17/05/2025
ONE. FIVE. Two hands representing FIFTEEN years of sobriety. It's impossible to truly boil down the representation of how my life has changed in these 15 years by just holding up two hands. So, here's a part of my story that some of you know but many don't.
Most importantly, this is for those who are still struggling, who have given up hope, who's family's are hurting and grieving, who have lost more than they knew they could, who don't know if they can or even want to make it to tomorrow, and especially those who are afraid to ask for help. I see you. I was you. And you're not alone. You won't get you won't get your life back. I promise you that's a fact. Instead, you'll get a better life. It'll be better than you ever could have imagined, you just don't know it yet.
I never thought I'd find the woman I am today. And with even more honesty, I wasn't sure I wanted to live long enough to try and look for her either. I was in a very dark place for what felt like a century. It was heavy and I was tired of carrying the load. So so tired. It was honestly the only thing I could muster to say in those last few days before getting sober. I'm just so tired. My family was worried. My friends were worried. To be fair, just about everyone was. But, I made it just a few more days. One thing you should know about me is that when I do something, good or bad, I give it everything I've got.
Every day was a victory. And, then I achieved an even bigger victory. I got on a plane to head to the middle of nowhere Texas to start an intensive impatient treatment program. It's a 4 week treatment program. I was there for 5 weeks and 3 days, after all I've always been an over achiever of sorts. I was there longer because at just 19 years old, my detox process took almost 11 days. The national average is 7. I'm not proud of that but I am proud of myself for making it through. But I still wasn't finished.
After 5 weeks and 3 days, my work still wasn't done. I needed to get better and stay better, it was my only chance at making this thing called life work. I will not give the illusion I was thrilled about this. I wasn't.
Continued in comments...
