Amanda Ann Gregory - Trauma Therapist

11/17/2025

It’s common for trauma therapy and chosen family estrangement to go hand-in-hand. Some trauma survivors begin therapy already estranged from family; others choose estrangement during or after treatment. Estrangement may be brief, longer term, or permanent. Regardless of duration, trauma therapists frequently work with survivors who choose estrangement so frequently that anti-estrangement advocates often claim therapy causes estrangement.

This allegation isn’t true as the goal of trauma therapy is to treat trauma, not to initiate family estrangement. Yet, trauma therapy also does not seek to end estrangements or prevent them from occurring. In fact, several aspects of trauma treatment naturally support survivors in making decisions, including family estrangement, that prioritize their safety and well-being.

Once trauma survivors gain clarity about what keeps them safe, nurtures them, and aligns with their worth, family estrangement may be needed.

11/13/2025

Sign up for my course!

In trauma work, forgiveness often comes up with clients. They’ve heard things like “you need to forgive to heal.”

If you’re like most therapists you’re not sure there’s even a clear definition of forgiveness – or what role if any it should play in treatment.

Here’s the thing. If you get forgiveness in therapy wrong you can do a lot of damage … especially if clients think you’re asking them to “let it go”, make peace with an abuser, or that forgiveness is some kind of “required step” on the journey to trauma recovery.

But when explored gently and on the client’s terms – forgiveness can become a powerful tool. The key is knowing if, when, and how to bring it into the work.

Now with this one-day training Amanda Ann Gregory, author of You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms will help make it all clear with the clinical insights and practical strategies you need to navigate forgiveness in a way that supports, rather than derails, your clients’ healing.

When you register, you’ll get

A clear understanding of what forgiveness is – and what it’s not – in trauma therapy
The latest research on forgiveness, where it helps and where it harms
Guidance on if, when and how forgiveness should even be explored with your client
Strategies that welcome anger and embrace appropriate blame
Forgiveness interventions that are client-led and never forced or premature
Forgiveness will come up in therapy, and you can’t afford to get it wrong.

With this one-day training Amanda Ann Gregory, author of You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms will help make it all clear with the clinical insights and practical strategies yo

11/13/2025

Avoid saying: But they’re your family, Forgive them, and Every family has problems.

Family estrangement isn’t a topic that everyone can safely discuss. If you want to discuss it safely, consider these tips.

11/08/2025

A one-sided disappointing article from Psychology Today. I wrote a strongly worded letter…

Dear Editor Mariano,

I am a complex trauma treatment specialist and the author of You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms. I also advocate for trauma survivors experiencing family estrangement.

In your article, you wrote that some of the causes of estrangement are “Well beyond abuse and direct harm, young adults cite unmet emotional needs, violated boundaries, lack of emotional support,” implying that these reasons may be less valid than experiences of abuse or harm. However, they are equally valid. In my experience, many caregivers who fail to meet their adult children’s emotional needs, violate their boundaries, and are unable to offer emotional support have struggled with these same limitations throughout their parenting. As a result, many of their children have experienced developmental trauma and although they may not be currently physical or emotional abusive their continue to experience trauma responses that are very much in the present.

You also wrote that “estrangement is rarely a remedy.” I respectfully disagree. I have observed many clients make significant therapeutic progress during periods of family estrangement. Many trauma survivors have stated that they would never have felt safe enough to engage in trauma work without creating that distance. Some later chose to reconnect with their families, while others did not.

I am currently writing an evidence-based clinical book that supports family estrangement as a valid and, at times, necessary step in trauma recovery. This work aims to challenge the stigma surrounding estrangement and to give clinicians permission to support it when it aligns with their clients’ needs.

Please let me know if Psychology Today would be interested in publishing another perspective on this important topic.

Cut-offs cut deep and wide, their emotional impact reverberating far beyond the combatants. Because much of the suffering is hidden, repair is challenging for everyone, not least of all therapists.

11/06/2025

Why would an ethical therapist support their client’s decision to estrange from their family? Here are three common reasons.

Why would a therapist support their client’s decision to estrange themselves from their family? Family estrangement can be beneficial to many.

10/26/2025

Family estrangement isn’t a topic that everyone can safely discuss. The best way to support someone who’s chosen it is by offering acceptance instead of advice, curiosity instead of criticism, and focusing on their beliefs about family instead of your own.

Are you a safe person to discuss family estrangement?

