02/24/2026
That rollercoaster of connection can be addictive.
When they’re cold, patience turns into desperation. You see that they are caught up with more “important” things.
You try to distract yourself for a while, but end up checking their phone, trying to make yourself more attractive, or maybe cooking an elaborate dinner waiting for a look or a comment that shows you they’ve noticed.
When they’re hot, all of the neurons fire up in your brain. All of the emotional intensity you’ve been holding while being ignored finally gets to be unleashed.
You feel alive again! It’s so gratifying, and maybe for quick second, you think you’ve finally cracked the code to being seen.
Whether it’s good or negative attention, you don’t care. It’s the connection you’ve been waiting for.
And then in flash, just as quickly as it came . . . it’s gone.
You’re alone . . . again.
You realize there is nothing you can do to change it and you feel bad about yourself for it.
You don’t even realize that it’s not normal. That cycle is rooted in your old wounds and the unmet needs you’ve had for years.
It’s not real passion. It’s a game of immaturity that is playing you into accepting pieces.
That is not the type of relationship God ever planned for you. You deserve love that doesn’t leave you spinning in confusion — love that’s steady and life-giving.
“Don’t stir up nor awaken love until the appropriate time.” (Song of Solomon 2:7)
Rather than chasing someone by trying to do all the things to make them whole, make sure that you are fully healed, so that you can see everything clearly, making wise decisions, rather than loving out of fear and getting caught up in the game.
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