Chaos Free ADHD

03/30/2026

When every request is met with resistance...

Everyone can join. Register for free in comments.

02/24/2026

Creating motivation relies on shifting from

"How do I stop this behavior?"
to
"What skill is missing here?"

Behavior is information. Use it.

02/17/2026

What if what you know about motivation is wrong?

02/13/2026

I am traveling and had the chance to see an ancient Egyptian temple that was saved from the flooding when the Aswan Dam was built.

The Temple De Bod was rebuilt in Madrid, stone for stone, hieroglyphics and all for a purpose - to preserve a history.

It reminded of a very common hieroglyph - the crook and the flail.

The crook represented guidance.
The flail represented authority.

For centuries, we’ve leaned heavily on the flail in education and parenting — rewards, punishments, clip charts, compliance systems. Especially with neurodivergent children.

But neuroscience — and frameworks like Self-Determination Theory — tell us something different:

Motivation grows from RELATEDNESS (connection), AUTONOMY, and COMPETENCE, not from control.

Neurodivergent children don’t struggle because they lack consequences. They struggle because they lack skill scaffolding.

The question isn’t, “How do we make them comply?”
It’s, “How do we guide them toward capacity?”

Ancient leaders carried both symbols.
What could happen for the children you support, if you learned to use more crook?

02/10/2026

Watching blood sugar is important for ADHD, too!

02/09/2026

Site word success!

Here's what happens when meeting needs replaces rewards and punishment.

02/04/2026

IMPORTANT - Not all ADHD Coaching is created equal.

02/02/2026

Thank you for the feature SpeakrBrand.

I preach this everyday. New ventures take time. There will be obstacles and setbacks along the way that can erode your motivation. So, whether it's developing a new life skill or deciding to become a public speaker at 60, it is critical that you have relationships with people that are interested in....

01/18/2026

All your success means nothing if you don’t have a safe place or safe people to live your authentic life with.

and thank you for the brief conference recovery session ❤️

01/15/2026

WHY NOT ME?!

Headed to the APSARD conference in San Diego!

I left last year’s conference disappointed that some of the research on ADHD and motivation presented was done using contingent reinforcement (rewards and punishment).

It felt like the lived experience of parents using this method and not being able to achieve sustained behavioral change had gone ignored. When I questioned the presenters on why autonomous methods had not been used I was told, “rewards and punishment are here to stay”. (Cue confusion, anger and sheepish embarrassment.)

As it turns out, many in the audience agreed with me. Sustained behavioral change and learning are motivated more effectively by meeting the innate human needs of relatedness, autonomy, and competence. This is especially true neurodivergent humans, because of the differences in their brains.

This constant use of the wrong methods to correct and train a neurodivergent child is what causes such high levels of parent and familial stress today!

So yeah, it made me say “Why not me?” to spread the message families impacted by neurodivergence don’t have to live in chaos! By making some small but powerful changes in their parenting philosophy, parents can have motivated, confident, and independent children.

It’s time to live Chaos Free!

01/14/2026

My good friend Shane Thrapp has invited me to give an encore of my "Rewards and Punishment Don't Work" presentation to his ADHD Parenting Group and has graciously invited anyone interested to come. This is the same presentation I delivered at the International Conference on ADHD last November.

It is free! You just have to say you are GOING on the FB event. and get the link to join there.
Link to RSVP in the comments.