04/14/2024
For a long time I wore the patch of people pleaser. I told the story that I “hated letting people down” and “wanted to make people happy” but the reality is it was about me.
I wanted to make people happy SO I DIDN’T FEEL GUILTY.
I don’t want to say no SO I DON’T FEEL AWFUL AFTERWARDS.
I want to be there because if I’m not I’LL HAVE PEOPLE TALKING NEGATIVELY ABOUT ME.
At the end of the day people pleasing is about ourselves.
And not wanting to feel uncomfortable emotions.
In working with people there’s always a “ah ha” moment when someone understands that they’re not really pleasing— they’re controlling. They’re trying to control how someone perceives them. And how they feel.
Once you understand this, you can start breaking the pattern.
The truth is: adults are capable of being disappointed. And you aren’t here to please everyone around you. You’re here to be authentically yourself. That’s how you have resentment- free relationships
