Justin Mink Psychotherapy

03/20/2026

One pattern that shows up in a lot of relationships is scorekeeping.

It usually doesn’t start intentionally. More often it begins when someone feels hurt, unappreciated, or like they’re carrying more of the load. When that happens, it’s natural to start paying closer attention to what feels fair and what doesn’t.

Who apologized last. Who initiated the last difficult conversation.  Who handled more of the responsibilities that week.

Over time, those mental tallies can quietly turn the relationship into something that feels more like a competition than a partnership. Most couples aren’t actually trying to win arguments or prove who’s right. More often they’re trying to feel understood, supported, and like their effort matters.

When both people start keeping score, those needs can get lost in the process. Conversations become about defending positions instead of understanding each other’s experience.

Healthy relationships tend to work a little differently. Instead of focusing on who’s ahead or behind, the emphasis shifts toward curiosity, repair, and working together as a team.

If you’ve noticed that the same tensions keep showing up in your relationship, couples therapy can be a place to slow those patterns down and understand what’s happening underneath them.

And if that sounds familiar, it might be worth having a conversation about it. I work with couples across California who want to understand their patterns and start changing them.

March Madness | California Therapist | Marina Del Rey | West LA Therapy

03/19/2026

March Madness is a good reminder of something I see fairly often with men.

A lot of us are pretty comfortable tracking stats: Scores. Rankings. Win-loss records.  Performance.

But when it comes to our own internal experience, that same level of attention isn’t always there. Many men are used to powering through stress rather than pausing to ask how much pressure they’re actually carrying.

🏀How tired am I?
🏀How often have I been feeling irritable?
🏀How long has it been since I actually felt relaxed?

None of those questions come as naturally as checking a score or keeping an eye on the standings, but paying attention to stress in a more intentional way can make a big difference. It often helps people notice patterns earlier, before they turn into burnout or conflict in other parts of life.

03/17/2026

One interesting thing about St. Patrick’s Day is how clear the activity tends to be. It’s not just a holiday where alcohol is present. For a lot of people, alcohol IS the event.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying a drink with friends. For many people it’s just part of a social tradition… getting together, celebrating, and having a good time.

At the same time, days like this can sometimes highlight something people quietly notice afterward. That small moment of reflection the next day when a thought crosses your mind:

“Why do I always feel a little worse after nights like that?”

Most people who question their drinking aren’t dealing with dramatic stories or obvious consequences. Often it’s simply noticing a pattern that doesn’t quite feel the way it used to.

Sometimes the more useful question isn’t whether something is “bad” or “a problem.” It’s a simpler one:

Is this actually helping me feel the way I want to feel?

For a lot of people, that kind of curiosity is where change begins. And if that question has been coming up for you lately, it might be worth talking it through with someone.

Therapy can be a space to look at those patterns honestly and figure out what kind of change would actually feel meaningful.


Therapy in West LA | California Therapist |
Saint Patrick’s Day

03/16/2026

“I thought once things settled down I’d feel better.” I hear some version of that pretty often.

Sometimes it sounds like: once the holidays are over. Once work calms down. Once I get back into a routine. Once life feels a little more normal again.

And then a couple months pass and the stress, irritability, or general sense of heaviness is still there. That can be frustrating. A lot of people expect that if they just push through a busy season or get back on track with the things that help them feel grounded, things will naturally reset.

Sometimes they do. But sometimes what we call “just stress” turns out to be something that’s been building for longer than we realized. Patterns don’t usually disappear just because the calendar flips to a new month. But they can shift once we start paying attention to them a little more intentionally.

Sometimes, too, having this expectation of ourselves or of what things might look like is not outcome independent (peep my blog to read more about that if you haven’t yet!) You’re setting this expectation of how things should look or feel at a certain point in time, but that can get tricky when it means cutting yourself off from good things that come along the way or setting yourself up to be disappointed when things don’t quite look how you anticipated them to.

If you are finding yourself somewhere in that holding pattern, reach out and we can help you figure out what forward looks like.



Los Angeles Therapist | Anxiety Therapy | Marina Del Rey Therapist

03/11/2026

Remember that scene from The Break-Up?

It sounds like a fight about chores… but it’s really about something deeper — feeling cared for, appreciated, and like your partner actually wants to show up for you.

A lot of relationship arguments work exactly like that.

When communication starts to feel stuck, repetitive, or ineffective, sometimes having a therapist in the room can help translate what each partner is actually trying to say — underneath the frustration, sarcasm, or shutdown.

Sometimes it’s not about the dishes.
It’s about learning how to hear each other again. www.minkpsychotherapy.com

03/07/2026

If your drinking picked up in December…
If you noticed yourself relying on it more during family time…
If you told yourself “I’ll scale it back in January” and haven’t…

You’re not broken… but it’s worth paying attention. Substance use rarely starts as “a problem.” It usually starts as relief.

