Andelige Trauma Counseling & Consulting

02/10/2026

Trauma doesn't always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it whispers through the way we second-guess our own perceptions, or how we automatically shrink ourselves in conversations, or the exhaustion we feel from constantly managing other people's emotions.

Complex trauma especially works this way. It layers itself into how we relate to ourselves and others, often so quietly that we don't even notice it's there until we're burned out, disconnected, or wondering why nothing ever feels quite safe enough.

The thing I've learned is that healing from complex trauma isn't about forcing yourself to "get over it" or finding the one magical reframe. It's about gently, patiently learning to trust yourself again. It's about understanding how your nervous system learned to protect you, and then slowly, carefully, teaching it that you're safe now.

This work takes time. It takes compassion. And it absolutely takes support.

If you've been carrying wounds that run deep, please know that what you're feeling makes sense. Your reactions make sense. And there's a path forward that honors both your pain and your resilience.

What would it feel like to extend that same gentleness to yourself that you so naturally give to others? 💗

02/10/2026

There's something I've been noticing in sessions lately, and it's worth naming. So many of us have learned to make choices based on what feels safe rather than what feels true. We choose the diamond because it's what we're 'supposed' to want, not because it actually resonates with us. We say yes when we mean no. We build lives that look right on the surface but feel hollow underneath.

I think about this in the context of healing too. Sometimes the path that looks most traditional or prestigious isn't the one that will actually set us free. Sometimes the unconventional choice, the one that requires us to trust ourselves more than external validation, is exactly what we need.

The cost of living inauthentically is high. It shows up as anxiety, burnout, disconnection from our own inner wisdom. And the beautiful part? Choosing alignment over appearance doesn't require permission. It just requires honesty.

What would shift for you if you gave yourself permission to choose what's actually true for you, not just what looks good? 🌱

02/10/2026

There's something I've noticed working with clients who are beginning to heal from trauma or spiritual harm. They often arrive at therapy with this unspoken belief that they need to 'fix' themselves quickly, efficiently, like they're solving a problem on a timeline.

But healing doesn't work that way. And honestly, the pressure to heal fast can become another form of harm.

What I've learned is that the most profound shifts happen when we slow down. When we allow ourselves to sit with uncomfortable emotions without rushing to resolve them. When we practice gentleness in the spaces where we've only known harshness.

This is especially true for those rebuilding after spiritual abuse or childhood wounds. Your nervous system needs time to learn that it's safe again. Your heart needs permission to grieve what was lost. Your mind needs space to question beliefs that were handed to you without consent.

There's no 'right pace' for this work. Your pace is the right pace.

If you're on a healing journey and feeling frustrated with your own timeline, I want you to know that slowness isn't failure. It's wisdom.

💗

02/09/2026

There's something I've been thinking about lately, and it connects to so much of what I see in my practice. Many couples come to me believing that needing help means their relationship is broken. But what if seeking support is actually a sign of commitment?

Couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis. It's for any two people who want to understand each other more deeply, communicate more honestly, and build something stronger together.

I love this perspective because it shifts the narrative. Instead of "we need therapy because something is wrong," it becomes "we're investing in us because we matter." And that's profound.

Some of the most meaningful work happens when couples learn to really listen to each other. When one partner says, "I feel unheard," instead of defending, the other can actually hear it. When conflicts arise, they have tools instead of just patterns. When disconnection creeps in, they know how to find their way back.

The beautiful part? Healing together often heals us individually too. We discover things about ourselves we didn't know were there.

If you've been considering couples therapy but held back, I'm curious. What's kept you from exploring it? Sometimes the hesitation itself is worth examining. 💜

Relationships can be both beautiful and challenging. Every couple faces ups and downs, and sometimes, those challenges can feel overwhelming. This is where couples therapy comes in. It offers a safe space for partners to explore their feelings, improve communication, and strengthen their bond. In th...

02/09/2026

There's something I keep noticing with clients who are working through depression: they often don't realize how deeply connected their thoughts, body, and emotions really are.

When we're struggling, our mind tends to whisper some pretty convincing lies. That we're not enough. That things won't get better. That there's no point in trying. And our body listens. We stop moving, stop nourishing ourselves, and sink deeper.

But here's what I've witnessed over and over: small, intentional shifts in one area create ripples everywhere else.

Moving your body, even gently. Choosing foods that actually nourish rather than numb. Observing those negative thought patterns and asking, "Is this actually true?" These aren't just wellness tips. They're acts of self-compassion that tell your nervous system, "You're worth caring for."

Depression thrives in stillness and disconnection. Healing happens when we gently reconnect with ourselves, one choice at a time.

What's one small way you could honor your body or mind today? Sometimes that's the real starting point. 💚

If you or someone you love experiences depression, incorporate these holistic lifestyle changes to naturally deal with depression

02/09/2026

There's something I've been noticing with many of the people I work with in therapy, and I want to name it gently because it's so common.

We often believe that if we just think hard enough about a problem, we'll solve it. We rehearse conversations in our heads. We replay difficult moments over and over. We prepare endlessly for situations that haven't happened yet. And somewhere along the way, we convince ourselves that this mental effort equals progress.

But here's what I've learned: sometimes our brains need rest, not more thinking.

When we're stuck in cycles of worry or rumination, adding more mental energy often makes things worse, not better. It can actually deepen anxiety, cloud our judgment, and leave us feeling more depleted. Our minds aren't meant to run constantly at full capacity.

