Goldstein Therapy

07/27/2025

https://goldsteintherapy.com/why-cheering-someone-up-can-backfire/

When we’re in distress, our first need often isn’t to fix the feeling, it’s to get it out. To hand it over to someone else who can hold it. This isn’t immaturity. It’s a deeply human process rooted in our earliest experiences.

07/14/2025

Boundaries lead us home to ourselves first, so we can meet others with clarity and trust. How has setting a boundary deepened your connection—with yourself or someone else? ♥ (www.drmarielbuque.com)

06/29/2025

https://goldsteintherapy.com/when-ordinary-feels-empty-understanding-the-craving-for-intensity/

For many people, intensity isn’t just exciting—it can feel necessary to feel alive. Some people feel shame over this or believe it means they're addicted to drama, trauma, or pain. There is some truth to this, but we need to frame it

06/22/2025

06/22/2025

https://goldsteintherapy.com/the-sadistic-internal-figure-how-longing-can-distort-the-mind/

It’s strange how quickly the people we love can turn into monsters in our minds—especially when we’re waiting, needing, or not getting what we long for. One moment, someone feels warm and safe. The next, they seem cold, distant, withholding. And

05/12/2025

The importance of privacy in development of a self

In this video I discuss the importance of having and giving others privacy and alone time for them to process things internally without the threat of intrusion

05/11/2025

What if the most vulnerable thing isn’t needing love—but offering it?

This post explores why giving love can feel riskier than receiving it, and why having our love received is as vital to our development as being loved in return.

(Read on if you’ve ever felt the ache of a gesture unreturned or longed to feel like you matter to someone)

Fairbairn observed that children don’t just need to be loved—they also need to feel their love is received. This idea touches on something important but often overlooked: giving love can be a more vulnerable act than searching for or needing love.

05/07/2025

Why do those who feel the most vulnerable often seem the most put-together?

In this post, I explore how our early defenses can become our identities—and why the path to deeper connection often begins when we risk being seen without the mask.

(Read if you’ve ever struggled to ask for help, or felt invisible while trying to look “fine.”)

Have you ever noticed how the more uncertain or vulnerable we feel inside, the more we may try to present ourselves as completely “together” on the outside? Sometimes, the people who feel the most needy appear the most self-reliant—and those who feel deeply shy can come

04/29/2025

What does it really mean to “hold space” for growth and healing?

True receptivity isn’t passive—it’s an active, ongoing discipline. It asks us to suspend the impulse to fix, to explain, to rush toward coherence. It invites us to stay present with what is unfolding, even when the unknown feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

I wrote about how creating a true holding environment—internally and externally—allows new experiences, new parts of the self, and deeper healing to emerge.

Some experiences don’t live inside us as coherent stories. They don’t come wrapped up neatly with a beginning, a middle, and an end. They don’t even always feel like memories.

04/28/2025

Project Happiness

04/28/2025

You don’t have to fix how you feel today.
You can just be with it — and trust that even quiet days have meaning.

04/28/2025

Sometimes emptiness isn’t a failure.
It’s the space where new desires, new connections, and new self-understanding are quietly getting ready to grow.