12/31/2025
The other day, I was “ghosted” by a patient.
The message read:
“Patient called, canceled her appointment for tonight (POD #7), and said she wasn’t going to schedule any more appointments. I asked if she was sure, since this was her first post-op visit. She said no. I told her I’d let Dr. Cohen know.”
I’m not entirely sure why I took it personally—but I did.
Maybe it’s because, as surgeons, we’re always on alert for the possibility that a patient had a bad experience. And if they did, I want to know. I want the chance to fix it, learn from it, or at the very least understand it.
What made this situation puzzling was that she was seven days status post a routine knee arthroscopy—typically an uneventful recovery. There had been no calls, no messages, no missed outreach from her. Nothing to suggest dissatisfaction or concern.
I spoke with my nurse—she had no additional insight. So I did what felt right: I called the patient myself. No answer. I followed up with a text, identifying myself and asking her to call when convenient. No response.
The next day, I received another message: the patient had changed her mind and wanted to come in for suture removal. Unfortunately, with the New Year holiday, that would have pushed her close to two weeks post-op. Anyone who has removed sutures knows they can be uncomfortable when left in too long—so I called her again.
This time, she answered.
I told her I’d make myself available between surgical cases and that she could come to the hospital near her home. She seemed appreciative and agreed. Three hours later, she arrived. I was between cases. The sutures were removed uneventfully. She was doing well. No complaints. We discussed starting physical therapy and planned a six-week follow-up.
And that was that.
I don’t know if she fully recognized the extra effort that went into making that happen. And that’s okay.
Because the truth is, this is the price we willingly pay when we choose to practice medicine the way we would want our own family members cared for—when they are vulnerable, uncertain, or simply human.
Sometimes it’s not about gratitude.
Sometimes it’s not about acknowledgment.
Sometimes it’s just about doing the right thing—even when no one is watching.
