08/09/2025
We can't toss our horses out in a field for retirement and say they're having the time of their life.
It is a constant eb and flow, what works today might not work next week. As involved horse owners we ask ourselves - Do we need to change their feed? Do they need it soaked? More forage? More feed? Will they eat that supplement? Or would an injectable med help those stiff joints? Do they need more movement? More bodywork? Change their feeding position? Is the herd too large? Is the grass too green? What is their metabolic status? How are their feet? Is their skin too sensitive for that fly spray now? Why is it so hard for them to stand for the farrier? Are they declining cognitively?
Windy is still working on the "gentleness" portion of her golden years. She is often high stress - tented eye, a neck taught with stress lines, a pinched mouth. As an OTTB, poll trauma that predates our meeting is coming to bite us in the butt now. When she has a bad day, I'm constantly searching for the reason why. Making small adjustments here and there to suit her needs. "How can I make you more comfortable in mind and body?" Is a question I bring to the table for her daily. Sometimes she just wants to be left to her own devices, and I respect that. One day when the bad days out number the good, we will make a decision together. Up until and including that final day, her needs are my needs. Her bad days are my bad days. But, dating back to 2002, we also share all those good days together 💜
What a privilege it is…
…to watch the first few white hairs appear around a horse’s eyes, the face you’ve known for years. Maybe since they were a gangly youngster, or perhaps only in more recent seasons. Either way, you’ve become their constant.
One day, as you run your hand up along their face and brush aside their forelock, you notice something different. A few grey hairs, soft yet stubborn, threaded through the colour you’ve always known. Just a smattering, almost as if they were dabbed on with a brush when your back was turned.
And they stop you in your tracks.
Because there it is.
The first, quiet whisper of time.
There’s a particular kind of privilege in caring for an older horse. Not just the honour of fulfilling their everyday needs. But the deeper, quieter privilege… being the one who will walk beside them as they soften with age. The one whose hands they will come to rely on completely. The one who will know them for the rest of their life.
They won’t be passed along. They won’t be asked to start over with someone new. They’ll only ever know your care, your routine, your way of doing things. Until the day they take their last breath. That’s something profound.
Not everyone gets to be the person who holds space for a horse’s entire arc. You see the wonder of youth, the steadiness of middle age, and the gentleness that so often comes with time. Not everyone chooses it. Not everyone can. But for those of us who do…
…what a privilege it is.
To know them, not just when they were strong and sound and “useful,” but when they slow down and ask for a little more patience. A little more help. A little more softness. To be their person, not just for the ride, but also for the parts of the journey where you walk side by side, even for the times you carry the most weight for them instead.
Because even as their bodies change, their hearts don’t. The bond grows stronger and deeper and even more familiar.
What a privilege it is.
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©️Lauren Johnson Graveney Equine: Horse Track System - dedicated to Jasper who has graced us with the first few grey hairs this year. With us forever 💚
