Willow Tree Therapeutic Services, LLC

02/16/2022

Such a great visual of helping little ones regulate their big emotions.
Having a calm presence can have such a profound impact on helping little ones regulate their emotions and feel safe to express them!

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Not every child wants to be hugged, but every child wants to know that we can handle their big emotions and be a calming presence whenever they need us. 💗
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This is such a great visual of co-regulation. Of course sometimes your child won't want to be held and don't force it. But if we can stay calm, meet the feeling not the behaviour then co-regulation can happen. When we hold our child there is a physical change. Their nervous system will mirror ours. We just have to wait for the fire to go out.
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HT The Therapist Parent

03/21/2021

Happy Sunday. As you prepare for the week ahead add this quick little thought adjustment and see how it changes your perspective this week.

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01/25/2021

Mindfulness Monday!

Monday Morning Mindfulness:

01/21/2021

As frustrated as we might get with our children this is such an important lesson for them. We all make mistakes and have our moments but a parents unconditional love can lay the foundation for secure attachments in the future.

I remember coming across this idea of practising unconditional love when my son was a baby. We all love our kids to bits, and it's easy for us to say that and for us to feel it...but what really matters is how they feel. And no matter how much we love them, if our actions run counter to that we step into the realms of conditional love.
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Actions that are encouraged so loudly by mainstream parenting culture. Cry it out, time out, punishment, threats, rewards, praise.
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All of these conventional discipline habits communicate to a child that we love them for what they DO, not who they ARE. Even when that's totally not true! It doesn't matter. What a child experiences is that we 'love' them when they're 'good' and not so much when they 'bad'.
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Even praise is a slippery slope to conditionality - we 'love' them more when they perform, when they get good grades or when they colour inside the lines. Praise also teaches kids to look for external validation, to look outside themselves when what we really want to teach is intrinsic motivation.
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So, 'love' those kids when they're at their worst because that is when they need us most, that is when they're testing our love.
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Can my mum love me when I yell at her that I hate her?
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Can my dad love me when I'm melting down?
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Bring it on kid is what I say - that's when I earn my parenting stripes. That's when I prove my love, that's when I prove that he is never too much for me to handle, that I don't take anything he says personally. That no matter how ugly and chaotic and unpredictable growing up can be, that I will not waver.
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I won't always have the answer - most of the time I won't actually! But I am always willing to BE his answer. So follow your heart, prioritise connection above all else and love those kids silly. 💛

01/12/2021

YES 🙌

We are all human and sometimes we lose it but those moments are such great teaching moments for not only kids but also adults. By following these suggestions you model taking responsibility, effective communication, and repair the relationship.

I love moments when I get to own my mistakes! At the end of the day we are only human and no perfect people exist here.

No matter the blow up the most important piece to do the repair work!!

Happy Tuesday!