Dr. Kristi Webb

Dr. Kristi Webb I am a psychologist in private practice. I work with adults who are struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, and life transitions.

Some are suicidal and/or self-harming. I am a DBT therapist as well as using other therapies. See my Pinterest board at www.pinterest.com/drkristiwebb/

05/11/2026

Skill of the Week: Encourage yourself. Wouldn't we all love it if our grandmother or our best friend or our dog were with us every time we faced something difficult? How great would that be, to have someone always there saying, "You can do it!" or "Great job!" or "Just do this one thing, then you can stop.... well done!" Saying these things to ourselves is essential at times when we have to do something we don't want to do, or fear we cannot do. Encouraging ourselves is cheerleading ourselves - you go! - and being our own biggest supporter, just for these few minutes or hours until we get through the difficult task or event.

05/04/2026

Skill of the Week: Build Mastery. Most of us want to feel competent, confident, and capable as often as possible. In order to feel that way, we have to act in ways that leave us feeling self-confident, in control, and capable of dealing with things. If you are a good cook or an excellent lawyer, or you can run very fast, or you play the guitar well, then doing those things can remind you of how competent and capable you are, which will increase your self-confidence. But what about those days when you're just not feelin' it? On those days, you may be likely to tell yourself, "It's no big deal - anyone can do that" or even, "I'm really not very good at that, after all." Engaging in a task that is a bit of a stretch for you can develop your mastery muscles and leave you feeling more hopeful and strong. If you already know you are competent and capable in some things, do them frequently and add new skills; if you can't think of anything that leaves you feeling competent, confident, and capable, choose something that is a little bit hard and start learning how to do it. Building mastery is a great way to inoculate ourselves against depression and to become more resilient.

04/27/2026

Skill of the Week: Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional. Life is full of pain. There's global pain (Gaza, Israel, Lebanon, Ukraine, climate change), national pain (racism, politics), local pain (drought in NC, local politics ), and there's our personal pain (losses, disappointments, breakups - your team lost, your pet died, you didn't get a job you had hoped for, a relationship ended). No question, these are all painful. We cannot avoid pain; it's part of even the best-lived life. Suffering, however, is a choice. I generally define suffering as "pain plus non-acceptance of pain." Feeling pain is one thing; hanging onto it, insisting that it shouldn't be that way, raging against it, or withdrawing from the world for an extended period in an effort to avoid further pain, asking, "Why?" or, "Why me?" - all of these are ways we create suffering in our own lives. Withdraw from the world for a bit, but then come back; feel sad and move ahead anyway; rage and then pick up the pieces and deal with what made you angry, stop asking why and instead ask, "How can I help fix it?".

04/20/2026

Skill of the Week: Be Curious. What makes this skill hard is that we're usually so certain of our opinions about things: we don't like that political party; we hate okra; we are not fond of exercise; we can't stand reggaeton. Having opinions has its advantages - for example, in the voting booth - but can also prevent us from learning something new. This is especially true when it comes to other people. Being sure that you know how they should behave, think, or feel can get in the way of you understanding how they really do experience the world. So ask questions ("can you tell me more about why you believe that?" rather than, "You believe THAT?!?!"). "Was there some event that convinced you of X?" "Was there ever a time you thought something different?" By being curious, you will find yourself less agitated, and you may be able to develop more empathy for another person - even someone who holds a position you vehemently disagree with.

04/13/2026

Skill of the Week: Put one sneaker in front of the next. So, there you are, coming down the home stretch of the week, or nearing the end of a big project, or facing an important appointment. How are you ever going to get through the mound of stuff you have to deal with now, and make it to the weekend, or through the project? The answer: put one sneaker in front of the next. That's it. It's not fancy and it doesn't require special talents or gifts or equipment. Got 791 emails to respond to? Put one sneaker in front of the next. Facing another seemingly-endless round of cooking and laundry and taking your turn at hosting the neighborhood games night? Put one sneaker in front of the next. And finishing that crucial work project, which no one can help you with? Put one sneaker in front of the next. What about depression, or anxiety, or a difficult history that you're still struggling with? Put one sneaker in front of the next. It's not sophisticated but it works: just put one little sneaker in front of the next and you'll get to where you want to go.

04/06/2026

Skill of the Week: Distract Yourself with Activities. Sooner or later (maybe the next time you look at the news or your Facebook feed) you are going to feel distressed. Often, our distress comes at a really inconvenient time, such as when we have to go to work or help our child. So distracting ourselves is a very useful skill - it allows us to shove the distress aside for now, and come back to it later. There are many ways to distract ourselves; using activities is only one. It helps to choose an activity that you can really get immersed in. Folding laundry won't be effective for some people; others will find the challenge of folding t-shirts *just right* to be helpful. Doing a puzzle or word game, cleaning out the fridge, talking to a friend, watching a movie, going for a walk, or playing cards are all examples of activities that are likely to be absorbing enough that you can distract yourself from your distress. There are many more - find what activity works for you.

