Karla Ciombor Buck, LCPC, CADC, CGP

02/24/2022

This is a unique way to define boundaries. Boundaries are important because they help us determine and set limits to make our worlds feel more emotionally safe and comfortable. I also really like the reminder that you are not responsible for the feelings of others. They manage theirs, you manage yours.

02/08/2022

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Abusive relationships don't just happen to adults, and abuse is not just physical.

Check out the group Love Is Respect (www.loveisrespect.org) to learn more about consent, healthy relationships, and warning signs of abusive relationships.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you are not alone! Here are a couple organizations that can help:

Love is Respect hotline: 866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788

Healthy relationships for young adults can be confusing. Love is more than just the way you feel, and we're here to help.

12/03/2021

Holiday host etiquette: If you’re inviting someone to your home and they’re grieving, be sure you’re inviting their grief to attend, too. It will be there, anyway.

Don’t invite someone with the goal of cheering them up for the holidays. Don’t expect them to put on a happy face in your home. Don’t demand they fake it til they make it or do something they don’t want to do, either.

Invite them with the loving intention of offering cheer and companionship and unconditional care during the holidays. To do this, you will need to honor and be responsive to their needs and emotions.

You can do this by privately acknowledging their grief when you make the invitation:

“I know this season is extra hard and your heart is hurting. You and your grief are welcome in our home. Come as you are, we’d be honored to have you with us.”

It’s also incredibly loving to honor the reality that it’s often hard for grieving folks to know what they will want, need, be up for, or able to tolerate at the holidays.

Giving them an invite without the need for commitment and permission to change their mind is extra loving:

“You don’t have to decide right now. If it feels good to be with us, we will have plenty of food and love for you-just show up! I’ll check in again the day before to see if you’re feeling up to coming over and if there’s anything you’d like me to know about how we can support you.”

Your grieving friends and fam need attentive care and responsiveness at the holidays, not plans to keep them busy, distracted, and happy.

If they’re laughing, laugh with them.

If they’re weeping, ask if they’d like your company or your help finding a quiet place to snuggle up alone for awhile.

If they’re laughing while weeping, and this is more common than you’d think, stay with them - this is a precious moment of the human experience that is truly sacred.

We don’t need to protect ourselves or each other from grief at the holidays. In fact, the more we embrace grief as an honored holiday guest, the more healthy, happy, and whole our holidays will be. 🙏

In solidarity,
Sarah Nannen

05/29/2021

Just a little Saturday morning positivity for all of you out in Facebook land. You DO make a difference and have a special purpose in this world.

03/11/2021

You are worthy of love, happiness, healthy relationships, and more! Simply because you were born!! Babies don't have to earn that worthiness, and since you started out as a baby, the same applies to you! It is inherent; don't forget that!

01/03/2021

As we enter into a new year, with new hopes and goals for what we'd like to accomplish, please remember to make more time for self-care. It is important, yet often neglected. Self-care is anything you can do to recharge, and even the smallest things count.

Here are some examples:
- enjoying the smell of a candle
- looking at a cool leaf/flower/architecture while you are on a walk
- going on a walk
- playing with a pet
- taking 5 minutes alone to breathe
- spending time in prayer or meditation
- reading dad jokes on the internet
- having your dad actually tell you a dad joke
- talking to your best friend or close family
- singing loudly (in my case, badly) along to a meaningful song
- making your favorite meal
- doing something or eating something that reminds you of simpler times (aka, eating spaghettios or swinging on a swing)
- taking a break from the news or social media
- drinking more water
- taking your medications on time and in the right dosage
- stretching or exercising
- looking at photos or through a memory book
- playing with molding clay or silly putty
- get enough sleep
- spending 5 minutes decluttering your living space

The list goes on and on. Remember, you have only one very precious life to live. Take care of yourself so you can live it to the fullest!!

Wishing you all a year of health, blessings, and happy tidings. :)

12/25/2020

Seasons greetings everyone! May your holiday celebrations make you as happy as a dog with a new bag of tennis balls! Cheers!

11/26/2020

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your day be filled with love, gratitude, connections with family and friends (even if they are virtual), and all the yummy foods!

Since holidays can also be hard for some, I am going to leave this crisis line right here: 800-273-8255.

11/22/2020

I saw this picture posted on a therapy focused page I follow with the caption, "The importance of smaller steps."

Such a great reminder that progress, no matter now small it seems in the moment, brings us closer and closer to our goals.

Cheers to taking those small steps!!! You got this!!

11/17/2020

Acceptance is not the same as agreement. You can have plenty of negative feelings about a situation that is out of your control and still find a way to accept that the situation happened. Acceptance is a way to find peace because it eliminates the need to place judgment on your thoughts and minimizes the emotional charge. By choosing to accept it for what it is, you get to choose how you want to move forward, how to manage the situation and the associated feelings in a more practical way.

11/08/2020

We all could use these little reminders to pause for self-care. It is incredible the difference that these small changes can make.

10/05/2020

According to Erik Erikson, the psychoanalyst who developed the theory of psychosocial development, "The condition of true twoness is that one must first become oneself."

Too often in relationships, people adjust themselves to be the type of person they think the other is wanting. This rarely works because putting on this act is exhausting. It isn't authentic. Eventually, the true self emerges and conflict ensues.

For those of you seeking a partner, start first by loving yourself. Be the best darn you that you can be! Confidence is attractive. When the timing is right, you will meet your person and it will feel great knowing that they are attracted to the real you, the authentic you, and that you don't have to pretend to be what you are not.

A final note....we all are flawed. There are no perfect people and we all have baggage. Get comfortable with your flaws; they make you uniquely you. A healthy partner will figure out how to work with those flaws, just like you will work to figure out theirs. The sooner you can accept yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the sooner you can find true happiness in a partnership.