Relief from stress. Or conflict. Or feelings you don’t really want to sit with.

If alcohol (or anything else) is becoming your primary coping tool, that’s information not shame.

You don’t have to label yourself anything dramatic, you just have to ask: “Is this actually helping me long-term?”

If the answer feels complicated, that’s okay. We can untangle complicated.



Marina Del Rey Therapist | Therapy in West LA | Addiction Therapy

03/01/2026

Today is my sober birthday.

Not because everything dramatically changed overnight. Not because I hit some cinematic rock bottom. But because change is possible.

Recovery isn’t about one big moment. It’s about a series of small decisions, about learning new ways to cope, and about building a life you don’t feel the need to escape from.

That belief — that patterns can shift — is a big part of why I specialize in addiction.

Addiction is often an attempt at relief. Something that worked… until it didn’t. What I’ve seen, both personally and professionally, is this:
People are more capable of change than they think.

If something feels off, that’s information. If you want something different, that’s a starting point.

Grateful for another year. And grateful to work with people who are building their own version of change.

02/24/2026

Here’s something I see a lot with men:
“I’m not depressed. I’m just tired.”
“I’m not anxious. I just think a lot.”
“I’m not stressed. I just need to push through it.”

We’re very good at rebranding discomfort.
A lot of guys were taught that if you’re still functioning, you’re fine. If you’re going to work, showing up for your family, keeping it together — you don’t get to call it a problem. But “high functioning” doesn’t mean “not struggling.”

Therapy isn’t about turning you into someone softer, louder, or more emotional than you want to be. It’s about helping you understand what’s underneath the irritability, the shutdown, the overthinking, or the constant pressure to hold it all together.

You don’t have to be falling apart to look at what’s going on. Sometimes the strongest move is actually slowing down long enough to notice.

02/20/2026

Valentine’s Day can shine a spotlight on our relationships.

Sometimes that spotlight feels warm and affirming. Sometimes it highlights what feels off.

Maybe you felt loved and connected this weekend. Maybe you felt unseen. Maybe you realized you and your partner show love in very different ways.

Noticing that doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. It means you’re paying attention.

We all tend to give love in the ways that feel natural to us. Words. Acts of service. Physical closeness. Thoughtful gestures. When those styles don’t quite match, it can leave both partners feeling confused or stuck, even when the care is there.

The week after Valentine’s Day can be a quiet moment to reflect: How do I tend to express love? How do I feel most cared for? Have we actually talked about that?

Positive relationship patterns are built in small, steady conversations. In curiosity instead of criticism. In learning each other’s language instead of assuming it should be the same.

And if this weekend brought up hard feelings that are lingering, that’s information too. Relationships don’t grow from one perfect day. They grow from ongoing care.

relationship patterns | couples therapy | communication skills | love languages | therapy for couples in California | family and relationship support

02/04/2026

Big news 🎉 I was recently featured in VoyageLA’s Hidden Gems series, where I got to share a bit about my journey, my approach to therapy, and why I do this work in the first place.

Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments. It’s for understanding patterns, reconnecting with yourself and the people you care about, and building tools to move forward.

Some of my favorite conversations in the interview are about how change really happens: not in a day, but in the small, honest moments we choose to show up for.

I’m honored to be part of this series and grateful for the opportunity. Tap the link in bio to check out the full interview and get a little behind‑the‑scenes into my story as a therapist (https://voyagela.com/interview/hidden-gems-meet-justin-mink-lcsw-of-mink-psychotherapy)

Couples Therapy Mens Therapy

and it's not to be taken lightly. Take your time, ask lots of questions and give yourself plenty of time to make an informed decision based on what feels right to you. As a Los Angeles based LCSW, I offer both in-person and tele-therapy sessions for individuals and couples.

01/28/2026

You don’t have to wait for a crisis. A lot of couples assume therapy is only for when things are falling apart. But some of the most meaningful progress happens when things aren’t at their worst; just stuck, disconnected, or a little off.

You don’t need a big fight or breaking point to benefit from couples therapy. If you keep having the same conversations without resolution, or feel emotionally distant without knowing why, that’s enough reason to reach out.

Therapy doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you care enough to be intentional.

Want to explore what that could look like? Let’s talk.

NotJustInCrisis TherapyWorks MarinaDelReyTherapist

01/13/2026

Let’s be honest: the holidays can be a lot for relationships.

More time together doesn’t always mean more connection. Add in family dynamics, travel stress, disrupted routines, finances, expectations, and maybe some extra drinking... and suddenly you’re both on edge.

If you’re feeling more distant, reactive, or shut down right now, you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean your relationship is broken, either; you might just need a reset.

A few ways to reconnect this week:
💡 Go for a walk together without your phones
💡 Name one thing you appreciated about them over the holidays
💡Ask: “What’s one thing you need more of from me this month?”

Big repairs start with small moments. You don’t have to fix everything overnight, but you do have to show up.
That’s how we get back to each other.

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