09/15/2024
When we say “yes” and want to say “no,” we are doing a disservice to ourselves and the person we are saying yes to.
But if I said yes to them, how is that hurting them?
You deny them the opportunity to grow. While this may be uncomfortable (for you) and cause them initial disappointment, they have to pivot and move in a different direction.
Your no could be someone else’s yes.
For example, a neighbor asks you to look after her kids in the morning. You have been looking forward to this quiet morning all week and can’t take this on. You say yes because she seems in a pinch, and you’re “a good person.” (Saying no, yuck, that feels so uncomfortable. She will think I’m a bad person.)
Saying no: I am so sorry you are in a pinch. I can’t help this morning, but you know I would be happy to assist in the future.
Neighbor: Oh. Okay, for sure. I’ll see you soon! She reaches out to the teenager down the street, saving for a car.
Teenager: overwhelming YES!
The neighbor had to pivot in HER pinch, NOT your pinch. You said no to her and yes to yourself, giving the person (teenager) who was meant to be there the opportunity to do so!
Start practicing saying yes to yourself. You’ve got this! 💜