Dr. Kristi Webb

  • Home
  • Dr. Kristi Webb

Dr. Kristi Webb I am a psychologist in private practice. I work with adults who are struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and life transitions.

Some are suicidal and/or self-harming. I am a DBT therapist as well as using other therapies. See my Pinterest board at www.pinterest.com/drkristiwebb/

11/08/2025

Skill of the Week: If You Always Do What You Always Did, You're Gonna Always Get What You Always Got. I probably irritate the heck out of my patients due to the frequency with which I say this, but it's so true. If we want to change, we actually have to do something different. You can't stop drinking by continuing to drink; you can't lose weight by continuing to eat the way you have been; you can't have more rewarding relationships by getting involved with the same kinds of people and responding to them in the same ways you always have. If we want to change, we have to - you know - change. Have you heard that definition of insanity? It's doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. The significant thing to remember, I think, is that our changes don't always have to be dramatic ones (although sometimes they do). Don't eat that candy bar; park a bit further from your destination; call a friend you haven't spoken to in a month; go to the gym just for today. If the change you want is to make some new friends, doing something different doesn't necessarily mean joining a book club and a new church and volunteering at the NPR station's begathon, and taking your dog to the dog park every Saturday (I'm exhausted just writing all that!). Invite a classmate or coworker for coffee. No? OK... but if you always do what you always did, you're gonna always get what you always got.

04/08/2025

Skill of the Week: Writing. This can be a very helpful skill in situations where we are angry, anxious, ashamed, sad, or we need to figure something out. Writing can help us clarify our thoughts and separate facts from the stories we're telling ourselves. Writing out our anger or our fears can reduce them to a more manageable size. I was taught to write in a stream-of-consciousness fashion. This means setting pen to paper for a certain number of minutes (I usually choose 10) and not stopping to think. If you get stuck, I was told, simply write the last word over and over again until your mind unsticks itself. I recommend this skill when I see that people are already emotionally dysregulated, to help them not make the situation worse. I also urge using it when someone is trying to figure something out and there are a lot of moving parts. Writing thoughts and feelings down on paper makes the problem less daunting.

28/07/2025

Skill of the Week: Make a Commitment. Lots of people find that accountability is really helpful to them, especially when it comes to doing something they're not all that crazy about doing. Making a commitment helps us be accountable. This is why exercising with a friend has a better chance of getting you out of bed at 6 a.m. than going alone; you're less likely to skip it if you've made a commitment to a someone. Stopping smoking, losing weight, quitting drinking - we're all pretty familiar with the practice of making a commitment - out loud, to at least one other person - in these endeavors. It can be useful to apply the same skill to other tasks. You can make a commitment to spend less money, to drive more slowly, not to talk on your phone while you drive, to keep your kitchen table free of clutter, to walk 10,000 steps daily, to drink water throughout the day, not to check your phone at meals with friends or family. This skill works for anything. Making a commitment also means choosing the right person to hear it; it's not going to be very helpful to make a commitment to check your phone less often with a friend who will give you a pass if you don't follow through. Sometimes you might even want to set up a reward/penalty system with whoever you make your commitment to. Start, though, by making the commitment at all; that's the first step.

21/07/2025

Skill of the Week: Mind Your Words. There is a lot of research on the relationship between what we say and how we think and feel. Words are important and powerful. If you say, "That destroyed me!" I'm going to challenge you, unless you have literally exploded into tiny bits in front of me. It didn't destroy you; it was uncomfortable and difficult. "I always screw up" is another example: Always? Every single time? You've never done anything other than screw up? Really? (Doubtful). "I can't" is yet another phrase I'll challenge (try "I haven't been able to so far" instead). I recently read someone suggesting that instead of saying we "fall in love" that we say we "rise in love". For some people, "Rest in Power" is more appropriate than "Rest in Peace." And you know how your English teacher was always trying to get you to stop using passive voice? Instead of talking about how many women were assaulted last year, let's talk about how many men assaulted women. It changes the tone, doesn't it? In both public and private conversations, on weighty topics or casual chat, you can mind your words.

