A Beautifully Broken Life.

01/25/2026

Or the very real reality of having to say goodbye one day.

01/14/2026

Today we did a video appt with the anesthesia clinic to discuss our 15th surgery at the end of the month. Just another this our life moment.

01/11/2026

Mama got away for the night to the beach and came back to a kiddo with 105 fever. She likes to get sick when I go away. Thank goodness she has somebody who loves her like her own and takes care of her. It’s nice to know my daughter is taken care of no matter what.

01/09/2026

01/04/2026

Those damn meds. I curse them every morning. We are down to only a few in the am yet I still hate doing them Its not hard so I don’t know why I hate it so much.

12/31/2025

The first one is what I need to do the most.

12/23/2025

Laying in bed. I hear the princess laughing at the tv and it makes my heart happy. I cannot put into words how much I love this kid.

12/18/2025

I’m a pro

12/16/2025

Fitting that today the princess turned 15 and I just got a call to schedule surgery number 15

12/16/2025

15yrs ago the princess dad kissed my belly and told her he couldn’t wait to meet her. She kicked him in the mouth. We knew she was going to be amazing.

Happy birthday to the most amazing person I know. You have changed my life for the better. I hope you have the best day. I am so lucky I get to be your mom.

12/16/2025

This !!

12/14/2025

For 15th birthday we did a small family joint party with my brother. It was fun and a great time. Night ends and everything goes home then it is just me and Ella. She got overwhelmed so wanted to go to stretch out in bed. Then is sobbing in bed because she didn’t want people to leave. Mom is crying on the couch with mom guilty. I want to fix everything for her. I want to make it so a little party isn’t so overwhelming. I want her to be able to open her own gifts. I want to be able to give her the world . Yet I never know what to get her. I want to be able to give her a huge swimming party every year. I want to make her so happy to make up for how hard her life is.

I know I’m supposed to be happy with my life. Supposed to be glad I still have her but really it’s hard. I want so much for her. I want things to be easier for her.

I post pictures of our fun times but can’t tell you how many times I hide afterwards crying.