11/19/2024
FINDING GLIMMERS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE
“Connection is the antidote to the isolation that trauma creates. Through connection, we find safety, support and.the possibility of healing.”
⁃ Deb Dana
A trigger is a stimulus that causes a reaction, often an emotional response, related to past experience. It can cause panic, anxiety, negative self-talk and despair. A trigger reacquaints us with the feeling that accompanied a past traumatic experience, bringing it back and taking us into its unpleasantness again. An example would be a clap of thunder for someone who experienced a trauma involving a loud noise. My dog actually has this trigger!
A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger. “Glimmer” is a word coined by psychotherapist Deb Dana, LCSW, who has done great pioneering work with polyvagal theory, which posits a connection between activation of the vagus nerve and the regulation of the nervous system. It is a subject for another day. A glimmer is a micro moment of regulation that fosters feelings of well-being, cuing the nervous system to feel safe and calm. It can be a thought, a feeling, a taste, smell or something in the physical world, like a beautiful flower. It can be your favorite coffee mug, the seat you usually take in Starbucks or your favorite song. If we think of nervous system regulation as a road, triggers go in the direction of disregulation, whereas a glimmer goes in the opposite direction, toward calm and safety.
Glimmers are naturally occurring; we all have them. Awareness of them depends on how much we are paying attention. Many of us miss them entirely. But it’s also true that we unconsciously seek them, by choosing that mug or that song. Dana suggests that the more we develop an awareness of glimmers, the better we become at regulating our nervous systems, keeping us in grounded, comfortable places, away from the fight /flight/freeze experience of disregulation brought on by intense stress.
Let’s look at the difficulties we are having as a country right now. Regardless of your point of view, the divide and conflict in the present day United States are causing significant trouble and emotions turmoil for all of us, unless we’re not paying attention. Finding a glimmer in such trying times is an adaptive process. Perhaps we notice the smell of our shampoo, or take a moment to admire an unusual cloud formation. The idea is to look for these moments and hold on to them as long as we can. According to Dana, the longer we can hold on to the pleasant feeling that the glimmer brings, the more we move from survival to thriving mode. They help us discharge the stress hormone cortisol from previous stressful experiences.
Glimmers are small, but very helpful. Just as we get worn down by unpleasant stimuli that we encounter through the day, we can train ourselves to notice the stimuli that support us and make us feel more secure. It may help to set an intention to look for these little positive moments. They are always there, waiting for us.
