03/08/2022
“Factification” is my own term for the very common tendency to turn subjective content into objective fact. This flawed habit is more rampant than ever in our social climate today, and it is very relationally destructive. The truth is that there are very few things that we can truly identify as irrefutable fact. On the vast majority of topics, reasonable people may differ.
It’s tough, though, because in order to have a well-formed opinion, you have to research and think through an issue and come to a conclusion that you believe is right! Our problem is that we focus too much on the “right” part, and not enough on the “believe” part.
This is a habit that is much easier to spot in others than in ourselves, so becomes crucial in overcoming this problem. It may be as subtle as needing to replace “is” with “seems,” so, “That guy is really out of it!” becomes, “That guy seems really out of it,” leaving space for others to have different experiences of “that guy.” Any time you use a being word (is, am, are, was, were) without a qualifier, you’re stating something as a fact. Try to catch yourself, and add “to me,” or “I think,” or anything that acknowledges the subjective nature of your statement. Then notice how it makes conversation flow and relationships evolve.
Be well 🌱
