Tameka Whittlesey, MSW, LCSW, LCASA

08/30/2024

Grief isn’t just about losing loved ones; it can arise from any significant change or loss in our lives. Here are some examples of unconventional grief triggers:

1. Work Environment Changes: Losing a stable work environment due to structural changes or new leadership can evoke grief, as we mourn the loss of familiarity and security.
2. Body Changes: Whether from aging, pregnancy, or other life events, grieving how our bodies used to look or function is common but often unspoken.
3. Relationship Strain: The deterioration of communication with someone close can cause profound grief as we mourn the lost connection.
4. Identity Loss: Major life shifts like retirement or career changes can lead to a loss of identity, causing grief as we navigate new roles.
5. Unfulfilled Dreams: Letting go of long-held dreams or goals can trigger grief, mourning the future we envisioned but can no longer pursue.
6. Moving Away: Relocating can be exciting but also involves grieving the loss of a familiar environment and routine.

Grief is valid in all its forms, even when it’s not about losing a person. By acknowledging these feelings, we allow ourselves to heal and move forward.

Let’s broaden our understanding of grief and invite in to ourselves the compassion we deserve. Share your thoughts or experiences below. ✨❤️✌🏾

07/17/2024

Have you ever taken a day off or finally gone on vacation after a stressful period, only to get sick, experience worsening allergies, or be hit with migraines and intense aches and pains? 😔 Or perhaps, whenever you finally sit down, the weight of exhaustion crashes over you? If this sounds familiar, it might mean you’re in a constant fight-or-flight mode. When our bodies are always “on” with minimal opportunities to rest, they seize any chance to heal, even if it’s not at the most convenient time.

Life can be tough, with seasons that feel like it’s one thing after another, leaving no room to rest. But we must create and prioritize those moments for ourselves. Our bodies need regular periods of rest, especially when stressed, to restore and equip us for the challenges ahead. 🚗💤 Imagine driving a car without ever stopping for gas or an oil change—it wouldn’t take long before it breaks down. The same goes for our bodies.

Here are some practical tips for rest and relaxation:

1. Schedule Breaks: Just like we plan meetings, let’s schedule regular breaks to unwind. 🗓️
2. Mindful Moments: Take a few minutes each day to check in with our bodies. Notice any tension or fatigue. 🧘🏾‍♀️
3. Self-Compassion: Let’s be kind to ourselves. Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. 💖
4. Support Systems: Share your feelings with friends, family, or a therapist. Support can help lighten the load. 👭

Let’s take the time to nurture ourselves. Prioritize rest and relaxation, not as luxuries, but as essential checkpoints for our body and mind. Just like a car needs fuel and maintenance to run smoothly, our bodies need care and attention to navigate life’s journey with strength and clarity. 🌟

Feel free to share your thoughts or tips for relaxation in the comments! 🌸👇🏾

07/02/2024

Just as supportive relationships can soothe our stress and bring safety to our nervous system, there are also energy takers who have the opposite effect. These individuals can leave us feeling drained, anxious, and out of balance. It’s crucial to recognize the characteristics of those who consume our energy and disrupt our nervous system, bringing stress and uncertainty into our lives.

Here are some signs of energy takers:

1. Constant Negativity: Focusing frequently on the negative and rarely seeing the positive side of things.
2. Criticism and Judgment: Constantly critiquing and judging others, making people feel inadequate or defensive.
3. Lack of Empathy: Showing little understanding or compassion for others’ feelings and needs.
4. Drama and Chaos: Thriving on creating or being involved in drama, leaving others feeling unsettled.
5. Inconsistent Behavior: Exhibiting unpredictable actions and moods that cause confusion and anxiety.
6. Demanding Attention: Requiring constant attention and support but offering little in return.

Recognizing these characteristics can help you protect your energy and maintain a balanced nervous system. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, respect your boundaries, and bring a sense of calm and security to your life. ❤️✌🏾✨

Remember, it’s essential to nurture relationships that support your well-being and distance yourself from those that don’t. Your nervous system, and your whole self, will thank you for it.

06/26/2024

🌿Our nervous system is deeply influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. Healthy connections and co-regulation are essential for feeling at home within ourselves. When these are missing, distress can settle into our nervous system, leading to defensive responses like heightened alertness or shutting down.

Belonging and nurturing relationships where we feel truly seen, felt, and heard are vital. These connections can shift our nervous system back to a state of safety, especially after trauma. This healing can happen with close relationships, caring professionals, and moments of connection within our community.

Co-regulation happens when we attune to another person, allowing our internal state to resonate with theirs. It’s not about being needy; it’s biologically essential. Even with healthy self-regulation, our nervous system craves co-regulation.

