Carolyn Cole, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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United States
Chicago, IL
Carolyn Cole, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Providing psychotherapy services via telehealth to adults and couples living in Illinois.

My specialties include self-esteem, self love, self discovery, journey back to Self, spirituality, and dating & relationships.

09/21/2025

Our lives are comprised of stories. Stories others share with us, stories we tell others, and most importantly those stories we tell ourselves.

You can be the author of your own book and rewrite the story.

What are some of those automatic stories that pop into your mind or come through when you are sharing with others? They are likely stories you've been telling yourself a long time.

Where did they originate from? Maybe from another person from a long time ago; maybe it's a story that you've created about yourself; or maybe a story some wounded parts of yourself play over and over in your mind.

Take a moment to write out this story so you can see it on paper. This helps you to become aware of it and look at it more objectively. Then, take a step to edit the story. What is another perspective or another truth that you can bring in? As you embrace this new story and replay this over and over, this will then become your new story.

What is a new story you would like to begin to narrate for yourself?

09/15/2025

Relationships can not grow and evolve without the perception of safety. Otherwise, we are "on guard" with an activated nervous system. We can think of how safety helps a client progress in a therapeutic relationship. And also how our personal relationships transform.

The relationship is what exists between the people who are involved. If the relationship feels safe, it will be easier to be open, vulnerable, relaxed, and trusting, and this is what helps the relationship reach that turning point to grow and thrive.

Safety can feel different for different people. Some examples of safety can include things like feeling heard, understood, seen and wanting to be known, feeling supported, accepted and not judged, consistency, trust, feeling chosen, and knowing repairs will happen during times of ruptures and disconnection.

What creates a perception of safety in relationships for you? How has this helped create turning points in relationships you have been a part of?

09/14/2025

We can look at teams in a variety of ways. Maybe a sports team comes to mind for you initially? Or a team you are part of at work? We can also look at relationships and partnerships as being a team as well.

Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable when we're pushed, but it can be helpful to keep in mind that this can have to do with someone recognizing your potential. And, that they care about you and the success of team.

↪️Link in bio to learn about therapy services in Illinois. I am also starting a new speciality of working with athletes.

09/10/2025

And if you are struggling, immediate help is available by calling or texting 988.

09/06/2025

The pursuit of something meaningful can elicit feelings of happiness, but the pursuit of happiness might not always be meaningful. Happiness, like other emotions, can be fleeting, which is why many on the search for happiness often seek "the next thing." Meaning has more of a depth, curiosity, purpose, and groundedness to it.

09/03/2025

When you can bring your full self forward in your relationship, that is a sign of emotional safety. You trust you won't be judged and will be loved, seen, and accepted for simply being you!

On the contrary, when you feel like you need to shrink parts of yourself or filter who you are and how you show up to be accepted, or to not rock the boat, that doesn't feel very emotionally safe.

Your relationships should ideally help you step more into of who you are and help you show up as your favorite version of yourself.

How do you feel in your relationship(s)? This applies for romantic relationships but also family and friendships, too. Who are you when you show up as authentically you?

09/01/2025

Rolling your eyes is a form of contempt, per research done by the Gottman Institute.

Think about what it’s communicating from a non verbal perspective. Maybe something like a “really”, “seriously”, “again?!”, or “you’re so (insert degrading statement).” It’s degrading and at the core, it’s disrespect.

It’s important to be aware if you feel the urge to roll your eyes at your partner as it will only add fuel to the fire. Instead, ask questions. Try to understand what’s coming up on a deeper level for your partner. Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities and what you appreciate about them. This helps you to communicate in a respectful, caring, and loving way. ❤️

Photo credit: Kim Casali

08/31/2025

In relationships, it's important to ensure they are not so serious all of the time. Laughing and having fun moments and experiences together helps to increase your bond and creates some of those positive memories to reflect on. Science shows us that oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins are released through laughter.

If times have felt challenging in your relationship, what is a way you can bring in some fun as a way to reconnect? Or find the humor in something that you can both have a laugh over?

Be present with these moments and cherish them - consider them a "memory in the making." 🩷

08/30/2025

Getting engaged can be so exciting! The proposal, the romance, and vision of a shared life growing old together.

As that excitement stabilizes, life can feel real. The stress of planning the wedding, the challenges of life, or the conflicts that arise.

Your relationship can be resilient after navigating these challenges. This is where pre-marital counseling can be a great tool! Instead of winging it through some of these things without a plan, it can be a great way to learn some strategies and skills to get through these times more easily and quickly.

If you are engaged or thinking about getting engaged, pre-marital counseling can be a great training program to invest in. I use research based tools and interventions with the couples I work with. Link to learn more about working with me is in my bio.

08/27/2025

I'd imagine at the core, with many choices you're making, you are assessing safety and risk. Risk can be doing something different, out of your comfort zone, taking a chance, or feeling vulnerable. Whereas safety is what you already know, or very minimal risk involved, even if you're not happy.

Think back on a time you made a choice for the sake of progress and growth. It might have felt scary or you may have felt unsure in the beginning. But, what growth did you experience from taking that chance? Was it worth it for you?

As you make choices this week, pause and ask yourself if you're choosing safety or growth. This way it's not an automatic choice but one with thought and intention. How might you be able to start making a few more growth choices for yourself?

08/24/2025

Change is a constant aspect of life. Sometimes we choose changes and other times we can really resist change.

This quote speaks to the growth, change, and transformation you go through as a person when situations or circumstances change around you.

What follows your "I am" statements about yourself just might change as part of this as an aspect of redefining yourself through the process.

What are some of those changes you've seen in yourself as a result of your circumstances changing?

08/21/2025

The next time you find yourself feeling unhappy about a situation, ask yourself if there may be another perspective, or another story, to tell yourself about it.

The meaning we give to situations tends to have more of an impact on our emotions than the situation itself. And the meaning isn't always the truth of the situation.

Ask yourself what are some other possible ways to view the situation. Even if you may not believe them quite yet, opening up to the idea that there may be other possibilities can give a bit of relief.

Address

111 N Wabash Avenue, Suite 1203
Chicago, IL
60602

Website

https://linktr.ee/CarolynCole_Psychotherapist

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Our Story

Hi! I am a relationship therapist located in Chicago. My credentials include: I am a licensed psychotherapist in Chicago with a Masters Degree in Family Counseling and specialized training in Marriage and Family Therapy. I currently work as a psychotherapist in a private practice setting, working with individuals, couples, and families, and I also provide supervision to masters level therapists who are working towards their license. I am dually licensed with the LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist license) and the LCPC (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor license). I also have the National Certified Counselor (NCC) certification. This page is designed to share interesting articles and thoughts related to counseling, self-growth, families, and relationships. I also have some blog articles located at: https://carolyncolelcpc.blog/ Thanks so much for viewing my page and I hope you enjoy the posts!