Chicago Loss Doula

05/03/2022

05/03/2022

05/03/2022

03/05/2014

A compassionate article about home death care for infants.

Parents are reclaiming a tradition they find soothing, fulfilling, & meaningful.

10/16/2013

A commenter on my post about child death and pregnancy loss expressed concern about how to talk to a grieving parent. I think many people might be interested in the answer, so here's what I wrote:

I obviously can't speak for every parent, but I think it's safe to say that most grieving people would appreciate hearing 'I am so sorry,' and that they are not alone on this journey.

Asking them about their child gives them the choice to say 'Not now' or to open up... but as a grieving parent, we feel SUCH strong cultural messages to keep quiet, don't bring people down, get over it already. We are supposed to hide our feelings about not only missing our kids, but even the fact that they ever existed, that we love them and did our best to parent them for the short time we had them.

Each child has a story, even if it's cut short, and each parent has that story etched in their heart. Sharing that story gives it light and sweetness and community, and can be such a loving way to help your friend heal from their broken heart."

So, YES! It is OK to ask about your friend's baby, the baby's name, birth story, mom's/dad's dreams, how they are doing, if there is a memorial/celebration of life, where donations can be given in the child's name, if the parents need childcare/meals/laundry/housecleaning/errands... don't say "Call me if you need anything," because they won't be able to think of anything. Instead, say something like, "I'll be by on Thursday with a casserole, or would another day be better?"

And thank you all for being there for your hurting friends and family members! And for working with us to help change the old paradigm... it's about time!

10/16/2013

This is not just a statistic. I am the face of child and pregnancy death. 1 in 4 women will miscarry, have a stillborn child, or face early infant death. Sadly, our culture makes the discussion of child loss taboo. People feel uncomfortable discussing such a sensitive subject. As a mother who has experienced two miscarriages, let me say, "Please talk to me about my children." You won’t upset me. Any tears will be those of joy, knowing that my children are still remembered by someone. Parents that have lost a child at any time are still parents. They have an abundance of love for the child that never leaves their hearts or minds.

October is Pregnancy/Infant Death Awareness month. Today, October 15th, is the day designated to remember all the babies who were gone too soon.

End the cycle of awkward silence. Reach out to the mother or father you know that has lost a child and say,” I remember. I honor your child today.”

If you need more information or support during your grieving, please go to http://www.missfoundation.org/ -- they are wonderful people who are all walking their own paths of loss and grief and healing. You are not alone!

I remember my babies, and honor yours as well.

We can help you find support & resources after the death of a child, no matter their age or cause of death. We offer free family packets, HOPE mentor matches, support groups, counseling, and more. Click the image above to find out more.

10/16/2013

Support for families facing pregnancy loss, based in the Chicago area.

See this Go Daddy InstantPage®! http://lossdoula.com. Get yours free with a domain name at GoDaddy.com. Traditionally, doulas assist new mothers during pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period. But sometimes things don't go the way we hope, and families are suddenly faced with situations they nev...