09/24/2019
7 Important Habits of People Who Know How to Listen
Great communicators have to know how to speak and write clearly—but it also means they also have to know how to listen. Most of us don’t think of listening as a communication skill, but it’s one of the most important. The best communicators are skilled at listening—here’s how they do it:
They listen with full attention. Most people like to speak, but it’s far more rewarding to listen with your full attention. You retain more, and people talk more—because the sincerest form of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
They listen to learn. In most exchanges, people simply react to the latest comment — a logical and often effective approach. But the best communicators are listening to learn. They don’t track conversations as a back-and-forth but as a path to new information. Listening, learning and putting into practice what you’ve learned will always be the best way to build success.
They listen to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply in the front of their mind. But true communicators know that in order to empathize and connect with others, you have to first understand them, and that understanding comes from good listening.
They listen without interrupting. Most good communicators have a genuine desire to be helpful, so it’s always tempting to chime in when someone’s speaking. But when you jump in to be helpful, you’re actually robbing them of the chance to fully express themselves and solve the problem on their own. Instead of rushing to respond when someone else speaks, try to zero in on what they’re actually saying. You can always offer help later if it’s still needed.
They listen to form connections. The best listeners have developed their ability to hear and form connections—and then articulate the connecting points. When you listen and you are able to form connections with what is being spoken, you’ll find you’re well prepared to help people put their thoughts in context and decide what to do next.
They listen without needing to reply. If you want to be known as a great communicator, you have to learn how to listen without thinking about your reply. As the old saying goes, we have two ears and one tongue. Focus entirely on understanding what’s being said.
They listen to silence. Sometimes the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said. Listen for awkward pauses, omissions, hesitation. When you do, you’ll become aware of things you haven’t heard before.
The most successful people I know are the ones who do more listening than talking. Great communication is more about hearing others than it is about being heard yourself.
Lead from within: When you really listen well, you’ll be able to engage more deeply with your friends, relatives, and colleagues, and that is the sign of great communication.
