Thing Parents dont want to Hear, but need too

03/01/2022

There's alot going on in the world right now. And with everything plaguing society you'd think the people closest to you would be building you up. Well, you'd be very very wrong.

My parents are toxic and narcissistic. Nothing I do is ever enough, is right, and I am always the scapegoat. Theyve never once held themselves accountable for their actions or how horrendously they have raised me. I have no escape but my own mind and imagination. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a famous movie star with thousands of amazing fans and friends who love me and think my life has value. Or I like to pretend I'm a talented singer and songwriter like Taylor Swift or members of Broadway shows. I used to think these fantasies could be made possible, that I could live in a life where I could feel wanted and love. Not ridiculed and hated. There of course would be those trying to make me feel bad and discredit my success but it would be worth it because I wouldnt be struggling living paycheck to paycheck under the roof of my abusers and gaslighters.
But life isnt a Fairytale fantasy and the more constant that the mental, verbal, and emotional abuse becomes the harder it is to forget the reality of my situation. I guess it could be worse , I could be an orphan on the streets of a big city begging businessman and women for change and going to shelters for a hot meal and a place to rest my eyes for the night. Too that orphan my situation seems ridiculous, and I an ingrate. But I would trade them any day, if it meant a day where I didnt have to worry if I were to be woken with shouting and belittlement or loving attentiveness.
For a while now it's been the ladder, I rather recieve the love and affection of my parents., and forget about praise I've seen none of that. In their eyes i cant do anything, I'm merely a money sucking leech and thorn in their side. I take up space but give nothing in return. I've tried to but my offers have fallen on seemingly deaf ears. Dont get me wrong, I love my parents. But loving them has caused me more harm then good.

There is more going on in the world then what we see upon the surface, and I know that I am not the only child who's been treated this way by their parents. We've been tossed aside and treated like lesser then human after we have developed and discovered our own thoughts and opinions. Once we've stopped being their little dress up dolls which garnered attention from passing strangers, we became footnotes to them. A constant reminder of how we are in their debt, and we owe them the world. When in reality we dont.
Children dont ask to be born, adults choose to have them. Yet treat them as burdens instead of blessing. Puppets not people.
But children. Are not slaves, are bot puppets, toys, pets, or burdens. They are human beings which you, the parents, have chosen to have. To bring into the world not to pass on generational trauma and pain but to nurture and love to the best you can not the best you are willing or think is enough.

Your children are not you, they are not maids, cooks, servants, a source of income, a play thing, or your scapegoat.

You do not get to belittle them to make yourself feel better for your wrongdoing, mistakes, or failures.

If your child is depressed, timid, scared, or shy around you, about telling you how they feel. Then you have failed as a parent. And that is not on your child, it's on you.

Mental health service