01/18/2025
When I am dying, I don’t want the last sounds I hear to be machines beeping and alarms going off telling me what I already know, which is that my body is shutting down and I am dying.
I don’t want machines keeping me alive.
I don’t want machines feeding me.
I don’t want to feel the suffocation of the blood pressure cuff as it squeezes my arm every hour on the hour.
I don’t want IV’s stuck in my arms, or tubes down my throat.
I don’t want other people making decisions for me.
I don’t want to be in a room that isn’t mine, with a view of medical charts and notes stating when I had my last bowel movement, when my medications are due, or how many times I have been turned and repositioned, which by the way is obnoxious when you are dying and I definitely do not want that.
I don’t want fluorescent lights on above my head, forcing me to keep my eyes closed so they don’t burn from the glare.
I don’t want people walking into my room as though it is theirs and not mine.
I don’t want strangers telling me what to do or how to feel or treating me like I don’t have feelings.
I don't want people to talk over or about me as if I can't hear. I can hear and I will hear you!
I don’t want my family to wait day after day in a stark hospital room knowing there is nothing else anyone can do but wait.
This is not how I want to die.
This is not how I want the people who love me to see me die.
I have written down everything that is important to me so that none of the above ever occurs.
I have listed where I want to be, who I want there, what music I want to hear, how I want to be cared for, what I want to wear, how I want my symptoms managed, and to what extent I want people to go to keep me alive.
When I am dying, I want my wishes honored, my voice heard, and my death peaceful.
I want this for you too!
Please write down your wishes and share them with the people you love.
Have the conversation.
Talk to your family and friends.
I promise you… it won’t happen sooner because you talked about it.
When I am dying, I don’t want the last sounds I hear to be machines beeping and alarms going off telling me what I already know, which is that my body is shutting down and I am dying. I don’t want machines keeping me alive.I don’t want machines feeding me.I don’t want to feel the suffocation...
