01/26/2026
Please read. If you know a parent who has been alienated from their children (minors or adults) by the other parent or family members or estranged due to a myriad of other reasons, you can find ways to support them.
The grief of estrangement is silent and alienating and persistent. Being a support is not trying to fix or instill hope. It is being a witness.
In this article there are things to say and things not to say. I would add some extremely hurtful things to NOT say are: oh, it’s not like they are dead. Don’t worry, they will come back.
Things to add to the list TO say: I’m so sorry. This hurts.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=122163238130851994&id=61575559825505
You may not be the one living through estrangement.
But you probably know someone who is.
A friend who changes the subject when family comes up.
A parent who goes quiet around holidays.
Estrangement isn’t just a relational rupture, it’s a profound form of ambiguous loss.
Their child is alive, but absent. And many parents carry this privately, thinking about their children every single day, while trying not to burden anyone else with their pain.
What helps most isn’t advice.
It isn’t asking why.
It isn’t offering simple fixes to something so complex.
Often, what helps most is being a witness.
I wrote a Substack as a letter from a therapist to the friends of estranged parents—about what they’re walking through, what not to say, and how to show up with steadiness and care.
Read here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelhaack/p/if-you-know-an-estranged-parent-please?r=3z0lz8&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
Comment WITNESS and I’ll DM you the full article. I welcome your comments here too❤️⬇️