Healing sometimes looks like stepping back. It looks like pausing the internal dialogue. It looks like choosing stillness over the next thought.

If you find yourself caught in overthinking loops, what would it feel like to give your mind permission to rest today? Even for just a few minutes?

You don't have to solve everything through force of thought. Sometimes the clarity you're seeking comes when you finally stop searching for it. 🌱

02/08/2026

There's a pattern I notice in my therapy practice, and I want to name it because it matters.

So many of us get caught in this loop where our minds won't stop turning things over. We replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, dissect every interaction for hidden meaning. And then we judge ourselves for doing it, adding another layer of exhaustion on top.

What if overthinking isn't actually a character flaw or a sign something's wrong with us? What if it's our nervous system trying to protect us, especially if we've been hurt before or grown up in unpredictable environments?

I've found that when we can get curious about *why* our minds do this protective work, rather than fighting against it, something shifts. We start to understand what we actually need. Maybe it's more safety. Maybe it's clearer boundaries. Maybe it's permission to trust ourselves again.

The goal isn't to stop thinking altogether. It's to break the cycle of rumination and reclaim some peace in the process.

Does this resonate with you? What have you noticed about your own patterns of overthinking? 🌱

02/08/2026

When a relationship feels strained, it's so easy to wonder if you're past the point of repair. But here's what research keeps showing us: many couples who feel disconnected can absolutely find their way back to each other. 💕

The Gottman Method is one approach that's grounded in actual relationship science, not guesswork. It starts with something really important: assessment. Before jumping into "fix it" mode, a skilled therapist takes time to understand your relationship's unique strengths and challenges. Where is the trust? Where is the connection still alive? What patterns keep showing up in conflict?

From there, the work becomes intentional and personalized. Not generic advice, but tools tailored to what you and your partner actually need. Things like building appreciation, learning to listen deeply, and creating rituals that matter to both of you.

The beautiful part? These are skills you can practice every single day. Small moments of validation, genuine curiosity about your partner's world, gratitude expressed out loud. These aren't complicated, but they're powerful.

If you're in a relationship that still has good in it, that still has reasons you fell in love, this kind of intentional work might be exactly what you need.

Are you and your partner open to exploring what healing together could look like? 🌱

Carrie offers therapy in Hawaii and online for relationships, stress & anxiety, depression, unresolved issues, trauma, & more.

02/08/2026

Life transitions in later years can feel overwhelming.

Grief. Health changes. Retirement. Relationship shifts. Caregiving stress.

You don’t have to carry it alone.

Ingrid Shadow, LCSW offers gentle, trauma-informed therapy for older adults and couples seeking steadiness, clarity, and meaningful connection.

Now serving clients virtually across Texas, Maryland, and Florida.

📞 817-264-7264
Call to learn more or schedule an appointment.
https://ngridshadow.andelige.com
Healing happens in connection.

02/07/2026

There's something profound that happens when we finally give our inner world permission to exist on paper.

So many of us carry our struggles silently, replaying difficult moments in our heads until they feel bigger and more unbearable than they actually are. We ruminate. We spiral. We convince ourselves that keeping it all internal somehow means we're handling it better.

But here's what I've witnessed working with clients over and over: the moment someone externalizes what's been swirling inside, something shifts. Writing it down isn't just venting. It's actually how your nervous system processes and makes sense of what's overwhelming you.

When feelings stay tangled up in your mind, they stay in charge. When you write them down, you create space to observe them. To understand them. To separate what's real from what's fear.

If you're struggling right now, I want to gently invite you to try this. Not as another task on your to-do list, but as an act of self-compassion. Grab a notebook. Write about what's weighing on you. Don't worry about it being perfect or eloquent. Just let it out.

Your healing doesn't need an audience. It just needs permission.

What would it feel like to give yourself that permission today?

❤️

02/07/2026

There's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and it keeps coming back to this one truth: you cannot pour from an empty cup.

I know, I know. It sounds like something on a wellness poster. But stay with me here.

When I work with parents who are struggling to show up emotionally for their kids, there's almost always this moment where we pause and ask, "What about your own emotional needs?" And that's when things shift. Because the reality is, if you're running on empty, if no one has ever taught you how to recognize and honor your own feelings, you're going to struggle to do that for the people you love.

This isn't about blame. It's about understanding that healing is generational. If your own emotional wounds haven't been tended to, you can't model what healthy emotional expression looks like. You can't teach what you haven't learned.

So if you're a parent, a caregiver, or someone who shows up for others, I want to gently ask you something. When was the last time you prioritized your own emotional well-being? Not as a luxury. As a necessity.

Your kids, your loved ones, your community needs you whole. And that starts with you getting the support you deserve.

You matter too. 💫

02/07/2026

There's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We often wait until a relationship feels broken before we consider getting support. But what if therapy wasn't just about fixing what's fractured? What if it was about deepening what's already good?

Couples don't need to be in crisis to benefit from working together with a therapist. Sometimes the most transformative work happens when both partners are willing to show up before resentment builds, before walls go up, before silence replaces conversation.

Therapy can help you understand your partner's wounds and let them understand yours. It can help you communicate in ways that actually feel heard. It can help you remember why you chose each other in the first place, and build something even stronger from there.

The couples I work with who come in early often tell me the same thing: we wish we'd done this sooner. Not because something was wrong, but because something beautiful became possible.

If you're in a relationship that matters to you, what would it look like to invest in it now, with intention and care? 💚