Born and raised an Iowa girl, I proudly call the Midwest home. On my first day of kindergarten, after taking one look at that dark haired, blue-eyed boy, I began singing, my “I’m going to marry Monte” song.
Twenty years later…I did. Another 27 years by his side, the best advice I have:
Support each other’s dreams to the greatest extent possible while staying true to yourself.
Family has played a central role in my life, from growing up 12th of 13 kids in a loving family to raising our three amazing kids and international exchange daughters.
There is no greater joy as a mother than to see our children move into their own lives with both deep roots and strong wings.
The daughter of an English teacher, I grew up a voracious learner encouraged to read and write. As long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by humans, especially our potential to grow through challenges in ways that transform us. I also am a passionate justice seeker, doing my best to alleviate suffering and right perceived wrongs. These three threads explain a lot about my life path…
After witnessing a great injustice as a teenager, I decided to become a lawyer. I graduated college valedictorian, lived in Ireland for a year as a Rotary International Scholar, and attended Iowa Law School, where I was a Law Review editor and graduated with high distinction.
I started my legal career clerking for Judge Max Rosenn of the U.S. Third Circuit Court of Appeals. I later wrote a ‘love story’ about this extraordinary servant leader, Walking with Justice: Uncommon Lessons from One of Life’s Greatest Mentors, which my friend Bob Burg calls “a timeless handbook for being human.” Love lives on.
When Iowa called us back home, I followed my fascination with humans through a Masters and Doctorate in Personality and Social Psychology, where I graduated top of my class, published journal articles, and was recognized as the most promising future researcher.
Still love to get my research geek on! Despite the alphabet soup behind my name, my greatest breakthroughs come as much from what I unlearn, as what I learn. Stay curious and keep an open mind.
As a psychologist, I taught at university, directed a survey research institute, founded a jury consulting and mediation firm, and stepped deeply into performance psychology for over a decade, coaching competitive athletes up to Olympic and world levels. My consulting expanded to corporate athletes, and I co-authored a couple business books, including The 12 Factors of Business Success.
Being a psychologist gives me a front row seat to the damage done when our basic human needs to feel safe, belong, grow, and contribute are not met. It broke my heart to see our community tragically lose three teens to su***de with many more children at risk.
I began volunteering full-time to stop the loss of young lives and founded the Community Resiliency Project. Based on vast unmet needs, this work grew into the National Resilience Institute, a nonprofit that provides research-based tools to equip helpers to grow resilience in young people, military, and post-crisis communities.
As Institute CEO, I’ve directed five national Resilience Summits and an international research symposium. I host the Resiliency Matters television show on Mediacom and frequently train in the areas of preparedness, resilience building, trauma recovery, and leadership. My THRIVE Resilience Model™ is used by resilience pioneers around the world to advance their work to strengthen others.
Every person has a unique voice, and it’s best found through service to others. Having trouble finding your place in the world? Ask what breaks your heart…and then take a step toward doing something about it.
Really, take that first step. Then sense your next best step. And next best step. Sense, respond…and keep on walking forward in service to others. As my life shows, you just never know where this will take you.
I’ve been a quote ju**ie since my Mom shared this gem by Erma Bombeck with me as a little girl: “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’” A current favorite by Ram Dass: “We’re all just walking each other home.”
No matter what religion you do or don’t practice, any path to wholeness nourishes mind, body, and spirit. The research supports this. Just as important to me are personal moments of transcendence, from ushering a new life to earth as a doula, to being with my dad in his last days of life to riding an elephant ba****ck as he fed on the Thai forest and cooled himself in a mud bath.
A whole life is a joy filled life. Find what lights you up and do more of it.
Today, I am wholeheartedly grateful to be doing work I love while distilling lessons from my most recent great life teacher…a successful battle with cancer. Early detection saves lives. Join me in relentlessly calling out any voice that tries to masquerade wise self-care as selfishness. It is not.
If you’re still reading, thank you. I hope that this introduction starts a conversation, and I want to learn more about you. The best way to stay connected is to join our Wholemaker community.
I see fellow Wholemakers as friends, and I love sharing resources to help you thrive and grow strength in others. From stories of home such as my recent cancer journey to those that take us around the world with humanitarian work, I share with the desire to help you on your life journey.
Let Maya Angelou’s wisdom inspire our lives…
Plus you’ll get an awe inspiring (and free) Grow Your Resilience Mindset: 6 Strategies to Thrive through Adversity video training as soon as you subscribe.
This package includes conversations with a Holocaust survivor and with an award winning humanitarian who reconnected to her life purpose after a freak accident left her quadriplegic. It comes with a Resilience Mindset: Daily Reminders poster.
Can’t wait for you to watch.
Although a tragic loss can drastically change us, it does not need to lessen us.
So grateful we’re connected and I am looking forward to our journey ahead.
Much love,
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