Avoid saying:
* “But they’re your family.”
* “Family is everything.”
* “You only get one father/mother/grandparent.”

Say:
* “What are your beliefs about family?”
* “This must have been a hard decision.”
* “You deserve relationships that feel safe and valuable.”

Avoid saying:
* “Every family has problems.”
* “My family has made mistakes too, but I still talk to them.”
* “They never abused/hurt/wronged me.”

Instead, say:
* “I believe you, even if my experience was different.”
* “I trust that you know what’s best for you.”
* “It sounds like your family relationships are painful.”

Avoid saying:
* “You should try to forgive them.”
* “If they’ve changed, could you give them another chance?”
* “You’ll feel better if you reach out.”

Instead, say:
* “Do you want or need my input?”
* “Healing can look different for everyone. What do you need to heal?”
* “How can I support you right now?”

10/26/2025

Are you a safe person to discuss family estrangement?

Family estrangement isn’t a topic that everyone can safely discuss. The best way to support someone who’s chosen it is by offering acceptance instead of advice, curiosity instead of criticism, and focusing on their beliefs about family instead of your own.

You can safely discuss family estrangement by avoiding harmful clichés and embracing empathy, understanding, and acceptance.

10/20/2025

Podcast appearance!

In 'You Don’t Need to Forgive,' author Amanda Ann Gregory examines the misconceptions surrounding forgiveness, the nature of trauma, and the importance of relationships in recovery

10/18/2025

Don’t tell me therapy isn’t political and don’t expect me to follow an outdated inhumane conceptualization of professionalism that was created for and by privileged clinicians.

Therapy IS Political because:
1. Systems shape suffering: Trauma can stem from systemic problems such as racism, sexism, poverty, and inequality, so addressing clients’ pain means confronting political realities that create or sustain that pain.
2. Access and privilege: Who can afford therapy, find culturally competent care, or even trust health systems is influenced by political decisions about healthcare funding, insurance, and policy.
3. Values and power: Therapists operate within social norms and institutional rules about what’s considered “healthy” or “normal,” which are shaped by dominant political and cultural ideologies.
4. Advocacy and ethics: Ethical therapy often requires advocating for clients in unjust systems.
5. Silence as stance: Claiming therapy is “apolitical” can itself be a political choice, one that upholds the status quo rather than questioning it.

10/16/2025

Honored to be a guest on What Your Therapist is Reading, hosted by Jessica Fowler.

In this episode of What Your Therapist is Reading, host Jessica Fowler speaks with Amanda Ann Gregory about her book ‘You Don’t Need To Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms.’ Amanda, a trauma psychotherapist, discusses all things forgiveness. They explore Amanda’s definition of forgiveness as a fluid, process-oriented experience rather than a definitive end-point. The conversation extends to Amanda’s personal and professional journey dealing with trauma, the importance of finding safety before addressing forgiveness, and practical ways trauma survivors can address external pressures to forgive. The episode includes a discussion of therapeutic strategies for trauma recovery, including EMDR, somatic therapy, and community support groups. Both trauma survivors and clinicians are encouraged to approach forgiveness and healing with flexibility and openness.

10/16/2025

Honored to be a guest on What Your Therapist is Reading, hosted by Jessica Fowler.

In this episode of What Your Therapist is Reading, host Jessica Fowler speaks with Amanda Ann Gregory about her book 'You Don't Need To Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms.' Amanda, a trauma psychotherapist, discusses all things forgiveness. They explore Amanda's definition of forgiveness as a fluid, process-oriented experience rather than a definitive end-point. The conversation extends to Amanda's personal and professional journey dealing with trauma, the importance of finding safety before addressing forgiveness, and practical ways trauma survivors can address external pressures to forgive. The episode includes a discussion of therapeutic strategies for trauma recovery, including EMDR, somatic therapy, and community support groups. Both trauma survivors and clinicians are encouraged to approach forgiveness and healing with flexibility and openness.

In this episode of What Your Therapist is Reading, host Jessica Fowler speaks with Amanda Ann Gregory about her book 'You Don't Need To Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms.' Amanda, a trauma psychotherapist, discusses all things forgiveness. They explore Amanda's definition of forgiveness as

10/12/2025

Childhood medical neglect stole my ability to run. Two years ago, I had surgery to repair the damage, and yesterday I crossed the finish line of my first 5K with a time of 30:32. Trauma isn’t healed; it’s integrated, transformed, and reborn as post-traumatic growth.