14/07/2025

Skill of the Week: Complaining. Yes, complaining is a skill! I think of three types of complaining. First, there is the kind of complaining that is resistant to apologies or new facts. If this person complains that you interrupted them, and you apologize, they keep on complaining. I call this person Wanda Whiner, and that's not what I think of as skillful! Then there's the kind of complaining designed to get a specific result: "This product was defective and I'd like a refund or a replacement." This requires those interpersonal effectiveness skills. The kind of complaining I'm talking about this week, though, is different. It allows us to vent, to get validation, and to find the humor in the situation (eventually). So go ahead: whine and complain to your therapist, your partner, your neighbor, your coworker. As long as you stay open to new facts and new perspectives (such as compassion for the offender), go ahead and wave your arms about and strut up and down and pound the desk. I'm fairly confident that with this attitude, you'll get to the humorous aspects of the situation and be able to let go of the complaint (for now).

07/07/2025

Skill of the Week: Laughter. This is a *great* tool for weathering distress! It's a cliche, of course, that "laughter is the best medicine", and most of us have heard the story of Norman Cousins, editor of "The Saturday Review", and how he cured himself of a spinal disease by watching Marx Brothers movies. Please note that I am not a medical doctor and do not recommend this as your sole course of treatment, but laughter really is healing in many ways! It helps us to, literally, lighten up. For even a brief span of time, our sadness or anger or pain or anxiety are displaced by bubbles of enjoyment, even happiness. When was the last time you laughed until you had tears in your eyes, and you couldn't catch your breath, you were laughing so hard? This stimulates endorphins, which make us feel better. Even if the sensations of pleasure don't last, that's OK: for a moment we get a respite from pain, whether physical or emotional. Of course, another cliche is the person who snaps, "Don't make me laugh - I'm angry at you", or "Don't make me laugh while I'm crying!". Some part of us often wants to hang onto our sorrow or anger or fear; if we can allow ourselves to replace it momentarily with joy, by using the skill of laughter, it will be easier to bear.

30/06/2025

Skill of the Week: Responding to Fear. What a half a year this has already been! Extreme heat, storms, floods, mudslides, mass shootings, warfare, politics - it's hard not to get caught up in anxiety or its cousin, fear. There are skills you can use to manage your fears, whether of the known or unknown. First of all, please validate yourself: it makes sense to feel fear, anxiety, agitation, even irritability in the face of any huge unknown - even in the face of a known, such as an unpleasant medical test. Next, close your eyes and imagine yourself going through the event or situation; what happens, very specifically? How will you respond if this happens, or that? Then you can turn to concrete steps to manage your fear: what do you need to do to get through the event, or to deal with today's heat or storms? It will also be very helpful to manage your fear by turning off constant alerts and news updates. Try to find one news source and stick to that, checking it only once a day (not at bedtime). If you have a mindfulness practice, don't skip it! Get exercise (at the gym, or go for a walk or a run in your neighborhood, or use a yoga video). Get plenty of sleep, which may be difficult if you're anxious, so don't hesitate to use your prescribed sleep meds or other sleep aids. Eat healthily, hydrate. And breathe; breathing is good! Practice deep breaths while relaxing the muscles of your face, shoulders, and stomach. You only have to endure this day, this challenge.

23/06/2025

Skill of the Week: Intense Sensations. There are times when it is really, really hard to get our minds off of whatever is upsetting us, making us anxious, angry, or sad. Using Intense Sensations is a skill that can work. You may already know some version of this, although you might not think of it in terms of Intense Sensations. For example, taking a very hot or very cold shower in order to get through a trying time; splashing cold water on your face, wrists, or neck; or chewing on ice, to help you "cool down" emotionally - these are ways that you probably already know to use this skill. Some other options include sucking on a lemon, listening to music really loudly, squeezing a rubber ball as hard as you can, holding the plank yoga pose for 30 seconds or more, or going to the perfume counter at a department store and trying every one. By engaging your senses you are distracting yourself, but unlike other forms of distraction (e.g., cleaning or watching a video) you're activating more primitive parts of your brain, which is helpful because it dials down your thinking function. Don't hurt yourself using this skill, but do try a couple of sensory challenges.

