Autumn Leaves Doula

09/10/2025

09/07/2025

Amber Hughes is a seasoned Hospice RN and friend. I wanted to share this insight from her.

From Amber:

I need to climb up on my hospice soapbox for a minute, because this needs to be said…
Healthcare needs a reality check.
Aggressive treatment is not always the answer. Chasing every procedure, every medication, every intervention doesn’t mean we’re “caring more.” Sometimes it means we’re taking away peace, dignity, and quality of life. Choosing comfort care is not quitting. It’s not giving up. It’s a deliberate choice for how someone wants to live the time they have left.
And let’s be clear: the ONLY person who has the right to make that choice is the PATIENT (or their POA). Period.
Doctors and nurses: stop shaming people for decisions you don’t agree with. Stop forcing your idea of what’s “right” just because you don’t understand hospice or what it really offers. Do better. Educate yourself. Ask questions.
Until that happens, I’ll keep standing in ERs at 1 a.m. battling with providers who think they know better than the patient. I’ll keep speaking up for those who can’t speak. And I’ll keep being the “family” at the bedside when the real one is thousands of miles away feeling helpless, dismissed and unheard. Because distance should never mean a patient loses their advocate.
Comfort care isn’t weakness. It isn’t surrender. It’s strength. It’s courage. It’s owning the final chapter instead of letting medicine write it in chaos. And if that truth makes providers uncomfortable, then good because it means you finally have to confront what real patient-centered care looks like!

01/18/2025

When I am dying, I don’t want the last sounds I hear to be machines beeping and alarms going off telling me what I already know, which is that my body is shutting down and I am dying.

I don’t want machines keeping me alive.
I don’t want machines feeding me.
I don’t want to feel the suffocation of the blood pressure cuff as it squeezes my arm every hour on the hour.
I don’t want IV’s stuck in my arms, or tubes down my throat.
I don’t want other people making decisions for me.

I don’t want to be in a room that isn’t mine, with a view of medical charts and notes stating when I had my last bowel movement, when my medications are due, or how many times I have been turned and repositioned, which by the way is obnoxious when you are dying and I definitely do not want that.

I don’t want fluorescent lights on above my head, forcing me to keep my eyes closed so they don’t burn from the glare.

I don’t want people walking into my room as though it is theirs and not mine.

I don’t want strangers telling me what to do or how to feel or treating me like I don’t have feelings.

I don't want people to talk over or about me as if I can't hear. I can hear and I will hear you!

I don’t want my family to wait day after day in a stark hospital room knowing there is nothing else anyone can do but wait.
This is not how I want to die.
This is not how I want the people who love me to see me die.

I have written down everything that is important to me so that none of the above ever occurs.
I have listed where I want to be, who I want there, what music I want to hear, how I want to be cared for, what I want to wear, how I want my symptoms managed, and to what extent I want people to go to keep me alive.

When I am dying, I want my wishes honored, my voice heard, and my death peaceful.
I want this for you too!

Please write down your wishes and share them with the people you love.
Have the conversation.
Talk to your family and friends.
I promise you… it won’t happen sooner because you talked about it.

When I am dying, I don’t want the last sounds I hear to be machines beeping and alarms going off telling me what I already know, which is that my body is shutting down and I am dying. I don’t want machines keeping me alive.I don’t want machines feeding me.I don’t want to feel the suffocation...

04/19/2024

It’s been an amazing experience. I’m grateful to all the End of Life Doulas that have helped me learn and grow during my journey in this field. It is always an honor and a privilege to work alongside others experiencing their last chapter. My only regret is that I wished I’d known my clients longer.

02/15/2024

I love this message.

09/18/2023

The way you choose to die matters. Make it perfectly clear to your loved ones what your wishes are.

08/15/2023

I was just texting with a sister of a client. She just gave me the most amazing compliment. This is what it is all about.

"You made the most positive difference for us both. Glad others like her are receiving the benefit of your TLC during their end of life. You are truly special ❤".