Quiet Strength Counseling

09/12/2024

Quiet Strength Counseling provides a gentle and non-pathologizing approach to mental health for highly sensitive people, introverts, and caregivers of all sorts.

👋🏼 Hi there!! I (Julie) am here to help you move towards authenticity, break out of the people pleasing habit, and learn to value your own voice, feelings, and needs.

My best-fit clients tend to be empathetic and very-attuned-to-the-needs-of-others folks who are struggling with any (or all) of the following:

-anxiety

-overwhelm

-compassion fatigue or burnout

-a sense of not knowing who you are

-“codependency”

-feeling not good enough

-difficulty saying no, setting boundaries, or slowing down

-grief and loss

-feeling misunderstood or invalidated

-discomfort taking up space or using your voice

-self-doubt

Learn more and schedule your free 20 minute consultation at quietstrengthcounseling.com !

04/08/2024

If you haven't already heard, Quiet Strength Counseling has a new home!!! Just a couple minutes from Stephens Lake Park, Columbia, if you feel like getting in a walk and some sunshine before or after session. You can learn more and schedule your free consultation at www.quietstrengthcounseling.com 😊

03/15/2024

"How would you feel if you were to let go of trying to control your life? What would it be like if you were to release your desire to strive, achieve and succeed?

If you let go of your eagerness to get somewhere or achieve something? And simply allowed yourself to slow down and settle in with the rhythm of nature...

How would you feel if you let go of your expectations, your ideal timelines, and instead found acceptance for yourself and your life, exactly as they are…"

The above excerpt is from the meditation "Slow Down & Accept" by Meg James on Insight Timer :-)

By Meg James

01/18/2024

How often do you feel that you lack companionship? How often do you feel left out? How often do you feel isolated from others?

Today I am reading about the impact of loneliness on mental and physical health. Click on version 3 at this link to see where you fall on the UCLA Loneliness Scale. Scores range from 20-80.

“The research on loneliness proves what your autonomic nervous system knows; you need social connection and suffer both physically and emotionally when you don't experience enough of it.

The UCLA Loneliness Scale, a 20-question survey that you can easily locate on the internet, assesses the perception of social isolation and is used extensively in research."

-Deb Dana

Loneliness Scale UCLA. Psychological test online. Online version of the UCLA Loneliness Scale by Daniel W. Russell, a scale designed to measure one's subjective feelings of loneliness as well as feelings of social isolation. All three revisions: UCLA (1978), the Revised UCLA (1980) and UCLA Version....

01/16/2024

I like how succinct and clear this is. Access to this language and information can be a LIFELINE for folks. A trauma-bonded relationship starts with love-bombing, is followed by trust and dependency, then criticism, gaslighting, and so on.

01/02/2024

👇🏼Does this sound like you?

If so, you might be highly sensitive!

And If more than 14 of these statements are true for you, it is very likely that you ARE highly sensitive:

👉🏼 I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.

👉🏼 I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

👉🏼 Other people’s moods affect me.

👉🏼 I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

👉🏼 I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

👉🏼 I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

👉🏼 I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.

👉🏼 I have a rich, complex inner life.

👉🏼 I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.

👉🏼 I am deeply moved by the arts or music.

👉🏼 My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.

👉🏼 I am conscientious.

👉🏼 I startle easily.

👉🏼 I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

👉🏼 When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).

👉🏼 I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

👉🏼 I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

👉🏼 I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.

👉🏼 I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.

👉🏼 Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood.

👉🏼 Changes in my life shake me up.

👉🏼 I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

👉🏼 I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

👉🏼 I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.

👉🏼 I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.

👉🏼 When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

👉🏼 When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

( More at hsperson.com )

12/26/2023

So many of my HSP clients are loving Sheryl Paul's podcast Gathering Gold. If you're someone who would much rather go deep in conversation than engage in small talk, this is your podcast! I would describe these episodes (even their pacing w/ music and poetry throughout) as solace and soul-nourishment for sensitive, creative and introspective folks.

I came to Sheryl Paul’s work through learning of her courses. She has several. One on relationship anxiety, another on healing the mother wound, and others covering topics such as intrusive thoughts, self-trust, sexuality, generalized anxiety, transitions, etc.

Sheryl describes her work as being rooted in a Jungian depth perspective. In this podcast, Sheryl, along with her niece Victoria, “dive into the realms of our inner worlds and explore actions we can take to grow more self-trust and self-love.”

The episodes are focused around “providing guidance for diminishing fear and shame, embracing sensitivity and creativity, and approaching life with curiosity and compassion.”

The couple of episodes on shame have really stayed with me. If you're looking for a place to start, these might be good! The first one is titled "The Cloak of Shame" and the second "Healing Shame".

Happy listening! 😀

12/13/2023

In honor of the three volumes of Anaïs Nin’s diary on this shelf, I thought I'd share are a few of my favorite quotes of hers! 👇🏼

“I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more. I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits.” ― Anaïs Nin

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
― Anaïs Nin

“Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people’s. ” ― Anaïs Nin

"There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
― Anaïs Nin

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ― Anaïs Nin

(And one more in the comments!)

12/06/2023

Authenticity is not an overnight sort of thing. It requires diligence to build the self-awareness and courage necessary to really live in sync with who you are on the inside.

We move towards authenticity when we begin paying attention to our own energy, thoughts, feelings, needs, interests, etc…

…RATHER THAN looking outward to see what it is we need to do (or be) in order to “fit in” or not call attention to ourselves.

You’ll know you’re moving towards authenticity when you find that you are “chameleon-ing” less and less. No longer shape-shifting to become whatever the person in front of you needs you to be. Staying grounded. Staying in your own energy. Staying connected to yourself.

11/29/2023

It’s the folks who spend much of their time holding space for and taking care of others that I am passionate about supporting. Think- parents, therapists, healthcare providers, educators, the go-to friend, etc.

If you are someone who is very nurturing, caring, compassionate, and good at attuning to the needs of others, you might just be highly sensitive!

HSP = Highly Sensitive Person

Notably with the HSP trait is a tendency to feel guilt as well as overly anticipate and respond to the needs of others, often at the expense of one's own desires and/or well-being.

As a therapist, I understand that validation of feelings and intuition is super important for HSPs, as is recognizing how deeply impacted you are by others' emotions and moods.

My focus for my deeply empathetic clients is helping you to develop and strengthen your sense of self, prioritize your needs/wants, learn how to calm your nervous system, set boundaries, and in many cases heal from childhood emotional neglect.

11/21/2023

Self-compassion is one of our best tools in the midst of emotion dysregulation.

The next time you are feeling anxiety, uncertainty, fear or dread….

…take a moment to close your eyes, maybe place a hand on your heart, take a few deep breaths and in a kind gentle tone, say to yourself 👇🏼

"I am here for you, no matter how hard things get.”

11/16/2023

The work of understanding ourselves, working with our emotions and moving towards authenticity is a lifelong endeavor.

It is not unusual for me to see clients for two, three and four+ years. And this is not because they are not progressing. Rather, it is because, as human beings, we benefit from emotional support and validation, LIFELONG!

Especially for thoughtful, sensitive, and introspective folks, therapy allows you SPACE to process your emotions, RECEIVE care and experience deeper and deeper layers of healing, growth, and change.