Embolden Psychology

22/07/2025

Stress is multifaceted. When we are stressed, it can affect our body, mind, thoughts, and focus.

Read:
https://embolden.world/how-to-reduce-anxiety-on-the-go-strategies-that-work/

07/07/2025

The psychology of loyalty
From the Couples Therapy archives at

People tend to define loyalty by what it is not (for example, not being betrayed, cheated on, humiliated, or abandoned), but it represents much more than the absence of mistreatment. In couples therapy as in all important relationships, loyalty promotes mental health.

Characteristics of Loyalty

Loyalty is faithfulness, dedication, honesty, trust, and support in a relationship. It requires an emotional commitment and engenders a sense of identity. Most importantly, it provides a feeling of having somebody with you in the world, someone who has your back, and will not intentionally hurt you.

Components of loyalty :

Support
Loyalty means being there for someone through their highs and lows.  Research shows that when people experience a sense of loyalty in a relationship, they are more open to receiving feedback, reflecting on their behavior, and working on personal change.

Acceptance
Loyalty involves accepting and loving someone for who they are and not threatening to leave when things become challenging. It is an acknowledgment of the other person‘s vulnerability, and your mindful decision not to hurt them.

Consistency
Loyalty means being consistent in your treatment, behavior, and regard for another—being the person they can count on. In my couples therapy work, I call this a ‘safe landing’.

 Positive reinforcement
Giving words of encouragement, validation, and affirmation are components of a loyal relationship. In behavioral therapy, positive reinforcement increases a (desired) behavior.

Transparency
Being vulnerable and not hiding parts of you are important aspects of loyalty. People who share their thoughts and feelings display a willingness to be known and to know others in an authentic, open way. It encourages mutual trust.

Mental Health
Loyalty helps build positive self-image, self-efficacy, and self-esteem, all important for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Knowing you have people who have your back and will be there for you when you need them can help you feel secure and less alone.

How to Build Loyalty
Show appreciation: Show that you value the person. Communicate how important their presence is in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Showing someone your loyalty can foster their loyalty, too.

Be supportive: Offer encouragement when they're struggling, and help them face their problems. Don’t give up on them when challenges arise. They should know you’re there for them through thick and thin.

Maintain their confidence: If they share their secrets, hopes, plans, fears, or insecurities with you, respect their privacy and avoid passing judgment.

Keep promises: Make it a point to follow through on commitments. Be honest if you can't do something.

Honor your relationship: Be faithful in whatever way you and your partner personally define that.

Be honest: Don't keep secrets. Be authentic with them, even when vulnerability is uncomfortable. Being your true self helps promote trust and loyalty.

Act in their best interests: Acting on ulterior motives, talking behind their back, or embarrassing them in public shows disloyalty.

Address problems within the relationship: Manage issues directly instead of talking about them to other people. This shows that you value your relationship and encourages communication.

Treat them fairly: If you’re having a disagreement, consider their perspective, even if it clashes with yours. Ignoring or avoiding difficult conversations can cause issues later on. Having to be right or win an argument is a loss to loyalty.

Use active listening:  Reflection, clarification, and letting the other person have their say are skills that require practice and promote loyalty.

24/06/2025

Lessons from the pandemic. Truer than ever.

I was recently interviewed for a piece on mental health for VerywellMind about things I have learned from the pandemic. The question was: As both one who is living through this and helping others live through this, what are the lessons that most come to mind for you? Seven things…

31/05/2025

Emotional or mental abuse can be insidious.

From the therapy archives at

29/04/2025

Start or end every day, listening to Louis Armstrong…and many more gems for a quality life.

Ten rules for getting very, very old.

20/04/2025

I often work with individuals who are finding that procrastination is a problem in their personal and professional lives. It’s not about being lazy.

Task initiation is an important component of executive functioning. Getting started can be excruciating.
Calling it laziness is not helpful.

24/03/2025

The ache to be authentic and loved for oneself is nearly universal.

25/02/2025

https://embolden.world/the-importance-of-tears/

Vulnerability fosters empathy. There’s no ChatGPT for that.

10/02/2025

 From

The psychology of job loss: Job loss-related anxiety and depression are very real. Biggest take aways: do not personalize, turn to your support networks-personal and professional, allow yourself space to grieve,  assess your skill set, pacing is essential, as is being kind to yourself. Losing a professional identity or even a starter job can shake our world and sense of stability.  It can feel like a wound. This is especially true for people who are mentally vulnerable.



This article will allow you to understand the psychosocial factors associated with job loss and correlated depression.

02/09/2024

Is introversion OK?
From

Surprisingly, introverts are still considered ‘weird’. Individuals who are more outgoing, talkative, and interactive, are somehow considered healthier. As a mental health professional, I find myself sometimes telling clients to ‘get out of the house’ or be more sociable.

Introversion is a personality trait, not a mental health condition. Introverts get their energy from within, meaning they need a lot of alone time to recharge. Many introverts prefer minimally stimulating environments – they often enjoy doing solo activities or spending time in familiar spaces or with people they know well. Being in busier or more active social environments isn’t necessarily anxiety-inducing for them – they just know it will take a lot more energy to be “on.” While social anxiety is more about fear or embarrassment, introversion is recharging.

Read, from the mental health blog at Embolden:

https://embolden.world/quiet/
https://embolden.world/what-is-social-anxiety-disorder/

22/08/2024

From .

When children are forced into taking adult roles in childhood, this can linger into adult relationships. This may include micromanagement of partners and family members, excessive worrying or hypervigilance, and taking responsibility for others’ tasks.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202408/3-steps-to-begin-healing-from-parentification

Also see, from the mental health blog, at Embolden;
on abandonment anxiety in relationships:
https://embolden.world/what-is-abandonment-anxiety/

Healing from parentification involves developing new patterns while prioritizing self-care and learning boundaries.

16/08/2024

An individualized approach to therapy is essential for working with teens and young adult clients who are neurodivergent.