03/30/2026

Skill of the Week: Urge Surfing. I use and teach this skill often. It is somewhat related to last week's skill, Keep Your Side of the Street Clean. This one is useful if you're trying to change a behavior (stop smoking or va**ng, stop drinking, eat less, move more). It's also super helpful when you feel that sense of urgency about replying to that email or returning that phone call, or when you *just have to* say something to your coworker or neighbor or partner. The idea is that rigidity gets us into trouble. If you're at the beach, standing in the water, and you plant your feet and stand rigidly, one of those waves is going to hit you in the back and you'll end up with a bathing suit and a mouth full of sand. But if you soften your stance, relax, and move with the water, you can surf it all the way into shore. In earthquake-prone areas, structures are generally built to be able to sway with the temblor; they have some give to them, so that they don't collapse in a quake. That's you: swaying, surfing the urge, riding it out. Because I promise you that whether you act on it or you don't, that urge will recede. Might as well surf it and end up smiling.

03/23/2026

Skill of the Week: Keep your side of the street clean. Another version of this skill that I have heard is, "Keep your eyes on your own plate." This skill can be especially useful when we have gotten into a wrangle with someone else - or when we anticipate that we might do so. Keeping your side of the street clean means that all you focus on is your part. Whatever the other person in this drama did or failed to do, keep your own side of the street clean. And there is also no need to point out the litter on the other person's side! It's not very helpful to apologize by saying, "I'm really sorry I lost my temper when you called me a name, but you should know that calling someone names is a really immature thing to do." Forget about what that other person has, or is doing, or is probably thinking or saying about you right now; stay honest and pay attention to your own side of the street. There will be much less drama, and fewer messes to clean up later.

03/16/2026

Skill of the Week: What Other People Think of Me is None of My Business. This is a hard one, isn't it? We get so easily concerned with whether other people find us good-looking, smart, funny, hard working, someone they want to spend time with. It's so hard to let go of the idea that other people's opinion of me is very important. When we're tuned in to self-respect, however, other people's opinions of us cease to matter. When we are living according to our own values, then what other people think of us becomes unimportant. The gold standard of this might be the Dowager Countess on "Downton Abbey", played by Maggie Smith (you can also look up what Helen Mirren wishes she had told her younger self). Lady Gaga is another example. She knows who she is, she lives entirely according to her own values, and she doesn't consider what you think about her, because her own opinion is what matters to her. She is secure in herself. Of course it is sad that not everyone likes us or finds us appealing; they are certainly missing out on a good thing! But the goal is to be secure in ourselves and our choices, so that we can truly assert that what other people think of us is none of our business.

03/09/2026

Skill of the Week: Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides. It's so easy to feel less-than. It's tempting to believe the myth that by striving to look like Beyonce we'll be more at ease in our bodies, or that if only we could be invited to give a TED talk we'd be respected; we wish we were more like our brother - HE's really smart and successful! We tell ourselves that such comparisons motivate us to do better. What they actually do is make us feel awful about ourselves, and they're not effective in getting us to change. What we're doing is comparing our insides - our thoughts, feelings, values - to someone else's outsides - the picture they present to the world. We don't have any real idea of what goes on inside that person, whether Beyonce is at ease in her body, whether Brene Brown (a darling of TED talks) believes that she commands respect, whether your brother sees himself as smart and accomplished. Social media can be a culprit in promoting such comparisons; it's important to remind ourselves that on social media people are often presenting the selves they want others to see. Your friend from high school may feel just as awkward and anxious as you do, but it's unlikely she's going to say so on her Instagram feed. It is not helpful, and it can be harmful to yourself, to compare how you feel on the inside with the pretty picture you see on the outside of others.

03/02/2026

Skill of the Week: You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking. It's cold out and you don't want to exercise. Work is boring and you don't want to go. You have a presentation coming up and you'd rather just hide under the bed. In general, if you wait around until you feel like it, you'll be dead 45 minutes already. I mean, who wants to get out of bed on a chilly morning? Smile when you're cranky or preoccupied or anxious? But bring the body, and the mind will follow: bring your body to the task, and your mind will get the message and get into line. Plaster on that (half) smile, and you really will start to feel a bit more pleasant. But try talking yourself into a better mood? Probably not gonna happen, because you can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking.

Address

104 So Estes Drive, Suite 206
Chapel Hill, NC
27514

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 7pm
Tuesday 1:30pm - 6:30pm
Wednesday 9am - 5:30pm

Telephone

+19192251569

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