ball, holding on to cabinets and squatting as low as I could and holding it. Praying they were working and bringing sweet Romee down and down.
40 minutes later I was sitting on the birth ball leaning into a pillow to silence my loud noises as best as I could and I felt my body push. This moment I knew. She was coming. I looked at Kaylyn and told her, “I’m pushing I’m pushing!” Her eyes got big. She called in nurses and told them and they got me up on the bed. My body continued to push on its own. God heard me once again. He got me from a 7 to a 10 and pushing in an hour.
The nurses came in and told me the doctor would be a minute. I remember thinking, “Doctor here or not I’m having this baby right now!” The nurses tried telling me not to push and to hold it in. I argued, telling them I couldn’t stop my body from pushing. I had no control. They had me push for 2 seconds and then force my body to stop until the doctor arrived. This was traumatizing for me because I was ready and Romee was ready. My BODY was ready. But I was on someone else’s time. I remember saying out loud “Someone who is supposed to be here right now isn’t here,” and right as I’m saying that, in walks the doctor. I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my life. I got in the position I wanted to birth and pushed twice and as they said “She came flying out!” Romee Rose Pate was born on December 21st at 1:30 am.
I grabbed my baby and held her so close. The first thing I said to her was, “Your little ears. I love your little ears.” Her daddy right by my side with tears in his eyes and looking into mine with pure love and relief of his own. She is and was gorgeous and worth every hour of pain.
Austin and I had a conversation before going to the hospital. Him knowing how I was so upset that I didn’t get to birth where I wanted. We talked about how Mary gave birth to Jesus and it wasn’t what she wanted, I’m sure. She didn’t want to give birth at a stranger’s house or a stable and lay her baby in a manger. I’m sure she had her own plans of how she wanted it to go. But in the end.. a child was born!!! That is what matters.
God answered all of my prayers. He gave me a fast labor. A portable monitor to be able to be in the water. An amazing husband that slow danced with me and made me feel beautiful and strong, who encouraged me and had faith in me when I didn’t have faith in myself. He gave me Kaylyn to also encourage me and help me with things I wouldn’t be able to think of (like a million squats) and a tennis ball on my back to relieve pressure. The, “Good job Selby,” she said to me throughout helped me more than she knows.
God had a plan all along. Was it what I wanted? No. Did it go how I had planned? No. But I got all the things I wanted out of it. I was empowered!! I felt my body do amazing things!! I leaned on God and trusted in Him. I praised Him through it all!! I felt his presence in that hospital room. I grew closer with Austin and fell even more in love with him. I loved myself more knowing how incredible and strong I am!! And the best of it all is I got to hold that precious baby girl at the end of all of it and say, “This was worth it” and “I will do this again.”
The reward of all of that hard work was our sweet Romee who turns 1 tomorrow. I want her to know her story! I will always share it with her because it shows God’s grace, God’s power, God’s presence, and his great love for his children!
