Ron Cochran Counseling

09/12/2025

Want to feel happier and healthier in the empty nest stage?

Try this two-word habit: “Thank you.”

According to a Harvard article titled “Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier,”

“Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

I’ve found it to be true.

When I’m grateful, I’m more energized, less anxious and just plain happier.

In marriage, gratitude is magic.

So start saying this more often: “Thank you, I appreciate you.”

Be specific and give an example:

“Thanks for doing the dishes—I really needed that extra time today.”

Small words. Big impact.

What’s something your partner did recently that you appreciated?

Drop it in the comments—it might inspire someone else to say thank you too.

And if you’re ready to turn more of your conversations into connection, I created a free guide just for you:

The Empty Nester’s Guide to Rebuilding Connection in 20 Minutes a Day.

It’s packed with simple, powerful tools to help you take small steps back toward each other—starting today.

Click the link below to get your copy and begin your second act — together.
https://www.marriagerenewalacademy.com/opt-in

09/08/2025

Big news: I’m retiring from couples counseling at the end of November.

It’s been an incredible journey—and I’m so grateful for every couple I’ve had the privilege to walk alongside.

But I’m not done helping marriages thrive. I’m just shifting focus.

My next chapter is all about helping empty nest couples who feel distant, disconnected, or discouraged rediscover the joy and intimacy in their relationship.

While I’ll no longer be posting here at Ron Cochran Counseling, you can find me at my new page:

👉 Marriage Renewal Academy 👈

That’s where I’ll be sharing practical, compassionate tools to help you reconnect and create your best chapter yet.

If you’re an empty nester—or you know one who could use some encouragement—come join our community.

Let’s make this next season your strongest one yet.

04/17/2025

A good game of pitch and catch is a partnership. The pitcher does not throw the ball with the idea that he has done his job and wherever the ball is thrown, it’s up to the catcher to snag it. Nor is it the attitude of the catcher to hold the glove in one place and expect the ball to always hit the glove without having to make any effort to move or stretch to be able to catch the ball.

Think about it. When the ball is hit to the third baseman who throws it to first, what is the first baseman doing? He’s not standing nonchalantly with his his hands on his hips. He is stretching towards the throw. The first baseman moves wherever the ball is at in order to catch it while still keeping his foot on the bag.

When it comes to communication, it is so incredibly important that spouses stretch toward each other. No one is going to be perfect 100% of the time pitching comments or catching comments. That is why good communication includes stretching toward the other person. What does this look like?

Here are five tips for how to stretch toward each other during communication.

04/15/2025

A good game of pitch and catch is a partnership. The pitcher does not throw the ball with the idea that he has done his job and wherever the ball is thrown, it’s up to the catcher to snag it. Nor is it the attitude of the catcher to hold the glove in one place and expect the ball to always hit the glove without having to make any effort to move or stretch to be able to catch the ball.

Think about it. When the ball is hit to the third baseman who throws it to first, what is the first baseman doing? He’s not standing nonchalantly with his his hands on his hips. He is stretching towards the throw. The first baseman moves wherever the ball is at in order to catch it while still keeping his foot on the bag.

When it comes to communication, it is so incredibly important that spouses stretch toward each other. No one is going to be perfect 100% of the time pitching comments or catching comments. That is why good communication includes stretching toward the other person. What does this look like?

Here are five tips for how to stretch toward each other during communication.
https://rcochran.com/how-baseball-can-save-your-marriage-a-game-of-pitch-and-catch/

04/14/2025

How can I help?

I listen to your story of what has gone well and what has gone wrong. I help you to learn how to talk more effectively, get rid of the habits and patterns that cause hurt and start meeting each other’s needs. Hope returns, and with it greater marital satisfaction. Before long, you possess the skills and tools to build a successful relationship.

I stand ready to help! The quickest and easiest way to schedule is to use my “online scheduler”. You just click on the day and time that works best for you.
rcochran.com

04/11/2025

Today's Relationship Boost: Remind your spouse of a great, shared memory.

04/10/2025

It is ok when people disagree, but it can be so much better when each partner feels they are heard and understood. That means each person respects what the other partner said.

04/09/2025

As in a game of pitch and catch, before you throw the ball or react to your partner, you need to be able to catch what the other person is saying. That requires intent and focus. It also requires wanting to know and understand what your partner is thinking and feeling. Since you can easily jump to conclusions, it requires challenging your assumptions.

So much of the time, people talk at each other or down to each other rather than truly communicating. The ball is thrown back-and-forth like you are volleying in a tennis match.

Often times this occurs, because people are intent in making their point and intent on winning the argument. Rather than listening, they are thinking about what they want to say next. They are going for the big win.

It is ok when people disagree, but it can be so much better when each partner feels they are heard and understood. That means each person respects what the other partner said. In Dr. John Gottman’s research, he found that one of the tipping points of a marriage lasting or failing is whether each spouse feels influence in the relationship.

So how do you catch what the other person says in a way that builds influence?

Here are 5 tips to better catch what your spouse is saying.

https://rcochran.com/how-baseball-can-save-your-marriage-a-game-of-pitch-and-catch/

04/08/2025

As in a game of pitch and catch, before you throw the ball or react to your partner, you need to be able to catch what the other person is saying. That requires intent and focus. It also requires wanting to know and understand what your partner is thinking and feeling. Since you can easily jump to conclusions, it requires challenging your assumptions.

So much of the time, people talk at each other or down to each other rather than truly communicating. The ball is thrown back-and-forth like you are volleying in a tennis match.

Often times this occurs, because people are intent in making their point and intent on winning the argument. Rather than listening, they are thinking about what they want to say next. They are going for the big win.

It is ok when people disagree, but it can be so much better when each partner feels they are heard and understood. That means each person respects what the other partner said. In Dr. John Gottman’s research, he found that one of the tipping points of a marriage lasting or failing is whether each spouse feels influence in the relationship.

So how do you catch what the other person says in a way that builds influence?

Check out my blog post for 5 tips to better catch what your spouse is saying.

https://rcochran.com/how-baseball-can-save-your-marriage-a-game-of-pitch-and-catch/

04/07/2025

You may feel critical. Your spouse may feel defensive. You can’t talk about anything other than your day and your kids without conversations disintegrating into arguments and withdrawal. You have stack upon stack of unresolved issues.

It didn’t start that way. You used to feel connected. You used to feel like you could talk about anything. You were happy in your relationship.

Then over time, you paid less attention to your marriage. That led to feeling less connected. That led to communication becoming less fluid and more awkward. That led to sticking to safe subjects and avoiding the danger zones as much as possible.

Almost every marital issue is affected by a certain amount of poor communication and almost every issue requires improved communication to help solve it.

I have a passion for communication, having taught it in public schools for 10 years and for over 25 years as a University of Illinois consultant. I love helping couples learn to communicate and resolve conflict more effectively.

If you are ready to work on your communication, then visit my website and make an appointment on my online scheduler. rcochran.com

Ron Cochran Counseling provides therapy in Illinois for couples struggling with affairs, communication, conflict, separation, trust & more.

04/04/2025

Today's Relationship Boost: If you have children, spend at least 20 minutes of one on one time with each child.

04/02/2025

Almost every marital issue is affected by a certain amount of poor communication and almost every issue requires improved communication to help solve it. So, here are 9 steps to better communication.