06/20/2025
these are amazing…
Things I Never Imagined HEARING
Until I Had Neurodivergent Kids...
👂 😳 🦻 🙉 😵💫
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*Mom, people in the men's bathroom are kind of rude.
Do you know,
that if you ask the person who's using the urinal right next to you, what their favorite species of frog is--
they will just run away?
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*My camp counselor wants to talk to you.
I don't know why.
I definitely DIDN'T climb 30 feet up a tree.
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*I WASN'T being inappropriate at library story hour!
She was reading Curious George. I just raised my hand and said she was normalizing colonialism.
George is okay but the Man in the Yellow Hat is problematic.
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*The customs agent asked if I had anything to declare, so I DID.
I told her that I could fit 7 kittens in my pants, comfortably. And 10 if I don't sit down.
I don't know why you are upset.
I used declarative sentences, just like we learned about in school and I wasn't even rude!
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*We tried to separate the children into 2 teams, boys and girls.
But your son and daughter didn't want to be separated, and asked if they could BOTH be in the boy's group.
We didn't mind.
Eleanor joined the boys but apparently took team loyalty quite seriously.
And THAT'S why she is coming home with a permanent marker mustache drawn on her upper lip.
I've got to be honest. I think the kids thought a smaller mustache would be subtle.
But it's not subtle. It's giving "Adolf."
And we wanted to ask your permission before ADDING more marker to her face, to make the mustache less triggering.
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*Can you come help us? We are having a little problem.
Charlie spilled some water and because he has an aversion to damp clothes, he removed his clothes. Yes. All of them.
But he didn't put anything else ON.
We asked him if he would like to get dressed so he could be more comfortable...
and he said, "No thank you," and is currently working on his subtraction worksheet.
We're not sure what to do.
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*Apparently, Charlie brought a small, shark specimen to school. Yes, that's right. The one in the jar.
Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but the music teacher was letting the kids tap out the rhythm to the "Baby Shark" song, this week.
And when Charlie held up the jar, during Baby Shark, in music class, it made a couple of the children, cry.
Mrs. Martinez will be in touch to give you a heads up about next week's song.
Charlie says he collects taxidermy and we would like to avoid future incidents.
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*Your daughter has been telling me some interesting facts.
What kind of television has she been watching? Some of her topics of interest were....a bit edgy.
Oh....the history of carrier pigeons? On Wikipedia? Well, okay.
I guess I didn't realize that would involve prison cartels, either.
