Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC

08/11/2025

Self-compassion doesn’t lower the bar—it changes the fuel. Instead of running on fear and criticism, you run on care, curiosity, and resilience. You still aim high, but you stop criticizing yourself for being a work in progress.

08/05/2025

Sometimes healing isn’t about fixing, but softening.

What if you didn’t have to “get it together” before being worthy of love or rest?
What if the path forward is simply allowing yourself to be where you are—with tenderness?

Acceptance isn’t resignation.
It’s a quiet turning toward yourself, saying: Even here, I still choose kindness.

07/28/2025

“If I wasn’t trying to be perfect… what might I finally feel?”
Perfectionism often protects us from the deeper pain of feeling inadequate, unsafe, or unseen.
But the cost is disconnection—from self, from ease, from truth.
Let this question open a door.
You don’t have to answer it all at once.
You just have to listen.

🖋 Try journaling this question tonight—without editing your answers.

07/09/2025

Perfectionism can begin as protection.
For many who’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, perfection becomes a way to stay safe—emotionally, relationally, even physically.

“If I get it exactly right, maybe I won’t be criticized.”
“If I stay one step ahead, maybe I won’t be shamed.”
“If I meet every need, maybe I’ll be loved.”

Over time, this effort to be flawless becomes a way of disappearing.
Not seen—only approved of.

But healing is not performance.
It’s returning to the parts of you that were pushed aside in the effort to be acceptable.

You don’t have to be perfect to be whole.
You don’t have to earn being treated well.
You were never the problem.

07/02/2025

For the high achiever who’s exhausted:
Love is not a prize for being flawless.
It’s not something you unlock by being useful, composed, or impressive.

You can stop performing.
You don’t have to hold it all together to be worthy of care.

Love that only shows up when you're “perfect”
isn't love — it’s control.

You are already enough.
Even in the mess. Especially then.

07/01/2025

✨ When burnout looks like success ✨
You’re organized. Driven. Always one step ahead.
But if your body is tense, your mind is racing, and rest feels guilty—this isn’t alignment. It’s survival.

Buddhist teachings remind us: peace doesn’t come from control.
It comes from non-attachment. From presence.

Perfectionism disconnects us from that presence.
It says: “Do more, be better.”
Aligned energy says: “You are already enough.”

You don’t have to break down to slow down.
You’re allowed to succeed without suffering.

06/30/2025

A Gentle Somatic Reset for Monday morning- or anytime.

When your system feels overstimulated, take a quiet moment to return to yourself:

Inhale slowly through the nose – a count of 4.
Pause and hold – just for a moment.
Exhale longer than you inhale – a count of 6 or more.
Feel your body’s contact with the chair or ground. Let it support you.
Rest your hand over your heart or belly. Offer quiet reassurance.
Name your state. “In this moment, I am here.”
A simple practice to help your body remember: safety is possible.

—

05/21/2025

Practicing Equanimity
Equanimity (n.): mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper — especially in difficult situations.

But in somatic therapy, equanimity is more than a mindset.
It’s a body-based capacity to stay present with what is —
without being overwhelmed by it.

It doesn’t mean you feel peaceful all the time.
It means you can feel anxious, uncertain, even afraid — and still remain connected to yourself.

In practice, equanimity might look like:
• Soften the jaw
• Feel your feet on the floor
• Take one conscious breath
• Notice the urge to react — and pause instead

Equanimity isn’t cold or detached.
It’s the warmth of "I can be with this, too."
A steady presence in a world that asks us to rush, numb, or fix.

You don’t have to be unshakable.
You just have to be willing to stay.

05/14/2025

Loving kindness meditation fills you soul! Begin by settling in:
Find a comfortable position—sitting, lying down, or even standing. Allow your body to feel supported. If closing your eyes doesn’t feel right, soften your gaze or pick a point to gently rest your attention.

Take a few grounding breaths:
Notice the inhale... and the exhale.
Allow yourself to arrive in this moment.
Feel your connection to the ground beneath you.

Now, bring your attention to yourself.
If it feels okay, silently repeat these phrases—or adjust them in a way that feels authentic:

May I feel safe enough in this moment.
May I meet myself with kindness.
May I feel at home in my body.
May I allow whatever is here, with gentleness.
There’s no need to force any feeling. Just let the words be an offering.

When you're ready, think of someone who’s easy to care for—a pet, a friend, a mentor, or even a tree or place that brings comfort.

Offer the same kindness outward:

May you feel safe enough in this moment.
May you be met with kindness.
May you feel at home in your body.
May you allow what’s here, with gentleness.
Let the words move at a natural pace. If images or emotions arise, you can acknowledge them without needing to hold on or push away.

If it feels right, gently expand your circle:
Include someone neutral, then someone you find challenging—or skip this step if it doesn’t feel supportive today.

Eventually, you might extend your well-wishes outward:

May all beings feel safe enough.
May all beings be met with kindness.
May all beings feel at home in their bodies.
May all beings allow what is, with gentleness.
When you're ready, return to your breath.
Feel your body in this space.
Gently wiggle fingers or toes.
Take a moment to thank yourself for practicing.

04/16/2025

Life is fluid, and holding too tightly can keep us stuck.
Try letting go of the need to control how things unfold. Trust that who you are is not defined by external validation. The more you detach from outcomes, the more space you create for authenticity to guide you.
https://maryelizabethburns.com/

04/15/2025

Tap into the wisdom of your subconscious.

04/01/2025

Mary Elizabeth Burns, LPC
Holistic Psychotherapy

Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC, offers holistic psychotherapy for trauma, anxiety, body image, and LGBTQ support. Schedule your appointment today!