Together Couples Counseling

Together Couples Counseling Create a Relationship you Love Learn to Communicate, Build Trust and Reconnect to True Intimacy.

If you are ready to make a good relationship great, give us a call today 410-440-1413

When you fear conflict, or push-back, or fear that your perspective is wrong…Speaking up is really hard.It's not hard so...
04/13/2026

When you fear conflict, or push-back, or fear that your perspective is wrong…
Speaking up is really hard.
It's not hard solely because of what the other person will say or do.
It's hard because of how you respond to the emotional pain you feel inside yourself.

Read that again…

You stop yourself because you feel shaky.
You silence yourself because it's easier to avoid feeling scared.
You stay quiet because you think you can't handle how you feel when someone disagrees with you…

Since you cannot control other people's responses or feelings (though we sure try to!)
The key to speaking up is strengthening your ability to handle your own negative emotions while staying connected to yourself AND the relationship all at the same time.

It takes practice, but you can do it and we are here to help.

Transforming your relationship requires more than "communication skills".If that's all it took, you could just read a bo...
04/10/2026

Transforming your relationship requires more than "communication skills".
If that's all it took, you could just read a book about communication skills, implement them and be on your way…
Communication is one piece, but before you get to that piece, you need to focus on other things.
At Together Couples Counseling, using and the neuroscience of relationships, we help you focus on what's actually needed to achieve the intimacy you long for.

04/09/2026

There's a lot of conversation right now about "safety" in relationships.

And safety does matter.

Our brains are wired for self protection, so when something feels off between us, the nervous system reacts quickly. It looks for ways to restore stability, reduce tension, and decrease threat.

But safety is not the ultimate goal of a great relationship.

Growth is.

Because, if a relationship is organized solely around staying safe, it often becomes organized around avoiding discomfort.

Avoiding hard truths.
Avoiding difference.
Avoiding the kind of tension that real intimacy requires.

Growth REQUIRES discomfort.

This is where many couples get stuck.
Not because they don't feel safe enough...

But because they haven't developed the emotional strength to stay present when things feel less than comfortable.

Relational empowerment shifts the goal.

Instead of asking, "How do we stay safe?"
the question becomes:

"How do we stay connected while being real with each other?"
Because the strongest relationships are not the ones that avoid disruption.

They're the ones that can withstand it without losing themselves or each other.

*This does not refer to situations of abuse or physical violence.


04/08/2026

I saw this exact advice on an influencer page .
I've been a Couples Therapist for over 30 years, and I can say unequivocally that EVERY couple has this thought at least once.
And sometimes repeatedly across a long term partnership.

In no way does this mean all hope is lost.
It's actually very normal.
We call it Normal Marital Hatred, a term coined by my mentor

Fairy tales are not reality. In fairy tales someone is saved, everyone is safe all the time and happy ever after is the ideal outcome.

A truly healthy relationship lives in reality. And reality means you'll get annoyed with each other, you'll dislike their choices and ways of doing things, you'll want them to do and think the way you do...

Healthy relationships navigate these differences and the doubt that comes along with it.

Don't fall for the bad advice that's out there.

Too often we mistake silence and lack of friction as true intimacy."I don't want to rock the boat""They'll never underst...
03/23/2026

Too often we mistake silence and lack of friction as true intimacy.
"I don't want to rock the boat"
"They'll never understand if I say what I really feel"
"They'll get mad and walk away"
We pick silence over expression, mute possibility out of fear.
Fear of loss, fear of hurt, fear of speaking out about our own wishes and desires.
We prioritize our partners over ourselves, the status quo over painful growth.
Have you ever felt like this?
Speak up in the comments below. You are not alone…

03/20/2026

How well do you tolerate difference in your relationship?
We start out feeling so seen, having so much in common…
And then reality sets in.
Two unique individuals with different experiences, preferences, brains, neurotypes and ways of being in the world…
Then the arguments set in…
"You don't load the dishwasher the right way"
"You are too forgetful"
"You don't speak my love language"…
Healthy, long term relationships require building an emotional muscle to tolerate difference. If you require them to see and do things the way you do, that's not sustainable and it's also giving away your agency…. We all need to learn that we can be ok even when our beloved doesn't behave and think like us…

03/18/2026

Do you feel like you have communication problems?
And if you could just communicate better your relationship would be happier?
That's what most people say when they call for couples therapy.
And I get it…if you could just get him to listen…if you could just get her to see it your way…
But that's where you're getting in your own way.
Many couples therapists will teach you communication tips and give you homework, but that doesn't get to the heart (or the brain🙂) of what's going on.
If you want a healthier, happier relationship you need to upgrade your emotional skills.
Learn to tolerate difference (this is a tough one, I know!)
And learn to handle friction without losing your voice.




03/16/2026

An invitation to you!
Spend 2 days in person with me!
May 16th & 17th in Maryland.
It's not just communication skills!
Learn a new paradigm for thinking about relationships to help you dismantle the system that keeps you in repeated conflicts.
Make it a weekend getaway in our beautiful historic waterfront town!

Individual empowerment has it's place. Live alone and you get to do everything your own way.Most of us live in relations...
03/16/2026

Individual empowerment has it's place. Live alone and you get to do everything your own way.
Most of us live in relationships.
Which means there are two perspectives, two voices, two realities.
A healthy relationship allows for both and stops fighting to be right.
Learn to negotiate "something we both can live with."
It's key to lasting, healthy, connected lives.

Modern love is complex. It demands more from everyone. In a truly egalitarian relationship, neither person needs to aban...
03/16/2026

Modern love is complex. It demands more from everyone.
In a truly egalitarian relationship, neither person needs to abandon themselves or their connection to others.




Disagreement isn't inherently bad for relationships.In fact, it's expected.Of course, how you handle disagreement matter...
03/15/2026

Disagreement isn't inherently bad for relationships.
In fact, it's expected.
Of course, how you handle disagreement matters. (Nuance is important, and social media is not built for nuance, but stay with me here.)
If you want to strengthen your relationship, seeking to solve all of your disagreements is a fool's errand.
A more powerful and more relational approach is to learn how to build your own emotional strength, your ability to handle your own feelings in the face of your partners upset or disappointment.
This is the first step toward relational empowerment and growth.




Emotional friction is needed for True Intimacy.
03/14/2026

Emotional friction is needed for True Intimacy.

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8894 Stanford Boulevard, Ste 103
Columbia, MD
21045

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+14104401413

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