01/01/2025
I wrote this a couple of months ago, I have sat down multiple times to send this but was too hard to press post, and you’ll read why in a second. I need to stop procrastinating about it now for the New Year.
Saturday October 26th
So here I sit with my loyal and constant companion of 13 years, lying next to me at the kitchen table. She is sleeping peacefully hopefully dreaming of all the people in her life that love her, besides her family, and patients at the office, dreaming of her favorite person “her boy” my son that rescued her from “the Buddy Center” (local Dumb Friends League) when she was maybe 6 months old. I didn’t think she was a good choice but he fell in love with her immediately (that’s a whole other story about our first meeting Zelda)
Besides her family at home she had an Office Family since she went with me to the office me virtually every day for 13 years. In that time Zelda greeted and welcomed thousands of people having to smell each one of them. People thought she wanted to be petted which she was shy of at first, what she really wanted was to see if they were dog or cat people. I think for many patients she was a therapy dog too. Many people being reminded of a loyal loving pet they have had and lost years before. That experience letting them relive or remember that feeling of unconditional love and caring that they had once with their own pet.
With my son Jon (now 25) coming by this morning to watch her while I was gone to a morning seminar, he had a chance to have a good day with her. I think during that time he just sat with Zelda in the house and then at her favorite spot in the yard for 4 to 5 hours, just he and her hopefully sharing stories of fun and adventure that they had growing up together over the years.
Sadly, for the last few weeks, her health had an unfair turn and developed a strange head tilt to the left. She was unsteady walking, a loss of hearing and diminished vision along with some sudden falls. With multiple trips to the vet and different medications, she continued to worsen, a brain tumor two vets suggested. It's heartbreaking when her boy or office friends would come by and she's so happy to see them but struggled to get her body up.
She still eats and drinks well and makes it outside okay although more often. At times she does well with me on our daily morning walk and sometimes she wonders off confused where to go. I've been trying to do my best to care for her even at all hours of the night. Having to carry in and out of the door and up and down the steps. I can do that as long as I need to, but the other day she was lying by my desk and she had such tiredness in her eyes and some sadness it seemed. Which makes me question, am I doing the right thing ? Am I avoiding the inevitable for me or for her?
She is still peacefully sleeping, not knowing that in less than 20 hours, the vet is coming to put a peaceful end to her suffering, I pray that it is the right choice. I'm afraid that my suffering and sadness is just starting. She has always been such a happy and willing pup. She probably saved my life by getting me out and walking and exercising. I started walking her every morning when she was a pup just to tire her out a little bit before going to the office. Always willing to go for a walk or to the office or ride in the car. If I left her at home when I went to the grocery store or somewhere she would pout when I left and lay down very hard on the tile in a heap to protest being left at home. When I would get home I would often catch her lying on the couch with her head on my pillow, fair game because you left me I am sure is how she felt. I would gladly give anything to have her healthy and sleeping on the couch again.
She would lay in the yard for hours, keeping an eye on the property keeping us safe and on the lookout for deer, turkeys and the occasional coyotes. She even took a rattlesnake strike to the nose one day when she was on duty as I referred to her as a ranch dog, we about lost her that day also.
So what do you do in the last 20 hours ? There’s not enough time for me or energy for her. What do you say on that last walk ? or do in those last hours ?
As far as I'm concerned she's been the best girl ever. Thank you Zelda for the unconditional love and being an emotional support companion and always being there for me in an often chaotic life.
Hopefully it was a good for you too, I tried. We say that you were a rescue but I think in reality you rescued us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zelda passed peacefully in her sleep Sunday afternoon October 27th at home with myself, my Son Jon and Zelda’s two cats Sabrina and Domino by her side. Also Jon’s Fiancée loved on her a few hours earlier in the day.
She spent her last few days visited by friends and family, being pampered, snacking on treats and freshly cooked cheese covered bacon. She really was the best girl ever and loved being our Office Greeter.
1/1/2025
Since that day many patients, friends and neighbors have expressed their condolences and sadness also. And with more than a few patients we have shared a few tears together over Zelda loss. Many patients have shared their stories to me of their beloved pets that they have had to say good bye to also. I am not sure if they are trying to comfort me or just have their story heard by someone that knows their pain. Probably a bit of both.
No it is not the same around the office or my home without her but we are carrying on. People keep asking me if I am going to get another dog ? I am not sure yet. I don’t know if I have the energy for a puppy and a dog is a great companion but a long commitment.
Rather than ending this with sadness I wanted to share a video that popped up on my FB Memories recently. Zelda and her favorite person, my son Jon, playing around 9 years ago.
