Aleida Heinz, Clinical Sexologist

12/22/2025

Most couples don’t lose desire — they lose access to it.

Stress, emotional exhaustion, resentment, over-familiarity, and performance anxiety are some of the invisible forces that silence desire in long-term relationships.

Understanding these “enemies of desire” changes everything.
Desire doesn’t die. It becomes inaccessible — and once we remove what covers it, it returns.
Dr. Aleida Heinz

Most couples don’t lose desire — they lose access to it. Stress, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and over-familiarity don’t destroy desire; they simply cover it. When we understand these hidden forces, we stop blaming ourselves or our partners and begin to reclaim the space where desire can ...

12/16/2025

The 7 Erotic Languages: How We Learn to Speak Desire

Desire doesn’t disappear — it becomes inaccessible when partners stop speaking each other’s erotic language. The 7 Erotic Languages reveal how each person experiences desire through their senses, imagination, and self-perception. When we learn to understand these internal languages, desire becomes clearer, intimacy deepens, and relationships rediscover the aliveness they thought they had lost. Dr. Aleida Heinz...

Desire doesn’t disappear — it becomes inaccessible when partners stop speaking each other’s erotic language. The 7 Erotic Languages reveal how each person experiences desire through their senses, imagination, and self-perception. When we learn to understand these internal languages, desire bec...

12/08/2025

The Power of Desire: Where Does It Go? What We Lose, What We Can Recover

Desire doesn’t disappear — it gets buried. Under stress, routine, emotional disconnection, and the noise of everyday life. But what’s buried can be recovered. Desire is not a mystery. It’s a language. And once we learn to speak it, we can awaken it again. — Dr. Aleida Heinz, The Power of Desire...

https://aleidaheinz.com/2025/12/08/the-power-of-desire-where-does-it-go-what-we-lose-what-we-can-recover/

12/01/2025

Love is one of the most stabilizing forces in human life. It grounds us, comforts us, and sustains our relationships through stress, change, and uncertainty. Yet in my clinical practice — across more than two decades and thousands of sessions — I’ve observed a consistent pattern:
Love stays. Desire grows quiet.

After more than two decades working with individuals and couples, I’ve learned that desire doesn’t disappear—it becomes inaccessible. Love offers safety, closeness, and stability, while desire needs imagination, space, and aliveness. When we confuse the quieting of desire with a lack of love, ...

12/01/2025

Por qué el Amor no es Suficiente en las Relaciones de Largo Plazo

En las relaciones de largo plazo, el amor suele mantenerse… pero el deseo se vuelve silencioso. No porque algo esté roto, sino porque el amor y el deseo operan con lógicas psicológicas distintas. Comprender esa diferencia transforma por completo la manera en que nos relacionamos. Dra. Aleida Heinz...

En las relaciones de largo plazo, el amor suele mantenerse… pero el deseo se vuelve silencioso. No porque algo esté roto, sino porque el amor y el deseo operan con lógicas psicológicas distintas. Comprender esa diferencia transforma por completo la manera en que nos relacionamos. Dra. Aleida He...

11/26/2025

Why Love Isn’t Enough in Long-Term Relationships

After more than two decades working with individuals and couples, I’ve learned that desire doesn’t disappear—it becomes inaccessible. Love offers safety, closeness, and stability, while desire needs imagination, space, and aliveness. When we confuse the quieting of desire with a lack of love, we misread our relationships, our partners, and ourselves. Understanding the psychology of desire transforms the way we connect. Dr. Aleida Heinz...

After more than two decades working with individuals and couples, I’ve learned that desire doesn’t disappear—it becomes inaccessible. Love offers safety, closeness, and stability, while desire needs imagination, space, and aliveness. When we confuse the quieting of desire with a lack of love, ...

02/14/2025

Love or Passion? What Matters More in a Relationship?

Love and passion—two forces that shape the heart of every relationship. One provides security, trust, and a deep emotional bond, while the other fuels desire, excitement, and an undeniable spark. But which is more important?

The truth is, a fulfilling relationship isn’t about choosing between love and passion; it’s about embracing both. Love is the steady foundation, built on commitment, trust, and emotional intimacy. Passion is the fire, igniting chemistry, desire, and adventure. Without love, passion fades; without passion, love can become routine.

To create a truly lasting and exciting partnership, couples must learn to nurture love like a garden while reigniting passion like a flame. Because the best relationships are those where your partner feels like home but still makes your heart race. ❤️🔥

Aleida Heinz, PhD

https://aleidaheinz.com/2025/02/14/love-or-passion-what-matters-more-in-a-relationship/

12/29/2024

What is a good love, and why does it transform our lives? A good love goes beyond fleeting emotions; it is a refuge that heals our soul, strengthens our mind, and revitalizes our body. When we live a relationship rooted in respect, understanding, passion, and mutual support, we find not only happiness but also holistic well-being. . This authentic love is a good love that acts as a bridge between emotional and physical health, releasing hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, reducing stress, strengthening our heart, and giving us the energy to face life with greater confidence and clarity. Dr. Heinz -drheinz4u@gmail.com...

What is a good love, and why does it transform our lives? A good love goes beyond fleeting emotions; it is a refuge that heals our soul, strengthens our mind, and revitalizes our body. When we live a relationship rooted in respect, understanding, passion, and mutual support, we find not only happine...

12/28/2024

¿Qué es un buen amor y por qué transforma nuestras vidas? Un buen amor va más allá de las emociones pasajeras; es un refugio que sana el alma, fortalece la mente y revitaliza el cuerpo. . Cuando vivimos una relación basada en respeto, comprensión, intimidad, deseo, y apoyo mutuo, no solo encontramos felicidad, sino también bienestar integral. . Este amor auténtico actúa como un puente entre la salud emocional y física, liberando hormonas como la oxitocina que reducen el estrés, fortalecen el corazón y nos dan la energía para enfrentar la vida con más confianza y claridad. Aleida Heinz, PhD -drheinz4u@gmail.com...

¿Qué es un buen amor y por qué transforma nuestras vidas? Un buen amor va más allá de las emociones pasajeras; es un refugio que sana el alma, fortalece la mente y revitaliza el cuerpo. . Cuando vivimos una relación basada en respeto, comprensión, intimidad, deseo, y apoyo mutuo, no solo enco...