During tough times, attunement from a calm, regulated person can quickly bring us from survival mode to a state of safety and ease. This boosts our emotional health and supports the healing of our brain and body.

We aren’t wired to thrive alone. Supportive social networks enhance our psychological well-being and can prevent disease. Strengthening our relational web and supporting each other builds resilience and healthy communities.

Even in difficult times, co-regulation can help us find our way back to a sense of home. Reflect on who helps you feel a sense of belonging – a friend, partner, teacher, doctor, therapist, or even a pet.

Let’s nurture those connections and spaces that bring comfort and ease. Our nervous system, and our whole self, will thank us. ❤️✌🏾✨

06/21/2024

❤️‍🩹Grief is a profound and often overwhelming experience. Finding the right words can be challenging, but compassionate and validating statements can make a world of difference.

When offering these supportive statements, it’s important to ensure you can follow through. Saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” is only helpful if you genuinely can provide that support. Even with the best intentions, hollow promises can add to the grieving person’s burden.

As a somatic-based practitioner and mental health therapist, I emphasize the importance of self-awareness and self-regulation. When holding space for someone navigating grief, it’s natural for your own emotions to surface. It’s essential to regulate your own nervous system to stay calm and present. Here are a few somatic practices to help you stay grounded:

• Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to soothe your nervous system.
• Grounding Exercises: Feel the support of the ground beneath your feet or the chair you’re sitting on.
• Body Scans: Check in with your body to notice areas of tension and consciously relax them.

By caring for your own emotional and physical well-being, you can better support others through their grief. Your presence, compassion, and genuine support truly make a difference. ❤️✌🏾✨

06/18/2024

🌿 Understanding Grief from a Somatic Perspective 🌿

Grief touches every part of us—our minds, our bodies, our hearts. It’s essential to understand what grief is, how it differs from depression, and the importance of embracing both the grieving and mourning processes.

1️⃣ What is Grief? - Grief is a profound response to any significant loss, deeply affecting our nervous system.
2️⃣ The Body’s Response to Grief - Grief can overwhelm our capacity to cope, triggering various physical symptoms.
3️⃣ Triggers of Grief - Grief can be triggered by various life changes, not just death.
4️⃣ Grief vs. Depression - Grief is a natural, healing process; depression is a state where the nervous system shuts down.
5️⃣ Grieve and Mourn - Grieving happens inside us, while mourning is how we express our grief outwardly.
6️⃣ Disconnection from Mourning - Our fast-paced society often disconnects us from the mourning process.
7️⃣ Embrace Our Roots - Reconnect with traditional mourning practices for natural healing.

Let’s honor our body’s wisdom and navigate the grief journey together. Remember, it’s okay to seek support and take the time you need to heal. 🌱

06/14/2024

🌿Boundaries are our gentle guardians, shielding our nervous system from toxic situations and relationships. They teach others how to honor our needs and guide us in recognizing when we need protection.

Setting boundaries can feel daunting for many of us with insecure attachment styles, rooted in fears of rejection, judgment, or loss. Attachment trauma often triggers a fawn response, where we instinctively appease others to avoid conflict.

Repeated boundary violations or our struggle to enforce them can stir inner turmoil—feelings of guilt, self-blame, and shame, alongside resentment and a loss of personal agency in relationships. Effectively communicating our needs empowers us to advocate for ourselves, discern who respects our boundaries, and create meaningful accountability. This practice nurtures mutual respect and gently releases those who do not honor our boundaries.

Listening attentively to connect with our bodies cultivates healthier relationships and a harmonious nervous system, enriching our overall well-being. 🌿

👉🏾Follow for further insights into mindfulness and somatic healing. Let’s journey towards well-being together! ❤️✌🏾✨

06/11/2024

🌿 Therapy is more than just talking—it’s about understanding, healing, and growth. While your therapist guides the session and provides direction, especially at the beginning, it’s also important to communicate your needs. This mutual guidance helps you feel more in control and autonomous in your sessions.

✨ By expressing what you need from a session, you can ensure that your therapy is tailored to your specific goals and concerns. This approach can reduce any frustration that might arise if you feel you’re not getting what you need.

👉🏾Swipe left to discover 20 topics you can advocate to explore in your sessions!

