Dynamic Counseling - Colorado Springs

05/30/2026

The Dream Beneath the Argument: What Couples Are Really Fighting About

One of the most helpful ideas from Dr. John Gottman’s research is that many relationship conflicts are not actually about the issue being discussed. The argument about money, parenting, vacations, s*x, chores, or in laws is often standing on top of something much deeper.According to Gottman, many ...

05/26/2026

Why do we blame our spouse in moments of stress?

05/19/2026

New Podcast Episide: Pain Needs a Villain

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Jd6NR8UUaZBYXYdMv4gvJ

The Human Work · Episode

05/16/2026

Don’t “Kitchen Sink” Your Spouse: The Relationship Skill That Changes Conflict

In many relationships, conflict does not become painful because couples care too little. It becomes painful because they care so much that every unresolved hurt starts pouring out at once.A conversation that begins with “I felt hurt when you dismissed me earlier” suddenly becomes: • “And you...

05/12/2026

Becoming Less Zombified: Addiction, Shame, and Healing

https://www.dynamiccoloradosprings.com/post/becoming-less-zombified-addiction-shame-and-healing

“A passion for music can harden into an addiction to applause, a passion for lo******ng can cheapen into addiction to s*xual relief. From a mythic way of looking at it, an overriding addiction would be a demon. A demon being something that wants us not to be liberated, not to cleave to heaven in t...

05/07/2026

Reach out if your child could be a good fit!

05/07/2026

Every relationship is shaped in the small, everyday moments...far more than the big ones.

A quick comment. A glance. A question. A sigh.

In the research from the Gottman Method, these are called “bids for connection.” They’re small attempts to feel seen, heard, and emotionally close to your partner.

And here’s the part most couples don’t realize:

It’s not the bid that determines the health of your relationship; it’s how you respond to it.

Every relationship is shaped in the small, everyday moments...far more than the big ones.A quick comment. A glance. A question. A sigh.In the research from the Gottman Method, these are called “bids for connection.” They’re small attempts to feel seen, heard, and emotionally close to your part...

05/04/2026

Do most people intend to hurt their partner? Do most people intend to be selfish in a given scenario with their spouse? Here we consider Intent VS Impact, and why this is important in laying down the rope in conflict or getting out of the blame game.

04/30/2026

Soft Start-up: How to start conflict without damaging your relationship

https://www.dynamiccoloradosprings.com/post/the-gottman-soft-startup-how-to-start-conflict-without-damaging-your-relationship

If you’re honest, most relationship conversations don’t fall apart at the end—they fall apart in the first 30 seconds.That’s where John Gottman and his research give couples a massive edge. He found that the way a conversation starts predicts how it will end. Harsh startup? You’re headed f...

04/26/2026

Most couples don’t fight about dishes, laundry, or who’s doing what around the house.

They fight about what those things mean.

One partner is often carrying the mental load. Planning, remembering, anticipating. The other may be helping, but it doesn’t always feel shared.

That’s where the tension builds.

Equity is not always 50/50. It’s about both people feeling seen, supported, and not alone in the weight of daily life.

This clip is about what happens when couples stop keeping score and start understanding each other’s experience.

04/25/2026

Check out our new episode: The Tug of War in Relationships (and How to Put the Rope Down)

Most couples are not struggling because they do not care. They are stuck in a pattern.

That pattern often feels like a tug of war. The harder one person pulls to be heard, the harder the other pulls back. Conversations turn into arguments, arguments turn into distance, and both people walk away feeling misunderstood.

In this episode of The Human Work, we break down what is really happening underneath these cycles. Drawing from Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman work, we explore why pushing harder in conflict often makes things worse, and what it actually looks like to step out of the fight.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/49bcXWxAydkhPbmCtyW9gN?si=JEO6dXUOSFSc75kpXw9LnA

The Human Work · Episode