05/30/2025
Raising Children with Moral Clarity
After my last post, several people humorously asked what my grandmother might say about our current political environment. It got me thinking more deeply about the wisdom she offered through the quiet example of her daily life.
With Grandma, meals were sacred—not just for nourishment but for creating connection. The food was always thoughtfully prepared and absolutely delicious (with an innocent disregard for metabolic health). It wasn’t just about feeding the body; it was about welcoming people, making them comfortable, and ensuring that everyone left the table with a full heart. Around that table, we didn’t discuss global events or politics. Instead, we focused on the neighbors, family news, and church needs. Her tone was never judgmental, only open and quietly compassionate. Chores were assigned without drama, and a modest weekend treat—a fishing trip, a visit to a relative—was all the excitement we needed. There would be one weekday during the summer that we would spend at Lakeside, the local amusement park. Weekends were too busy there, so we would go during the week instead. Her life was rooted in simplicity, service, and the creation of calm joy.
Reflecting on her personality, I am not sure in today’s world what her political beliefs would be, but I am sure she would have been uneasy inviting most of the current political figures to dinner. Not because she’d worry about misspeaking herself, but because of what she imagined they might say to her. I can almost hear her: “They are too rude, and nothing good comes of that.”. In many ways, her quiet way of life stands in direct contrast to the transactional, combative ethos that has taken hold of our public discourse. That life encapsulated an essential truth too often overlooked today: civility and mutual respect form the bedrock of moral clarity.
Of course, politicians might argue that they must operate on a higher plane of psychological manipulation as part of their negotiation. The notion that one is always negotiating is both the central justification for these behaviors and a means of deflecting accountability for what is said. To confront with evidence or moral appeal is, in this framework, to miss the point entirely.
Shared Values, False Divides
Today, instead of celebrating our shared foundational values—hard work, decency, personal responsibility, and a desire to do good—our political landscape too often encourages us to choose sides. The framing narratives seem to thrive on this: painting the establishment as wholly corrupt, igniting distrust, and fueling an agenda of divide and conquer. This rhetoric pressures individuals to take sides rather than stand on principles. It weakens our shared vision by emphasizing fractures rather than commonalities.
Raising Children with Moral Clarity
In contrast, our goal as parents and citizens is to raise children with real-world moral clarity. Nearly all parents, regardless of political affiliation, hope to teach their children a fundamental skill: how to solve problems without hurting other people. This fundamental skill serves as a universal foundation for moral development. With this in mind, I believe we should focus on these fundamental educational and parenting approaches:
1. Teaching empathy and the ability to see things from another’s perspective. This can begin with asking questions like, “How would you feel if that happened to you?” or encouraging children to listen before reacting.
2. Modeling calm and constructive problem-solving. When adults handle conflict with calm voices and reasoned approaches, children tend to internalize these methods. Instead of yelling during disagreements, demonstrate compromise and engage in respectful discussions.
3. Upholding honesty as a cornerstone of all relationships. Create a culture where telling the truth is welcomed, even when it involves mistakes. Celebrate honesty more than you punish errors.
4. Practicing consistency between values and actions. If you preach kindness but react to stress with cruelty, children learn that hypocrisy is acceptable. Make daily choices that match your declared values.
5. Encouraging open-mindedness and curiosity. Support children in asking questions, exploring different cultures, and listening to opposing views. Teach them that wisdom grows through challenge.
6. Setting clear boundaries that are fair and explained. Instead of just saying, “Because I said so,” explain the reasoning behind the rules—boundaries with logic foster trust, not rebellion.
7. Reinforcing accountability without shame. When children make mistakes, hold them accountable with compassion and understanding. Instead of labeling them as bad, focus on the behavior and the opportunity to make things right.
8. Fostering a sense of responsibility for others and community well-being. This can be modeled through volunteering, helping a neighbor, or even just cleaning up after oneself. Emphasize the ripple effects of caring for others.
We do this not by aligning with fractured political brands or succumbing to partisan narratives but by fostering a shared underlying mindset: that our common goal is to nurture truth, decency, and mutual care. Like my grandmother’s example—and the emotional environments we create in our own homes—we must be equally mindful of the atmospheres that shape our children.
I hope we can commit ourselves to this shared project of moral clarity. Like all endeavors, this approach may require thoughtful refinement. But amidst the noise of agenda-driven politics, we can choose to elevate what is timeless, what is decent, and what is fundamentally human. In doing so, we not only resist the fragmentation of our culture—we actively repair it.
