09/08/2024
September 8th 2024
Usually, my practice on the weekends, is to reflect and ask questions of my week or my thoughts which have piled up over the week of reporting to work and interacting with the people and all the stuff that needs to be taken care of and all the remaining things still to do. I try to quiet my mind, and go to a place of hearing myself, looking within or just being quiet as I lean in to hearing my own voice. The weeks seem to muffle my voice, while leaving an imprint of all the voices heard. This weekend in particular, reflecting, I noticed after having an opportunity to release some bottle up unexplained pulls, there is now a shift in my overall energy. It’s as if being freed, being freed to let out what was harboring a home in side just building and growing day after day and year after year, ready to burst, and yet I didn’t know why this existed.
Today, I questioned and observed myself, after all of the emotions and words addressed a few nights before were released. I was curious, what it all meant, but even more so, I was curious as to the part all this played in my being, my existence, my progress.
I look up as I sipped my coffee and noticed a white butterfly swirling around me, then left. This caught my attention, and then back to observing myself and hearing my voice while sipping coffee. I noticed the ache in my chest, the push to let it out, the efforts to hold it in, the questioning why I was being pushed to address this unintentional attachment, emotions, the wonder of why is this happening, all the strength and energy used to deny this existed, yet, could no longer, was gone. My body was not tense, my heart was not pounding, and my energy was not drained. The release, opened the doors to breathe again without effort, I feel younger, revitalized, I stand shoulders straight, my walk is intentional, I’m a little more brave, a little more humble, a little more fulfilled, I am once again, revived after the forced release, only explained by, Divine intervention. Ironically, I released the internal stir of emotions, and instead of being empty inside, the hole was full of something new; I feel life in every breath, I feel peaceful, ready to take on the challenges, ready to speak my truth, ready to chase to create my whiteboard dreams, once again.
As I get in my car to do laundry, the white butterfly is back, flying freely by me and then gone. As I arrive at the Laundry room in the community clubhouse, again I see the white butterfly, flutter by the window. I arrive back home and go inside, looking out the travel trailer door; again, the white butterfly flutters by.
I believe the unexplainable is more than just that, it’s Divine intervention communicating with synchronicities, signs, and internal stirrings, which are to be acknowledged and we are to trust the push, the pulls we are feeling by letting it out, by allowing “it” to be, just be. This releasing allows us to experience another launch into our path, another form of growth within, and to gain connections divinely created. The releasing allows the universe to create their plan for which we have no knowledge of. I have to have faith, in the unknown, not knowing why I feel I must do this or that, not having an expectation of any kind, but just expressing whatever it is I feel drawn to express. I know I must release it to the world , and it will create ripples, many I will never see but I know sometime down the road of my journey, I will reflect back on the moment of release and realize, oh, now I understand why the universe pushed me and the White Butterfly fluttered by.