💬 Let me know in the comments which topics resonate with you the most, or share any other topics you’d like to explore in therapy! therapist

06/08/2024

🌿 6 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System 🌿

Our nervous system is at the heart of how we respond to stress and connect with the world around us. Understanding and nurturing it can bring more calm and resilience into our lives. Here are six gentle practices to help you regulate your nervous system:

1. Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you feel relaxed and calm.
2. Vagal Toning Exercises: Humming, singing, or chanting can stimulate your vagus nerve, reducing stress and promoting balance.
3. Grounding Techniques: Connect with the earth by walking barefoot or imagining your roots growing into the ground. This can help you feel centered and secure.
4. Gentle Movement: Engage in activities like yoga, deep stretching , or mindful walking. These movements release tension and support nervous system regulation.
5. Safe Social Connection: Spend time with loved ones or engage in positive social interactions. Feeling safe and connected with others can activate your social engagement system and soothe your nerves.
6. Somatic Practices: Techniques like body scanning help you tune into your body’s sensations and release stored tension, enhancing your nervous system’s balance.

These practices are loving ways to support your body’s natural ability to manage stress and find balance. I’d love to hear from you – what helps you regulate your nervous system? Share your favorite practices in the comments below. Let’s learn and grow together on this journey to resilience and well-being. ❤️✌🏾✨

👉 Follow for more insights and tips on nurturing your mental health and well-being.

06/07/2024

Our brains are incredible powerhouses, designed to keep us alive and protected at any cost. They have built-in mechanisms to help manage life’s stressors and traumatic experiences . However, even these amazing systems have their limits. When faced with chronic stress and trauma, changes in brain functioning can lead to mental distress and maladaptive behaviors.

The more we understand how our brains function, the better equipped we are to support its natural ability to protect us and heal. Through therapeutic approaches such as mindfulness, somatic experiencing, EMDR, etc we can nurture our brain’s resilience and overall well-being. Let’s embark on this healing journey together. ❤️✌🏾✨

Swipe through to learn more about protecting your brain and nurturing your mental health. 🌿

👉🏾Follow for more insights and practical tips on mental health and healing from trauma and grief.

06/03/2024

🌿 Discover the Healing Power of Somatic Experiencing 🌿

Have you ever felt like your body holds onto stress and trauma, even when your mind tries to move on? That’s because trauma can become trapped in the body, causing a disconnection between mind and body. Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a transformative approach that helps you reconnect with your body’s natural healing abilities. By focusing on bodily sensations, SE gently releases stored tension and trauma, leading to profound emotional and physical well-being.

💫 What to Expect in This Carousel:

1. What is SE? - An introduction to Somatic Experiencing.
2. How SE Works - Techniques like grounding, titration, and pendulation.
3. Historical Roots - The connection between SE and Indigenous healing practices.
4. Deconstructing Western Approaches - Seeing beyond diagnoses.
5. SE and the Nervous System - Balancing fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses.
6. The Importance of SE - Embracing holistic healing and resilience.
7. Empowerment - Personal and community healing.

✨ Swipe through to learn more and let us walk alongside each other on the path to holistic healing. As a trauma and grief specialist, I’m here to provide the guidance you need. Together, we can honor our bodies, understand our minds, and embrace a compassionate approach to trauma recovery.

👉🏾 Follow us for more insights and practical tips on integrating Somatic practices into your life. Let’s heal together!

05/31/2024

Hi everyone! 🌞 It’s time for a spring time refresh with new pictures and new energy! Allow me to reintroduce myself.

I’m Tameka, a licensed clinical social worker at with a deep passion for empowering and educating women about the relationship between grief, trauma, and the mind-body connection.

As a trauma and grief specialist, I use EMDR and Somatic Experiencing (SE) to help clients reconnect with their bodies and heal from trauma and grief. As a brain-wise therapist, I also educate about how trauma affects the brain and the nervous system, helping to alleviate trauma symptoms.

My specialties include infertility, pregnancy loss, and complex and generational trauma. I also hold a deep passion for assisting other Black women like myself thrive and enhance their mental well-being.

Below in the comments, I’ve included some fun facts. Share a fun fact about yourself or just say hi in the comments ❤️✨💬

📸 Photo credit:

08/26/2022

08/19/2022

At Charlotte Women’s Counseling, we understand the complexity of needs that are often unmet to due to lack of information, funding, and/or resources that often causes additional anxiety, fear, and pressure to individuals during the perinatal period. As we help individuals navigate their journey to ensure that their emotional needs are cared for, as well as provided with links to additional supports with individualized treatment planning. ⁣
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The purpose of our event is to connect this vision and system⁣
of care & support with our community by extending our knowledge and resources.⁣
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We are asking the community to join us to fight the stigma, reduce disparities of adequate care, and gather in support on 9/17/22 to participate in are climb. Please click the link in the bio to learn of additional ways to support our event as a donor or sponsor. ⁣
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