07/02/2025
đź’—
If a child tries to caretake you in the playroom, it’s often because they are working through one of two things:
🔹 They are parentified. They have learned to take responsibility for the emotions of others and feel it’s their job to keep people happy.
🔹 They struggle with certain emotions. When sadness (or another difficult feeling) enters the space, they try to move you—or themselves—away from it because it’s outside their window of tolerance.
Either way, this moment is happening for a reason. It’s not random.
The goal isn’t to shut the child down or reject their care, but instead to gently model a different experience.
Next time this happens, try staying present and reflecting back:
🗣️ “You don’t want me to be sad.”
🗣️ “You’re trying to take care of me.”
🗣️ “I’m OK. It’s OK to be sad.”
This might seem small, but it’s huge.
💜 If the child is parentified, this gives them a felt experience of not being responsible for someone else’s emotions. That alone can be one of the most healing moments in their entire therapy journey.
💜 If the child struggles with being with sadness, this keeps them from avoiding or shutting it down—helping them integrate the emotion rather than pushing it away.
The Bigger Takeaway - When this moment arises in the playroom:
✅ Pause—don’t discount it. It’s happening for a reason.
âś… Recognize its significance. This is likely connected to the very thing the child is working on.
✅ Model authenticity and self-regulation. Show them that emotions can be felt and held without needing to be “fixed.”
This is not a mistake in the session. It’s part of the process.
So next time a child tries to take care of you—take a breath, lean in, and trust that this moment is unfolding exactly as it needs to.
♡ Lisa