16/06/2025

Skill of the Week: Change your Temperature. "Cool down!" "She's very hot-tempered." "I was so angry I could feel my face get red and sweaty." This skill allows us to chill out, literally. When our thoughts and feelings are running hot, changing our body's temperature is one way to save us from making a challenging situation worse. Plunge your face into ice water (please *don't* do this if you have heart issues); this will activate your dive reflex, thereby slowing down your heart rate and lowering your blood pressure, among other effects. Or you can hold onto ice cubes (or a package of frozen peas, or an ice pack, or even a cold can of soda) for five minutes. Doing so will distract you from your emotional distress; it is also likely to help you cool down cognitively and emotionally.

09/06/2025

Skill of the Week: Self-soothe (the five senses). This may be my favorite skill because it's pleasurable, the tools I need to use it are easily accessible, and it gets rapid results. It requires intentionality: making a deliberate choice to soothe each of the five senses. Taste something delicious like a fresh peach; smell something lovely like a rose or a lemon; smooth on body lotion or pat your dog or cat for touch; look at a favorite children's picture book or photos of loved ones, or look at art online; listen to a beloved piece of music or even call someone to hear their precious voice. Some people even have "emergency kits" in their car, desk, or home, so that they can quickly and easily locate whatever they need when they are upset (because who can think of what to do when we're emotionally dysregulated?). You probably already know a bit about this skill if you have a favorite pair of jammies or a comfort food. When we are upset, this skill can help us tolerate feeling distressed. It can help us survive a situation without making it worse.

02/06/2025

Skill of the Week: Push Away Thoughts. There are lots of situations in which we cannot afford to be distracted by distressing thoughts or images. Pushing away thoughts - what psychologists term "adaptive denial" - can be useful at these times. If we let ourselves get caught up in the thoughts, we may not attend to our job, family, driving, or other important commitment; we may not enjoy what's enjoyable, and we certainly won't be living in the present moment. This skill is also useful when we have urges to do something we're trying to stay away from (eat, drink, smoke, yell). When we have the thought, "A ______ would taste really good right about now" we can practice pushing it away. It's important to know that we may have to push away bothersome thoughts over and over and over again. It can be effective to practice this skill by visualizing pushing the thought over a cliff, even shutting it into a box or a drawer (or both). Although relying on this skill alone isn't healthy (eventually we may have to deal with whatever issue gave rise to the thought or urge) it can reduce our distress and give us a break from problematic thoughts.

26/05/2025

Skill of the Week: Change the Story. We all have stories we tell ourselves about how the world works, about ourselves, about others. We go about our days looking for evidence that confirms these stories, and ignoring or rejecting all the disconfirming evidence. The problem with this, of course, is that our stories are so often incomplete or simply wrong. Since thoughts always come before feelings, we can change how we feel by changing our thoughts - by changing the story. For example, maybe one of your stories is, "If people really knew me, they'd stop liking me." Such a story would certainly lead to fear, doubt and insecurity. You might change the story to something like, "It's possible that my friends don't know the real me, and that if they did they'd stop liking me - but I'd have to run the experiment to be sure. I can do that, or I can enjoy the friendship we have. I can tell myself that they like what they know of me." Changing this story reduces the feeling of fear. Any story is amenable to change, and any feeling can be changed by changing the story you tell yourself.

Address

NC

Opening Hours

Monday 10:00 - 19:00
Tuesday 13:30 - 18:30
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:30

Telephone

+19192251569

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr. Kristi Webb posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Dr. Kristi Webb:

Shortcuts

  • Address
  • Telephone
  • Opening Hours
  • Alerts
  • Contact The Practice
  • Claim ownership or report listing

  • Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic?

Share

Our Story

I am a psychologist in private practice. I work with adults who are struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and life transitions. Some are suicidal and/or self-harming. I am a DBT therapist as well as using other therapies. My page sends out the Skill of the Week each Monday morning. My pronouns are she, her, hers.